(no subject)

[arkaness]

well so far my weekend has really really sucked first my truck still doesn't work and we've been working on it for a while now then yesterday mary and i went to see a movie but ended up going shopping at walmart and another store that has special toys like vibrators but while i was at walmart i bought a box of condoms and a few other things then at that other store i bought mary a vibrator and while i was getting gas and she asked for six of then so that she could keep them at her house and the first thing in my head is that she just wants to have them so that she can have safe sex with justin and that kinda really pissed me off to the extreme then today we where suppose to go to the movies but we didn't because mary changed her mind and we ended up going shopping but that really got me pissed off because kept looking at these really small sizes and getting really depressed that she wasn't that size so we got in a fight over that also and it really got us both going but then i got her to understand that she needs to look at a size closer to what she is like one size down and shot for that and once she meets that size shot for that next size down and so on and so forth

I LOVE Mary Cassandra O'mally with all my being and all i want for her is to be happy and it kinda hit home today because when we are together i can only really give her one day of happiness in about 5 days of time but when she is with justin she is happy all the time and i know thats what she need she need him more then she needs me so if justin does ever get the balls to ask her if she wants to move to texas with him the part of me that causes pain say it wants her to go and the part that can actual make her happy for those brief moments says it wants her to stay here with me and let him go to texas alone but the needs, wants and desires of the many out way the needs, wants and desires of the few so i guess that my heart will have to take second best with her