TM 345 - Well-Organized
In another life, he could see himself as an addict, complete with trembling fingers, involuntary spasms, and grinding teeth as he waited for the next surge of fear, the delicious wave of chemical reactions coursing through his body. Luckily for this Jonathan Crane, he resists those urges. It isn’t that he doesn’t understand them, but those are the actions of someone ruled by animal impulses, someone for whom a life without fear is a deadened existence.
Jonathan Crane is anything but dead. He understands fear in a clinical abstract way, as he always has. He is familiar with fear on an intellectual level. He has felt it, of course, in fleeting forgotten glimpses (this is a lie. He knows exactly what it feels like, and he hates it, hates the helpless sniveling falling feeling, hates being out-of-control, hates being powerless, weak - hates whatever flaws that bring him to that. These are things he cannot allow himself to remember.) and so, he knows how necessary it is to control fear.
This need for control, the very basic tool to defeating fear, is invaluable to his research. Meticulous notes, careful schedules, precise measurements - control. This carefully structured existence allowed him to present an exemplary façade at Gotham University, kept the true nature of his work and his unorthodox methodologies under wraps for far longer than he’d expected. It allowed him a smooth road in transforming Arkham into a testing ground and fear-factory, and now, it allows him to ignore the bars, the myriad petty indignations of this oh-so-temporary confinement.
Planning. Patience. Perseverance. Control. With these, he’s mastered the disease at the heart of human existence. The Gotham Police, the Bat-Man - lesser foes when compared to fear, their defeat lies within his grasp as well. In his neatly arranged papers, his tidy schedules, his lines of data all in a row, his inevitable triumph awaits.
Jonathan Crane is anything but dead. He understands fear in a clinical abstract way, as he always has. He is familiar with fear on an intellectual level. He has felt it, of course, in fleeting forgotten glimpses (this is a lie. He knows exactly what it feels like, and he hates it, hates the helpless sniveling falling feeling, hates being out-of-control, hates being powerless, weak - hates whatever flaws that bring him to that. These are things he cannot allow himself to remember.) and so, he knows how necessary it is to control fear.
This need for control, the very basic tool to defeating fear, is invaluable to his research. Meticulous notes, careful schedules, precise measurements - control. This carefully structured existence allowed him to present an exemplary façade at Gotham University, kept the true nature of his work and his unorthodox methodologies under wraps for far longer than he’d expected. It allowed him a smooth road in transforming Arkham into a testing ground and fear-factory, and now, it allows him to ignore the bars, the myriad petty indignations of this oh-so-temporary confinement.
Planning. Patience. Perseverance. Control. With these, he’s mastered the disease at the heart of human existence. The Gotham Police, the Bat-Man - lesser foes when compared to fear, their defeat lies within his grasp as well. In his neatly arranged papers, his tidy schedules, his lines of data all in a row, his inevitable triumph awaits.