Save me the label of that perfume on the table...
Much to my surprise, in the spirit of half-assed mischief, and in answer to snowgrouse's request for the ficlet meme:
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Someone left the gate open.
TITLE: Hegemony
AUTHOR: kel
EMAIL: bessie@goldweb.com.au
FEEDBACK: aye
FANDOM: Doctor Who/A Very Peculiar Practice
PAIRING: Tegan/Rose Marie
SPOILERS: For Kinda
RATING: FRT-13
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: slash, ficlet
ARCHIVE: Fabulae
SUMMARY: post-Mara depression’s a bitch
FOR: snowgrouse
==========
Hegemony
==========
Lowlands canteen is crowded and noisy. Tegan hates it. Hates the students with their self-important smiles, their absolute confidence that they, and only they, will conquer the world. There’s nothing wrong with being a hostie, she tells herself. At least I’ve been somewhere. This lot...
This lot have friends. Lovers. Opportunities.
She looks around at Adric - eating, again. Nothing else exists for him, when there’s food. The Doctor would say it was fascinating; the legacy of orphanhood. Tegan would say his table manners suck. Nyssa’s vanished, blended into the crowd of New Wave wannabes at the biochemistry table. Which just leaves her and the pointyhead and...
- I thought you looked familiar, says the Doctor, her Doctor, to the man opposite. Cheerfully. - I should be used to it by now.
- There are others?
- Yes and no. It’s a bit difficult...
- Statistically, very simple! says Chen, slapping them both on the back. -- Big world, many doppelgangers. Marvellous! And useful when militia come.
Tegan looks pointedly from her Doctor to Daker, and back. They’re laughing, a beaming Chen between them. They’re nearly identical. Not just physically: diffident, quiet, gently melancholic. But she can tell them apart easily enough. It’s not just the clothes, or the Burmese boyfriend, or the ‘I’m talking to a loonie’ look on the face of the Earthman...
She knows that look all too well. It’s the way the others look at her, now. Ever since Deva Loka, they’ve treated her with kid gloves. She’s not stupid enough to think it’s compassion. She’s an interesting specimen, that’s all. An ape in remission.
Someone on the radio screams about the Master of Puppets.
She can still feel the power, the certainty, of the Mara. Of those few wonderful hours when she knew that she mattered; that she was all that mattered. She was life; death; Kali, as her hippie cousins would put it. She hated it, she...
She misses it.
She can’t breathe. Horrified, her head pounding, she stumbles blindly to her feet.
Stephen Daker rises, involuntarily. Knocking over his chair.
- Are you... I say, is she all right?
Tegan stops thinking and starts to run.
- Ah, says the Doctor slowly. - Well. That’s why we’re here, really. Tell me about this McCannon chap, will you? I’d rather like him to look her over.
*****
In the cold, fresh air, Tegan runs, just runs, for a long time. Until she stops on a small bridge, doubled over and out of breath. Not crying. Bloody well not bloody crying.
- Bastards!
She's startled by a sudden laugh beside her; turns to find the other doctor, the redhead, leaning on the bridge rail. She does her best to pull herself together; to look like the Open Learner she’s supposed to be.
- That sounded ...heartfelt.
- It’s nothing. I’m sorry.
- ‘Nothing’ is a male concept, Tegan. In my experience they use it to mean ‘inconvenient female’.
- Too bloody right. Tegan can’t help but smile. - I’ve forgotten your name.
- Rose Marie.
Rose Marie’s voice is warm and rich. Like honey. Like Dukkha’s.
- I don’t mind listening, if...?
More than fed up, Tegan tells her better judgement to get rooted.
- It’s just... I'll take you home, he says. He can't even manage something that simple. If it’s not monsters or maniacs it’s a bloody Pommy university. No offence.
- None taken, smiles Rose Marie. - I can see that you find this all terribly intimidating.
- No... I just want to go home.
It’s so true, it’s shocking.
- Class is an illusion maintained by the phallocracy. Refute it. Refuse it. You've as much right to be here as anyone else.
- I know that, says Tegan crossly, rubbing her eyes.
In the distance, two nuns strip and jump eagerly into the river.
- This place is bloody bananas.
- The world is bananas, Tegan. But Lowlands exists to help you stake your place in it. Let it help you. Let us help you.
- I don’t need help. It's... it’s just awfully nice to stop.
- You’re not well, are you?
- No. I mean yes, but... Oh, rabbits. There was this snake in my head, and... Oh, what's the use. You wouldn't understand.
- On the contrary, says Rose Marie smoothly, her eyes lighting up. - I understand very well. She leans forward, gazing out over the river with her soft and practised smile. - If I were to say to you: what we call illness is one of the things men do to women...?
- I'd say you sound like the bloody Doctor.
- Ah, Stephen’s new friend. And just what is he a Doctor of?
- Nothing. I don't know. He just is.
- I see. Rose Marie smiles, gently.
- It's hard to explain.
- Of course. And does he understand?
- It’s just like he’s not listening, you know? No, not hearing. That’s it.
- Are you sure that there’s a difference?
Tegan looks at the river. - I don’t want to leave. Really. It’s just...
- Theoretically close relationships often leave women feeling alone.
Tegan leans against the bridge, suddenly very tired.
- It’s not like that... There’s just nobody to bloody talk to. Adric and Nyssa... they’re just kids.
- So you feel responsible?
- No fear. Tegan laughs, wryly. - I don't even understand what they're on about half the time.
- Inadequacy, murmurs Rose Marie. To herself, almost. - The maternal lie.
- No way. They're just heaps brighter than me.
- Oh Tegan, Tegan, Tegan...
- Well, they are. Tegan bristles, defensively. - Like the Doctor says, it’s just the way things are.
- As the Doctor says. Yes. I’d be intimidated too.
- I’m not frightened of anything, thank you.
- Not with your ...Doctor... to look after you.
- Yes! I mean no. I mean...
And she’s bloody well bloody crying after all, and when Rose Marie takes her arm and shepherds her toward the medical centre, she can’t help but follow.
- I’m sorry, she sniffs. -- It’s just... I had a life, you know? I used to be... someone. Someone else.
- Oh, I know, I know, says Rose Marie, pulling her close. - You’ve come to the right place, Tegan...
==========
(c) arjuna 2005
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Someone left the gate open.
TITLE: Hegemony
AUTHOR: kel
EMAIL: bessie@goldweb.com.au
FEEDBACK: aye
FANDOM: Doctor Who/A Very Peculiar Practice
PAIRING: Tegan/Rose Marie
SPOILERS: For Kinda
RATING: FRT-13
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: slash, ficlet
ARCHIVE: Fabulae
SUMMARY: post-Mara depression’s a bitch
FOR: snowgrouse
==========
Hegemony
==========
Lowlands canteen is crowded and noisy. Tegan hates it. Hates the students with their self-important smiles, their absolute confidence that they, and only they, will conquer the world. There’s nothing wrong with being a hostie, she tells herself. At least I’ve been somewhere. This lot...
This lot have friends. Lovers. Opportunities.
She looks around at Adric - eating, again. Nothing else exists for him, when there’s food. The Doctor would say it was fascinating; the legacy of orphanhood. Tegan would say his table manners suck. Nyssa’s vanished, blended into the crowd of New Wave wannabes at the biochemistry table. Which just leaves her and the pointyhead and...
- I thought you looked familiar, says the Doctor, her Doctor, to the man opposite. Cheerfully. - I should be used to it by now.
- There are others?
- Yes and no. It’s a bit difficult...
- Statistically, very simple! says Chen, slapping them both on the back. -- Big world, many doppelgangers. Marvellous! And useful when militia come.
Tegan looks pointedly from her Doctor to Daker, and back. They’re laughing, a beaming Chen between them. They’re nearly identical. Not just physically: diffident, quiet, gently melancholic. But she can tell them apart easily enough. It’s not just the clothes, or the Burmese boyfriend, or the ‘I’m talking to a loonie’ look on the face of the Earthman...
She knows that look all too well. It’s the way the others look at her, now. Ever since Deva Loka, they’ve treated her with kid gloves. She’s not stupid enough to think it’s compassion. She’s an interesting specimen, that’s all. An ape in remission.
Someone on the radio screams about the Master of Puppets.
She can still feel the power, the certainty, of the Mara. Of those few wonderful hours when she knew that she mattered; that she was all that mattered. She was life; death; Kali, as her hippie cousins would put it. She hated it, she...
She misses it.
She can’t breathe. Horrified, her head pounding, she stumbles blindly to her feet.
Stephen Daker rises, involuntarily. Knocking over his chair.
- Are you... I say, is she all right?
Tegan stops thinking and starts to run.
- Ah, says the Doctor slowly. - Well. That’s why we’re here, really. Tell me about this McCannon chap, will you? I’d rather like him to look her over.
*****
In the cold, fresh air, Tegan runs, just runs, for a long time. Until she stops on a small bridge, doubled over and out of breath. Not crying. Bloody well not bloody crying.
- Bastards!
She's startled by a sudden laugh beside her; turns to find the other doctor, the redhead, leaning on the bridge rail. She does her best to pull herself together; to look like the Open Learner she’s supposed to be.
- That sounded ...heartfelt.
- It’s nothing. I’m sorry.
- ‘Nothing’ is a male concept, Tegan. In my experience they use it to mean ‘inconvenient female’.
- Too bloody right. Tegan can’t help but smile. - I’ve forgotten your name.
- Rose Marie.
Rose Marie’s voice is warm and rich. Like honey. Like Dukkha’s.
- I don’t mind listening, if...?
More than fed up, Tegan tells her better judgement to get rooted.
- It’s just... I'll take you home, he says. He can't even manage something that simple. If it’s not monsters or maniacs it’s a bloody Pommy university. No offence.
- None taken, smiles Rose Marie. - I can see that you find this all terribly intimidating.
- No... I just want to go home.
It’s so true, it’s shocking.
- Class is an illusion maintained by the phallocracy. Refute it. Refuse it. You've as much right to be here as anyone else.
- I know that, says Tegan crossly, rubbing her eyes.
In the distance, two nuns strip and jump eagerly into the river.
- This place is bloody bananas.
- The world is bananas, Tegan. But Lowlands exists to help you stake your place in it. Let it help you. Let us help you.
- I don’t need help. It's... it’s just awfully nice to stop.
- You’re not well, are you?
- No. I mean yes, but... Oh, rabbits. There was this snake in my head, and... Oh, what's the use. You wouldn't understand.
- On the contrary, says Rose Marie smoothly, her eyes lighting up. - I understand very well. She leans forward, gazing out over the river with her soft and practised smile. - If I were to say to you: what we call illness is one of the things men do to women...?
- I'd say you sound like the bloody Doctor.
- Ah, Stephen’s new friend. And just what is he a Doctor of?
- Nothing. I don't know. He just is.
- I see. Rose Marie smiles, gently.
- It's hard to explain.
- Of course. And does he understand?
- It’s just like he’s not listening, you know? No, not hearing. That’s it.
- Are you sure that there’s a difference?
Tegan looks at the river. - I don’t want to leave. Really. It’s just...
- Theoretically close relationships often leave women feeling alone.
Tegan leans against the bridge, suddenly very tired.
- It’s not like that... There’s just nobody to bloody talk to. Adric and Nyssa... they’re just kids.
- So you feel responsible?
- No fear. Tegan laughs, wryly. - I don't even understand what they're on about half the time.
- Inadequacy, murmurs Rose Marie. To herself, almost. - The maternal lie.
- No way. They're just heaps brighter than me.
- Oh Tegan, Tegan, Tegan...
- Well, they are. Tegan bristles, defensively. - Like the Doctor says, it’s just the way things are.
- As the Doctor says. Yes. I’d be intimidated too.
- I’m not frightened of anything, thank you.
- Not with your ...Doctor... to look after you.
- Yes! I mean no. I mean...
And she’s bloody well bloody crying after all, and when Rose Marie takes her arm and shepherds her toward the medical centre, she can’t help but follow.
- I’m sorry, she sniffs. -- It’s just... I had a life, you know? I used to be... someone. Someone else.
- Oh, I know, I know, says Rose Marie, pulling her close. - You’ve come to the right place, Tegan...
==========
(c) arjuna 2005