Narrative Quandary and Solution
Been giving a deal of thought to how a story is going to go in my comic and there was a lot of emptiness in my head where I couldn't figure out the journey form point A to point B. Buuuut after I was trying to figure out some timeline things in some smut I was writing (on mature filter) so I could determine Talon's age, when I had an epiphany at the potential technological progress that would occur and the actual crux of conflict I was missing.
Soooo in order for this to make any amount of sense for those that are not in my brain I'm going to lay out a lot of specific elements and this is going to get long.
Okay so first I guess I wanna say one of the core themes of my story have to be about the choices made in the past and their ramifications in the future, for good or bad. Because of that all the events in the comic are directly related to choices from the past and understanding the past is important to solving the future to prevent the cycle and find solutions, not just patches.
The background event that this all centers on, is when humans make their first venture to a planet they've researched as being capable of sustaining human life. The human vessel was designed to be a one-way trip with the eventual plan to eventually make a new settlement and establish a colony there. In the next decades or centuries, depending on how easy it is to colonize, they would use the ship again and make a new launching bay to return home. However when they arrive and find that it's very much inhabited by a thriving and knowledgeable sapient species.
The initial contact is actually positive, and after some time the native inhabitants, Ertakar, and the Humans, learn to communicate and make a life there. After a time, the Humans establish their colony on the outskirts of the Ertakar city they touched down near to and things are mostly peaceful. Though, conflict arises in time, until finally a headstrong group of humans partake in an act of violence against some neighboring Ertakar. Naturally, the Ertakar want them to leave, but the humans feel entitled to their work on the colony, others fear they may not be able to make the journey back and feel unfairly punished by the Ertakar for the act that 'only a few' did, this is in addition to the humans having a non-trivial amount of children. The tension escalates and eventually a war breaks out between the human colony and the local Ertakar.
Truth be told the Ertakar thought they had that uprising taken care of, humans didn't look like they could defend themselves and appeared more like prey animals. They were woefully un-prepared for the kind of warfare technology humans had and how easily it could kill. Now it's not to say that Ertakar don't have weapons, but because they are active predators and all know how to use teeth and claw to kill, the way they waged warfare was different. So while any un-armored human was no match for an Ertakar that got the jump on them, the armored humans and automatons that had been loaded onto the ship for emergencies, were completely foreign and dangerous. In time the local Ertakar found themselves with a huge loss of life they were not expecting. (It's worth nothing that Ertakar reproduce slowly due to not having any other competing predators, wars between their own kind have had routinely devastating effects on their population.)
Where humans were significantly more advanced in robotics, Ertakar were advanced in the ways of biology. They had long since dipped into gene therapy in ways humans had only brushed the surface on and had highly advanced medical techniques. In order to deal with the human threat and level the playing field, there were two projects that had been researched that were brought to the forefront. One was a project they had been working on for some time to Enhance an individual biological fortitude, the other was a new one that seemed far-fetched even to them, to make one of their own look like a human. They figured since they looked so different, they had no way of spying or subterfuge that would be what they needed to tip the scales. What resulted was what became known as the Teotkoa (it's supposed to mean something akin to 'demigod' in their local language) and a unique subclass of human shapeshifting Teotkoa.
The experiments were not all successful, several Ertakar died in the process or it was only partially effective. The shape-shifting subset was an accidental discovery (something something, getting the DNA to be able to hold two different 'blueprints' as latent memory that can be switched between) and even less of the Teotkoa with this trait were successfully created. They also turned to experimenting on human captives, the survivors resulting in an abnormal subgroup of humans called Jal-Kar. (There were Ertakar that were failed subjects to the shape shifting that ended up in similar Jal-Kar half-formed states but there is conflict as to whether they consider themselves likewise Jal-Kar or not)
These Teotkoa both those that could shape-shift and those that could not proved to tip the scales of the conflict. Among the Teotkoa was Tlakanok, Talon's mother. Being both a successful shape shifter and among those that best expressed the benefits of the experiment, she ended up racking the highest body count of the soldiers. As a result she was regarded as the most dangerous of the Teotkoa and regarded as a threat of their continued existence. They also used the human experiments as a means of threat, which most humans found horrifying and otherwise demoralizing. So in combination of both the devastation the new Teotkoa soldiers were creating and the knowledge of the human experiments and threat it could be weaponized, a cease-fire was finally ordered.
In order for continued peace between the Humans and Ertakar, a treaty was negotiated. On top of putting an end to anything like the Teotkoa ever again, they wanted even more genetic regulation (not too dissimilar to the terms of the augment regulations for technology way back during the Pretorian setting). Another one of the terms they demanded was that Tlakanok be executed. The rest of the Teotkoa would be left be but they would need to be sterilized to prevent any more with the same traits. (For the record, all second generation Teotkoa are a result of pregnancies that occurred during the war, that's why there's so few.) The humans would then dismantle and scrap all projectile weapons and other tools of warfare for raw parts, only leaving weapons for the purpose of hunting. Initially the Ertakar didn't feel it right to execute their own, especially one they knew to be even-tempered and kind despite her augmentation, and a plan was made to agree to the terms but fake Tlakanok's death, which worked.
Tlakanok spent some time in hiding until some years past, then took her less recognizable form as a human to live in one of the human colonies. Though there was a snag. Where all the other Teotkoa had been sterilized by this time, because they were trying to hide her existence she managed to be the only one they didn't sterilize. For the most part they assumed she wouldn't make any foolish decisions that would jeopardize her existence and didn't make this problem a priority, but this was not the case. After a century and a half or so, Tlakanok wanted to see if maybe she could have a child that didn't have the Teotkoa traits and thus be safe. So she got herself pregnant by a human, in her human form, (father is unknown, was a stranger and one chance hookup) in hopes that maybe that would be enough to not pass on her obvious traits, unfortunately this was not the case. And thus, Talon was born.
SO ALL THAT ESTABLISHED, the current story of the comic.
The plot of the comic is that old wounds of the war are re-opened and rising tension causes escalating conflicts that could result in all-out war. One of the things that was supposed to spark this tension was the existence of Talon. Her existence revealed that Tlakanok was never executed as the treaties agreed, and that she had ALSO reproduced. This shook trust in the governing foundation not only for Humans but also Ertakar that had by that time, considered the Teotkoa to be particularly dangerous.
However I always felt as tho this wasn't enough, like yes it makes sense her existence would tip the scale, but was the weight that was already on the scale to begin with?
One of my initial thoughts was that it was a Human/Jal-kar movement motivated by the idea that Ertakar haven't paid enough for the genetic mutilation they inflicted on the group of humans all those years back, who's lineage have genuine problems that cannot all be solved with gene therapy. Along with some self entitled humans to believe they are owed more territory than they have. The antagonist, Dameon, co-opts this movement by gaining the trust of a head figure, Jaisce. Over time he betrays Jaisce and turns the large following of loyalists he accumulated in the movement, twists the message and then turns it into a guerrilla war operation. This is where it sat for a long time, but I had a difficult time figuring out how to really direct anything.
Recently, I had been indulging in some interesting media criticism (particularly one about the legend of Korra's first season) that has made me consider this whole.. setup. Jal-Kar are indeed a minority group with some genuine struggles and grievances, but I don't consider them the bad-guys in this nor do I want them to be perceived that way. What does it say if I used a minority group's genuine problems as fuel for someone's operation. What does it say about my perception of those genuinely enraged by their struggles and if I frame them in a way that could be easily misinterpreted as seeing them as frenzied and war-hungry, regardless of what my intent was. What I wanted to tell was a story about those that are opportunists using someone else's grievances as an excuse to justify cruelty but are NOT part of the minority group themselves, and this would not be the way to convey it. I needed another approach that wasn't 'take well-meaning minority group and turn them into a military operation'. The people Dameon should be manipulating, the ones I should show being the bulk of the aggressors, should be largely the malicious opportunists, not the minority with very real grievances and they need to fly a banner for a different cause. So now that I'm shifting what the 'cause' of the uprising is, I have to figure out... what it actually is.
That's where my re-evaluation of the timeline comes in. So for context, I ball-parked 150-200 years between that war, and the time line for the comic's setting. (To provide a frame of reference, the time between the US civil war and now is about 160 years, and between WW2 and now is about 80 years. Related to this, the time between the first launch of a space craft, and now, is 59 years.) I was considering the speed of the advancement of technology, then it hit me - what if the development for a space vessel capable of round trip space flight was started as a means of repairing the relationship between Humans and Ertakar after the war. Considering they'd have the help of the Ertakar in that time development, research, and production would go significantly faster. It would be entirely feasible for them to have a fully operational space program in that time. And then suddenly everything started to click into place.
What if the real issue that starts to whip fringe and opportunistic humans into conflict, is a lie spun that Ertakar are working to kick humans off the planet and regard the newest space project nearing completion, as a threat. Tlakanok being sought out and exposed was the 'proof' Dameon wanted to use to sow distrust between people and the government at large, so that anyone that wanted to believe the worst would have 'proof' they could call to and justify their fears. 'They lied to us about Tlakanok, how do we know they're not lying about the space program'. Not only is this a better choice moralistically, but also thematically. It echos the first war and adds to the theme of facing choices made in the past and the ramifications thereof.
Ever since I've hit this epiphany I've had more scenarios crop in my head without provocation, I have a better sense of direction and I'm getting a clearer picture of an actual narrative. Having a central target and overall end goal for the conflict (I had no actual idea what the end goal was for the conflict before, which was a large problem why I kept getting stuck in my writing) means I have a more clear conclusion, and I'm finally starting to feel like I HAVE something. And honestly? It's exciting.
Soooo in order for this to make any amount of sense for those that are not in my brain I'm going to lay out a lot of specific elements and this is going to get long.
Okay so first I guess I wanna say one of the core themes of my story have to be about the choices made in the past and their ramifications in the future, for good or bad. Because of that all the events in the comic are directly related to choices from the past and understanding the past is important to solving the future to prevent the cycle and find solutions, not just patches.
The background event that this all centers on, is when humans make their first venture to a planet they've researched as being capable of sustaining human life. The human vessel was designed to be a one-way trip with the eventual plan to eventually make a new settlement and establish a colony there. In the next decades or centuries, depending on how easy it is to colonize, they would use the ship again and make a new launching bay to return home. However when they arrive and find that it's very much inhabited by a thriving and knowledgeable sapient species.
The initial contact is actually positive, and after some time the native inhabitants, Ertakar, and the Humans, learn to communicate and make a life there. After a time, the Humans establish their colony on the outskirts of the Ertakar city they touched down near to and things are mostly peaceful. Though, conflict arises in time, until finally a headstrong group of humans partake in an act of violence against some neighboring Ertakar. Naturally, the Ertakar want them to leave, but the humans feel entitled to their work on the colony, others fear they may not be able to make the journey back and feel unfairly punished by the Ertakar for the act that 'only a few' did, this is in addition to the humans having a non-trivial amount of children. The tension escalates and eventually a war breaks out between the human colony and the local Ertakar.
Truth be told the Ertakar thought they had that uprising taken care of, humans didn't look like they could defend themselves and appeared more like prey animals. They were woefully un-prepared for the kind of warfare technology humans had and how easily it could kill. Now it's not to say that Ertakar don't have weapons, but because they are active predators and all know how to use teeth and claw to kill, the way they waged warfare was different. So while any un-armored human was no match for an Ertakar that got the jump on them, the armored humans and automatons that had been loaded onto the ship for emergencies, were completely foreign and dangerous. In time the local Ertakar found themselves with a huge loss of life they were not expecting. (It's worth nothing that Ertakar reproduce slowly due to not having any other competing predators, wars between their own kind have had routinely devastating effects on their population.)
Where humans were significantly more advanced in robotics, Ertakar were advanced in the ways of biology. They had long since dipped into gene therapy in ways humans had only brushed the surface on and had highly advanced medical techniques. In order to deal with the human threat and level the playing field, there were two projects that had been researched that were brought to the forefront. One was a project they had been working on for some time to Enhance an individual biological fortitude, the other was a new one that seemed far-fetched even to them, to make one of their own look like a human. They figured since they looked so different, they had no way of spying or subterfuge that would be what they needed to tip the scales. What resulted was what became known as the Teotkoa (it's supposed to mean something akin to 'demigod' in their local language) and a unique subclass of human shapeshifting Teotkoa.
The experiments were not all successful, several Ertakar died in the process or it was only partially effective. The shape-shifting subset was an accidental discovery (something something, getting the DNA to be able to hold two different 'blueprints' as latent memory that can be switched between) and even less of the Teotkoa with this trait were successfully created. They also turned to experimenting on human captives, the survivors resulting in an abnormal subgroup of humans called Jal-Kar. (There were Ertakar that were failed subjects to the shape shifting that ended up in similar Jal-Kar half-formed states but there is conflict as to whether they consider themselves likewise Jal-Kar or not)
These Teotkoa both those that could shape-shift and those that could not proved to tip the scales of the conflict. Among the Teotkoa was Tlakanok, Talon's mother. Being both a successful shape shifter and among those that best expressed the benefits of the experiment, she ended up racking the highest body count of the soldiers. As a result she was regarded as the most dangerous of the Teotkoa and regarded as a threat of their continued existence. They also used the human experiments as a means of threat, which most humans found horrifying and otherwise demoralizing. So in combination of both the devastation the new Teotkoa soldiers were creating and the knowledge of the human experiments and threat it could be weaponized, a cease-fire was finally ordered.
In order for continued peace between the Humans and Ertakar, a treaty was negotiated. On top of putting an end to anything like the Teotkoa ever again, they wanted even more genetic regulation (not too dissimilar to the terms of the augment regulations for technology way back during the Pretorian setting). Another one of the terms they demanded was that Tlakanok be executed. The rest of the Teotkoa would be left be but they would need to be sterilized to prevent any more with the same traits. (For the record, all second generation Teotkoa are a result of pregnancies that occurred during the war, that's why there's so few.) The humans would then dismantle and scrap all projectile weapons and other tools of warfare for raw parts, only leaving weapons for the purpose of hunting. Initially the Ertakar didn't feel it right to execute their own, especially one they knew to be even-tempered and kind despite her augmentation, and a plan was made to agree to the terms but fake Tlakanok's death, which worked.
Tlakanok spent some time in hiding until some years past, then took her less recognizable form as a human to live in one of the human colonies. Though there was a snag. Where all the other Teotkoa had been sterilized by this time, because they were trying to hide her existence she managed to be the only one they didn't sterilize. For the most part they assumed she wouldn't make any foolish decisions that would jeopardize her existence and didn't make this problem a priority, but this was not the case. After a century and a half or so, Tlakanok wanted to see if maybe she could have a child that didn't have the Teotkoa traits and thus be safe. So she got herself pregnant by a human, in her human form, (father is unknown, was a stranger and one chance hookup) in hopes that maybe that would be enough to not pass on her obvious traits, unfortunately this was not the case. And thus, Talon was born.
SO ALL THAT ESTABLISHED, the current story of the comic.
The plot of the comic is that old wounds of the war are re-opened and rising tension causes escalating conflicts that could result in all-out war. One of the things that was supposed to spark this tension was the existence of Talon. Her existence revealed that Tlakanok was never executed as the treaties agreed, and that she had ALSO reproduced. This shook trust in the governing foundation not only for Humans but also Ertakar that had by that time, considered the Teotkoa to be particularly dangerous.
However I always felt as tho this wasn't enough, like yes it makes sense her existence would tip the scale, but was the weight that was already on the scale to begin with?
One of my initial thoughts was that it was a Human/Jal-kar movement motivated by the idea that Ertakar haven't paid enough for the genetic mutilation they inflicted on the group of humans all those years back, who's lineage have genuine problems that cannot all be solved with gene therapy. Along with some self entitled humans to believe they are owed more territory than they have. The antagonist, Dameon, co-opts this movement by gaining the trust of a head figure, Jaisce. Over time he betrays Jaisce and turns the large following of loyalists he accumulated in the movement, twists the message and then turns it into a guerrilla war operation. This is where it sat for a long time, but I had a difficult time figuring out how to really direct anything.
Recently, I had been indulging in some interesting media criticism (particularly one about the legend of Korra's first season) that has made me consider this whole.. setup. Jal-Kar are indeed a minority group with some genuine struggles and grievances, but I don't consider them the bad-guys in this nor do I want them to be perceived that way. What does it say if I used a minority group's genuine problems as fuel for someone's operation. What does it say about my perception of those genuinely enraged by their struggles and if I frame them in a way that could be easily misinterpreted as seeing them as frenzied and war-hungry, regardless of what my intent was. What I wanted to tell was a story about those that are opportunists using someone else's grievances as an excuse to justify cruelty but are NOT part of the minority group themselves, and this would not be the way to convey it. I needed another approach that wasn't 'take well-meaning minority group and turn them into a military operation'. The people Dameon should be manipulating, the ones I should show being the bulk of the aggressors, should be largely the malicious opportunists, not the minority with very real grievances and they need to fly a banner for a different cause. So now that I'm shifting what the 'cause' of the uprising is, I have to figure out... what it actually is.
That's where my re-evaluation of the timeline comes in. So for context, I ball-parked 150-200 years between that war, and the time line for the comic's setting. (To provide a frame of reference, the time between the US civil war and now is about 160 years, and between WW2 and now is about 80 years. Related to this, the time between the first launch of a space craft, and now, is 59 years.) I was considering the speed of the advancement of technology, then it hit me - what if the development for a space vessel capable of round trip space flight was started as a means of repairing the relationship between Humans and Ertakar after the war. Considering they'd have the help of the Ertakar in that time development, research, and production would go significantly faster. It would be entirely feasible for them to have a fully operational space program in that time. And then suddenly everything started to click into place.
What if the real issue that starts to whip fringe and opportunistic humans into conflict, is a lie spun that Ertakar are working to kick humans off the planet and regard the newest space project nearing completion, as a threat. Tlakanok being sought out and exposed was the 'proof' Dameon wanted to use to sow distrust between people and the government at large, so that anyone that wanted to believe the worst would have 'proof' they could call to and justify their fears. 'They lied to us about Tlakanok, how do we know they're not lying about the space program'. Not only is this a better choice moralistically, but also thematically. It echos the first war and adds to the theme of facing choices made in the past and the ramifications thereof.
Ever since I've hit this epiphany I've had more scenarios crop in my head without provocation, I have a better sense of direction and I'm getting a clearer picture of an actual narrative. Having a central target and overall end goal for the conflict (I had no actual idea what the end goal was for the conflict before, which was a large problem why I kept getting stuck in my writing) means I have a more clear conclusion, and I'm finally starting to feel like I HAVE something. And honestly? It's exciting.