Jealousy
I hate comparing.
Especially comparing myself to other people make me annoyed and a feeling of a uncompleted life.
Ingrid lives a busy and exciting life, traveling everywhere.
I rarely see Tom anymore, cause he is totally obsessed with his girlfriend.
Knut's at work, which I think he likes too or doing anything he wants at home.
Is there only my life that seems a bit pointless?
From my point of view I got:
Bad economy, boring social unless beer is included, no boyfriend.... I could go on and on.
I want to travel... to South Africa or Russia or maybe just a trip to Amsterdam
I want to buy a dinner that actually tastes something different
I want to be loved too, to have this obsessions that makes me happy.
But the only thing I get is high power bills, hightened roomrent and messy people I live with.
Mom did lots of comparing when I was younger... Look at Natalias kids, they are going to be doctors and vets. I tried to do good work at school... not cause I liked it or I didn't like to be with friends, but cause of not dissapointing mom. I did it for a long time. After a while I even start lying to her about my grades, just to not to see her saddened expression.
Today I feel like a moron, living in cold room in a dull city. Welcome to my life, lets compare it with someone else, who is much funnier....
I'll add a more happy song to this miserable diary.
And btw... I'm thinking about stop writing here, I don't get any fun from it anymore.
I desperately need happies. I haven't smiled today
Especially comparing myself to other people make me annoyed and a feeling of a uncompleted life.
Ingrid lives a busy and exciting life, traveling everywhere.
I rarely see Tom anymore, cause he is totally obsessed with his girlfriend.
Knut's at work, which I think he likes too or doing anything he wants at home.
Is there only my life that seems a bit pointless?
From my point of view I got:
Bad economy, boring social unless beer is included, no boyfriend.... I could go on and on.
I want to travel... to South Africa or Russia or maybe just a trip to Amsterdam
I want to buy a dinner that actually tastes something different
I want to be loved too, to have this obsessions that makes me happy.
But the only thing I get is high power bills, hightened roomrent and messy people I live with.
Mom did lots of comparing when I was younger... Look at Natalias kids, they are going to be doctors and vets. I tried to do good work at school... not cause I liked it or I didn't like to be with friends, but cause of not dissapointing mom. I did it for a long time. After a while I even start lying to her about my grades, just to not to see her saddened expression.
Today I feel like a moron, living in cold room in a dull city. Welcome to my life, lets compare it with someone else, who is much funnier....
I'll add a more happy song to this miserable diary.
And btw... I'm thinking about stop writing here, I don't get any fun from it anymore.
I desperately need happies. I haven't smiled today