yay crisis.
so, it's time to update, and i don't care if nobody's reading.
i want my life to be completely different than what it is. i want to feel a part of the world. knox college probably isn't the place to do it. i feel absolutely stagnant: i came to knox because it was my only choice. i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life so i decided to just try to make the best of it, but now, my paradigms have shifted so much.
i want to be a graphic designer. i want to go to design school. "making the best of it" at knox just isn't enough - why settle for a "program" that doesn't have the resources, the connections, the real-world applications that i need?
every time i go home i think of transferring schools, but now more than ever i feel like i want to/have to transfer - i'm almost 100% sure of it this time. the bottom line is, i can't get what i want with knox. i do love to death the friends i've made there and nothing will replace them - i doubt i'll find as vibrant and stimulating a community at a big, city-based art school, but this is about me, my education, my future.
i also want to feel like i'm making some actual progress - if i stay at knox i'll basically just feel stuck in limbo. i don't want to stay there just because it's convenient and i'm already there. i want to dream big.
what i don't want is people to pressure me into staying, because it breaks my heart. it's already hard for me to spend 1 exhilarating year at school, make great friends, and then just up and leave after 1/3 of my sophomore year. yes, i love you guys, but this is a situation in which i deserve to be selfish - it's my life.
not to mention, living in galesburg frustrates the fuck out of me. every time i spend time in chicago or new york or any city i feel like a life i could be having is being dangled in front of me, as if it's taunting me. though there is much excitement to be had at knox, being sequestered on a tiny campus in a remote small town is not my idea of a great life.
kthxbai i just wanted to get my thoughts on paper
i want my life to be completely different than what it is. i want to feel a part of the world. knox college probably isn't the place to do it. i feel absolutely stagnant: i came to knox because it was my only choice. i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life so i decided to just try to make the best of it, but now, my paradigms have shifted so much.
i want to be a graphic designer. i want to go to design school. "making the best of it" at knox just isn't enough - why settle for a "program" that doesn't have the resources, the connections, the real-world applications that i need?
every time i go home i think of transferring schools, but now more than ever i feel like i want to/have to transfer - i'm almost 100% sure of it this time. the bottom line is, i can't get what i want with knox. i do love to death the friends i've made there and nothing will replace them - i doubt i'll find as vibrant and stimulating a community at a big, city-based art school, but this is about me, my education, my future.
i also want to feel like i'm making some actual progress - if i stay at knox i'll basically just feel stuck in limbo. i don't want to stay there just because it's convenient and i'm already there. i want to dream big.
what i don't want is people to pressure me into staying, because it breaks my heart. it's already hard for me to spend 1 exhilarating year at school, make great friends, and then just up and leave after 1/3 of my sophomore year. yes, i love you guys, but this is a situation in which i deserve to be selfish - it's my life.
not to mention, living in galesburg frustrates the fuck out of me. every time i spend time in chicago or new york or any city i feel like a life i could be having is being dangled in front of me, as if it's taunting me. though there is much excitement to be had at knox, being sequestered on a tiny campus in a remote small town is not my idea of a great life.
kthxbai i just wanted to get my thoughts on paper