Blah
So, I've been meaning to post here for a week or so now, but tbh, have not really had much to say.
Nothing good has happened recently, and actually, as soon as I deal with one problem, a worse one takes it's place.
Right now the issue is that the council, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that my student loan combined with my child tax credit takes me to way above the financial limit that they deem acceptable, and have thus cut my housing benefit by half.
Now, I am only in receipt of my student loan between October and May, and since my last payment pretty much all went on the rent deposit for a nice flat for me and Damien, have not had it to live on since around mid-May. My child tax credit is £59 a week. Hardly enough to live on in this economical climate.
So, bills haven't been paid in order that I can pay my rent. It was a struggle previously, when I was getting about 90% of my rent paid for me. I still struggled to pay my top up then. But now? It's actually going to be impossible. It's a choice between putting 100% of my income into rent, or eating. And I don't know what to do.
I pleaded with the council to change it - I don't actually get my student loan until September, so how can I currently be getting too much? But they won't. They're taking my student loan as an annual income. Not useful.
So I then moved to the DWP. Getting moved from one department to another, almost constantly on hold, trying to find out if there's anything else I am entitled to that may help.
I started an application for income support over the phone, but they wouldn't finish it. There's a debate about whether I can apply or not. While I am currently eligible for income support, I won't be once I start uni again. So after keeping me on hold for almost half an hour, the man in the office decided that it would be better if he just get people to call me back and finish the application. And they're not going to do that until Tuesday, between 8 and 1.
Still, at the very least, I might be able to get it backdated, which would give me a small amount of money to pay my uni fee, and get Merlin's ashes home.
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Not that I've mentioned the uni fee on lj yet...... ¬.¬
So.....In May/June we were forced to go on a compulsory field course, to some Loaf-forsaken place in the middle of Surrey. I never wanted to go, and I was very vocal about not wanting to go. But I had to. One of those "you either go, or you fail instantly" sort of situations. Not cool.
So when I got an invoice last month for £180 for this compulsory field course I never wanted to go on, I was annoyed. I can't afford to pay it, for all the above reasons, so I figured I'd just pay it when I got my student loan in October.
Only.....I won't get my student loan until the uni have confirmed my enrolment, but the uni won't let me enrol until I've paid the fee. One of those catch 22 situations, I guess. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get around that one.
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And then there's Merlin. My poor fuzzy Merlin. *sighs*
Man, do I miss that cat something chronic. I have no words for it.
I find myself on Skype to my boyfriend and saying "Back in a minute, I'm just gonna feed the cats", or telling Damien "I've told you to keep your door shut! Do you want the cats sleeping on your bed?" I even call Heidi "Merls" by mistake. And then I realise what I've just said, and it hurts.
And thinking about Merlin hurts so much that I've started to just NOT think about him. I can go for days without even thinking about him, or briefly thinking about him and instantly doing a 180 degree turn in my head to avoid it. And then several days later I realise I haven't thought about him in days, and it all comes crashing down on me like the weight of the whole world, and I feel so guilty. I keep thinking that he deserves so much better than a complete blanking out of the fact he ever existed, but right now I don't know how else to deal with the pain.
I don't have his ashes back yet. The vet won't release them until his bill is paid in full. Understandable, yeah. But with my current financial situation, I'm worried that I'll not get them back at all. They have said that they're not going to get rid of his ashes because I haven't paid yet, but I'm so worried that it will get to be too late when I finally do have the money.
*sighs*
Man, am I in a mess..... :(
Nothing good has happened recently, and actually, as soon as I deal with one problem, a worse one takes it's place.
Right now the issue is that the council, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that my student loan combined with my child tax credit takes me to way above the financial limit that they deem acceptable, and have thus cut my housing benefit by half.
Now, I am only in receipt of my student loan between October and May, and since my last payment pretty much all went on the rent deposit for a nice flat for me and Damien, have not had it to live on since around mid-May. My child tax credit is £59 a week. Hardly enough to live on in this economical climate.
So, bills haven't been paid in order that I can pay my rent. It was a struggle previously, when I was getting about 90% of my rent paid for me. I still struggled to pay my top up then. But now? It's actually going to be impossible. It's a choice between putting 100% of my income into rent, or eating. And I don't know what to do.
I pleaded with the council to change it - I don't actually get my student loan until September, so how can I currently be getting too much? But they won't. They're taking my student loan as an annual income. Not useful.
So I then moved to the DWP. Getting moved from one department to another, almost constantly on hold, trying to find out if there's anything else I am entitled to that may help.
I started an application for income support over the phone, but they wouldn't finish it. There's a debate about whether I can apply or not. While I am currently eligible for income support, I won't be once I start uni again. So after keeping me on hold for almost half an hour, the man in the office decided that it would be better if he just get people to call me back and finish the application. And they're not going to do that until Tuesday, between 8 and 1.
Still, at the very least, I might be able to get it backdated, which would give me a small amount of money to pay my uni fee, and get Merlin's ashes home.
-------
Not that I've mentioned the uni fee on lj yet...... ¬.¬
So.....In May/June we were forced to go on a compulsory field course, to some Loaf-forsaken place in the middle of Surrey. I never wanted to go, and I was very vocal about not wanting to go. But I had to. One of those "you either go, or you fail instantly" sort of situations. Not cool.
So when I got an invoice last month for £180 for this compulsory field course I never wanted to go on, I was annoyed. I can't afford to pay it, for all the above reasons, so I figured I'd just pay it when I got my student loan in October.
Only.....I won't get my student loan until the uni have confirmed my enrolment, but the uni won't let me enrol until I've paid the fee. One of those catch 22 situations, I guess. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get around that one.
-------
And then there's Merlin. My poor fuzzy Merlin. *sighs*
Man, do I miss that cat something chronic. I have no words for it.
I find myself on Skype to my boyfriend and saying "Back in a minute, I'm just gonna feed the cats", or telling Damien "I've told you to keep your door shut! Do you want the cats sleeping on your bed?" I even call Heidi "Merls" by mistake. And then I realise what I've just said, and it hurts.
And thinking about Merlin hurts so much that I've started to just NOT think about him. I can go for days without even thinking about him, or briefly thinking about him and instantly doing a 180 degree turn in my head to avoid it. And then several days later I realise I haven't thought about him in days, and it all comes crashing down on me like the weight of the whole world, and I feel so guilty. I keep thinking that he deserves so much better than a complete blanking out of the fact he ever existed, but right now I don't know how else to deal with the pain.
I don't have his ashes back yet. The vet won't release them until his bill is paid in full. Understandable, yeah. But with my current financial situation, I'm worried that I'll not get them back at all. They have said that they're not going to get rid of his ashes because I haven't paid yet, but I'm so worried that it will get to be too late when I finally do have the money.
*sighs*
Man, am I in a mess..... :(