(no subject)
we've had about an inch of snow so far today. I want to get snowed in by a couple of feet... I don't think it's too much to ask to be allowed a few days of isolation to regroup.
Have read some of the Tao Te Ching of some name i forget... So far (about page 23 or something) I sum it up saying "I deserve nothing ever, therefore I'll get it, but if I'd better be grateful and keep knowing I am a bum shit who deserves nothing or else it'll all collapse" it's confusing, complex and so utterly totally simple. I'm so glad I hadn't managed to build up my confidence much, it'll take so much less time to get all "i don't deserve even the time or energy it takes for you to kick me in the teeth, but if you want to, well go ahead because I don't deserve to be left alone or happy, or healthy or any of that stuff"!!!
YAY.
Have read some of the Tao Te Ching of some name i forget... So far (about page 23 or something) I sum it up saying "I deserve nothing ever, therefore I'll get it, but if I'd better be grateful and keep knowing I am a bum shit who deserves nothing or else it'll all collapse" it's confusing, complex and so utterly totally simple. I'm so glad I hadn't managed to build up my confidence much, it'll take so much less time to get all "i don't deserve even the time or energy it takes for you to kick me in the teeth, but if you want to, well go ahead because I don't deserve to be left alone or happy, or healthy or any of that stuff"!!!
YAY.