Hostile Takeover
"I'll just sit here and reflect on my own awesomeness..."
So there I was on a saturday afternoon, walking to Dunkin Donuts. A searing pain radiated down my back and through my chest. I knew what it was. I had been experiencing it on and off for years. But of course, I ignored it. I got to dunkin donuts and the unmistakable suffocating feeling took over and then the need to either sit down or lay down before I fainted, over came me.
To make a long story short, I ended up at the ICU for six days...had my lungs pumped...which I can tell you is the worst shit ever. Try spending five days with a pump protruding out of your side, pumping air in and blood out. Hurts like a bitch but just my luck, I'm allergic to morphine, so percocet and some other meds I can't pronounce became my best friends. Finally, they stapled my lung ( a blebectomy) and sent me home.
The thing is, the entire time I was suffering, all I kept thinking was, "Shit! I missed HOSTILE MAKEOVER!" Because I did! It aired the day after I was admitted. So, I got to see it finally, bootleg style and am really enjoying watching it over and over solely for the Majestic Mary. Seriously. Mary is...majestic. McAwesome. Marvelous. Magical. And any other 'M' words that mean greatness or harken to a time when women like her were the shit and little twits we see in the tabloids now, were nonexistent.
Anyhoo...I'm at home, but I am in a hell of a lot of pain and all I can say is the lung(s) is a major freakin' organ and cutting into it will leave you with crippling pain that only lots and lots of vodka can numb. Naw. Just kidding. Ibuprofen is good. It's just not percocet. Tsk.
Here's some pretty to make us all overcome what ails us:
"Whoa! Who's the one in the pink trench coat?"
" A toast...to the Mary, who made this TV movie enjoyable."