Turn prompt fill
I'll just put the link to the prompt here as well. It's a little something that I wrote when I was feeling inspired and then revised it once and forgot about it. But it wasn't meant to be anything more so I thought I could finish it and post it, at least that way I could tick off one wip. I wanted to keep this one gen, max pre-slash, but I don't know how well I managed this, since it seems that writing anything involving those two makes me lean towards the slashy site of things.
“The Culper Ring isn´t a failure, sir!” Ben protests. It is never pleasant to face General Washington´s disapproval, but to be told, in essence, that he needs to get off his lazy bottom and do something useful for the cause stings so much, much more than being chewed out for his unconventional methods.
“It has been three months since your agent managed to send us intelligence from York City, and now he´s imprisoned there and apparently, awaiting execution - while this new person of interest remains indifferent to the cause at best, according to last news, and holds our secrets in his hands! Tell me, Major, are those the results of a capable Chief of Intelligence?”
“I am doing my best!”
“Well your best clearly isn´t enough!” The words are like a heavy blow to his heart, bringing all Ben´s insecurities to the forefront. He´s too young, too inexperienced, too brash, not clever or forward thinking enough, just not good enough…
Ben feels the hot prick of tears burning behind his eyelids and knows he has to go, now, before they spill over and General Washington notices. His throat feels tight already and no matter how many times he swallows, it won´t get any looser. If he is to offer any kind of excuse before bolting, he has to do it now, or else his voice will betray him.
“I will endeavor to do better, sir,” he whispers, hoping Washington won´t notice that his voice is much higher pitched than usual. He briskly turns to leave, but is stopped equally as quickly.
“I have not dismissed you yet, Tallmadge,” Washington´s voice is calm and low, but to Ben it sounds like a crack of the whip. He stops in his place, not turning to face his commander, because he cannot be sure he can master his expression.
“This habit of yours needs to stop. I have trusted you with discretion to manage your agents, but recently it has skirted far too close to insubordination.” Ben blinks and the tears spill. He has to be careful, breathing shallowly for fear of being heard wheezing.
“Look at me when I´m talking to you, Major!”
Ben has no other option but to turn on his heel. He keeps his head down, hoping that the tear tracks will go unnoticed, but his efforts are ruined when he tries to speak and a sniffle comes out instead.
“Benjamin?” Washington´s voice immediately loses its composure. “Are you alright?” Now it´s gentle, almost honey-smooth.
Ben takes a deep breath through his mouth and clears his throat a few times. It won´t do for his officer to see that he can be reduced to tears by mere words. How humiliating. “Fine, sir,” he croaks out, still a bit higher than his usual tone. “May I be excused?” Unfortunately, his voice cracks at the end of that sentence. Ben cringes a bit and waits for the inevitable disappointment and contempt.
Instead, Washington comes to stand in front of him, gently grasping his chin with his long fingers and tilting his face up. “What´s wrong, Ben?” He lets out a little gasp at the sight of tears still glistening in Ben´s eyes and caresses the dried tear tracks with his other hand.
“I do apologize,“ whispers Ben hoarsely. “I hadn´t meant for you to see that.”
“Why ever not?”
Ben closes his eyes. Is Washington really going to make him say it out loud? That is unnecessarily cruel. He thought the general liked him - at least before he messed up. “I couldn´t control myself/my emotions. Still can´t-” he has to pause and sniff “-It´s unbecoming of an officer to be seen like this, and in front of his superior, no less.”
“There is no shame in feeling emotions. It merely makes us human.” Washington hesitates for a moment. “I fear I have spoken too brashly. It was not my intention to hurt you, and I was rather harsh with you-”
Ben cuts him off. “No, sir, it´s just… with everything that happened lately, and… Mr Sackett…”
“I see,” murmered Washington, caressing his hair softly. “It wasn´t your fault, you know.”
“I should have been there!” exploded Ben. “I should have figured it out sooner, I should have…it should have been me,” his voice dissolves into sobs.
“Oh, my boy,” Washington drew Ben into an embrace. “The fault for Mr Sackett´s unfortunate demise is mostly mine. I have been blinded by my confidence, while you saw through the charade.”
“Not soon enough to make a difference,” said Ben bitterly into Washington’s shoulder.
“Do not be so hard on yourself. While one must always strive for perfection, one cannot be all-knowing or all-seeing. Leave that to Providence, and trust in It in the wake of the errors made.”
..............I'm not sure about those last lines. I wanted to keep the fic religion-free, but it's hard when I know GW really believed in Providence and he would be trying to comfort Ben somehow here. so what would he say.. what do you think? also, I need to wrap things up after this dialogue, put some more comfort in this fic, any ideas? preferably gen.
“The Culper Ring isn´t a failure, sir!” Ben protests. It is never pleasant to face General Washington´s disapproval, but to be told, in essence, that he needs to get off his lazy bottom and do something useful for the cause stings so much, much more than being chewed out for his unconventional methods.
“It has been three months since your agent managed to send us intelligence from York City, and now he´s imprisoned there and apparently, awaiting execution - while this new person of interest remains indifferent to the cause at best, according to last news, and holds our secrets in his hands! Tell me, Major, are those the results of a capable Chief of Intelligence?”
“I am doing my best!”
“Well your best clearly isn´t enough!” The words are like a heavy blow to his heart, bringing all Ben´s insecurities to the forefront. He´s too young, too inexperienced, too brash, not clever or forward thinking enough, just not good enough…
Ben feels the hot prick of tears burning behind his eyelids and knows he has to go, now, before they spill over and General Washington notices. His throat feels tight already and no matter how many times he swallows, it won´t get any looser. If he is to offer any kind of excuse before bolting, he has to do it now, or else his voice will betray him.
“I will endeavor to do better, sir,” he whispers, hoping Washington won´t notice that his voice is much higher pitched than usual. He briskly turns to leave, but is stopped equally as quickly.
“I have not dismissed you yet, Tallmadge,” Washington´s voice is calm and low, but to Ben it sounds like a crack of the whip. He stops in his place, not turning to face his commander, because he cannot be sure he can master his expression.
“This habit of yours needs to stop. I have trusted you with discretion to manage your agents, but recently it has skirted far too close to insubordination.” Ben blinks and the tears spill. He has to be careful, breathing shallowly for fear of being heard wheezing.
“Look at me when I´m talking to you, Major!”
Ben has no other option but to turn on his heel. He keeps his head down, hoping that the tear tracks will go unnoticed, but his efforts are ruined when he tries to speak and a sniffle comes out instead.
“Benjamin?” Washington´s voice immediately loses its composure. “Are you alright?” Now it´s gentle, almost honey-smooth.
Ben takes a deep breath through his mouth and clears his throat a few times. It won´t do for his officer to see that he can be reduced to tears by mere words. How humiliating. “Fine, sir,” he croaks out, still a bit higher than his usual tone. “May I be excused?” Unfortunately, his voice cracks at the end of that sentence. Ben cringes a bit and waits for the inevitable disappointment and contempt.
Instead, Washington comes to stand in front of him, gently grasping his chin with his long fingers and tilting his face up. “What´s wrong, Ben?” He lets out a little gasp at the sight of tears still glistening in Ben´s eyes and caresses the dried tear tracks with his other hand.
“I do apologize,“ whispers Ben hoarsely. “I hadn´t meant for you to see that.”
“Why ever not?”
Ben closes his eyes. Is Washington really going to make him say it out loud? That is unnecessarily cruel. He thought the general liked him - at least before he messed up. “I couldn´t control myself/my emotions. Still can´t-” he has to pause and sniff “-It´s unbecoming of an officer to be seen like this, and in front of his superior, no less.”
“There is no shame in feeling emotions. It merely makes us human.” Washington hesitates for a moment. “I fear I have spoken too brashly. It was not my intention to hurt you, and I was rather harsh with you-”
Ben cuts him off. “No, sir, it´s just… with everything that happened lately, and… Mr Sackett…”
“I see,” murmered Washington, caressing his hair softly. “It wasn´t your fault, you know.”
“I should have been there!” exploded Ben. “I should have figured it out sooner, I should have…it should have been me,” his voice dissolves into sobs.
“Oh, my boy,” Washington drew Ben into an embrace. “The fault for Mr Sackett´s unfortunate demise is mostly mine. I have been blinded by my confidence, while you saw through the charade.”
“Not soon enough to make a difference,” said Ben bitterly into Washington’s shoulder.
“Do not be so hard on yourself. While one must always strive for perfection, one cannot be all-knowing or all-seeing. Leave that to Providence, and trust in It in the wake of the errors made.”
..............I'm not sure about those last lines. I wanted to keep the fic religion-free, but it's hard when I know GW really believed in Providence and he would be trying to comfort Ben somehow here. so what would he say.. what do you think? also, I need to wrap things up after this dialogue, put some more comfort in this fic, any ideas? preferably gen.