How MUCH do I want it...?
So I have performed a new task at work for several nights now: sweeping the floors in casepick. Casepick promoted some of the cleaners, while others were let go. The ultimate outcome being, the ‘other’ part of Peyton’s has been low on people to keep the floors nice and tidy for the pickers on trucks and forklifts.
I have my suspicions on why I was ‘selected’ for this, and while this…low mental strength…task is one more reason to leave soon, the sweeping HAS provided a benefit. Without a computer in my ear constantly nagging and ordering me around, I have several hours to myself. Setting my own pace, my own goals, and able to THINK and brood and ponder.
The last time I swept, my mind revolved around Babylon 5. Particularly, the two questions the characters answer (sometimes more than once) during the show’s run. “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” I know who I am. I know my strengths, weaknesses, and extant of my capabilities. But what I actually WANT…
My business training in economics took that question and reformatted it. For me, it became “How MUCH do you want it?” I WANT a better job. But how MUCH do I want it? I found what I truly want is for the ideal job to just pop up, and fall in my lap. I do NOT want the change BAD enough to spend time filling out just one application every day to somewhere else.
Bit of a shock, seeing that despite my adamant desire to leave, I have made little progress in actually MAKING that happen.
I WANT to be healthier. But until this month, I only investigated the area fitness centers once. And then grew too busy to examine membership rates and offerings. Currently, while attendance is not perfect yet, I AM taking time to run and lift.
I WANT more friends my age. But, said friends are no longer just a walk down the hallway. I have to spend energy GOING to places, and actively LOOKING for opportunities to form relationships. Crowds of Christians no longer surround me. The college small group at church I have joined…every time before I leave I have to ask myself “Do I want this ENOUGH to spend the travel time/gas money on the road, and the energy to form connections with this group?”
I have found there is a difference being waiting and expecting. My room is a clear example. I rarely clean it anymore. There are STILL boxes of college stuff sitting in the loft, waiting for me to decide how to store it. Now, if I really WANTED to leave home, I should have a plan of what goes, what stays, and have the boxes ready to pack. I should be ready to take off at a moment’s notice. I am in a state of WAITING for something to happen…but not EXPECTING anything to happen. If the job I wanted opened tomorrow, and they hired me on the spot, I am nowhere NEAR prepared to go.
The library job search has shown…SOME fruit. The two positions I am focusing on are found in South Bend and Indy.
The South Bend job pros:
-Close enough to Grandparents’ home that I could stay there, saving money on renting an apartment
-Close enough to Bethel that I could make new Christian friends in a college setting
-Close enough to Bethel’s library that I can have a religous academic library’s materials at my disposal again (helpful having rows and rows of commentaries during Bible studies!)
-The high end of the pay scale would be nearly DOUBLE what I am making now. Plus, the part time nature leaves room for even MORE money with a second part time job.
-A church I know of that is thriving and heavily used by college-age believers.
The cons:
-The library is small, out of the way, and probably not visited often, so my ‘on the job learning’ could be limited.
-Even FARTHER from the IUPUI campus, if I want this job longer than a few months. It would mean driving to class every week (though Mom says with the position of the cities and the highway, it would take the exact same time as going to Indy from here).
-THEY HAVE NOT CALLED YET TO SET AN INTERVIEW.
The Indy job pros:
-The exact type of work I want to do when schooling is finished.
-Closer to IUPUI’s campus.
-In a ‘richer’ part of town, networking would prove beneficial.
-A heavily used library, that has shown wise decisions in acquisitions and programming as new trends have developed.
Cons:
-Not a good idea of where I would live. Could stay with family, but no guarantee how long that would last.
-Would HAVE to find a second job (to pay the bills) that could tolerate how my hours would change from month to month.
My interview at the Indy job was yesterday. That went SO MUCH better than the last time I was there for a previous opening. We spent an HOUR talking about me, the job, questions and answers. Heh, they asked one question that was new for me. I am paraphrasing what they asked, but having noted I would be working with young people from middle to high school, and I am a cute looking guy, what would I do if some young ladies hit on me during work? ;-) I said I would take it as a compliment, but that anything FURTHER was likely ILLEGAL. :-P
Graphic novel - Essential Fantastic Four #3 by Stan Lee
1961 saw the beginning of the Marvel Age of Comics with the “birth” of Marvel’s First Family. Mysterious cosmic rays bombard four courageous explorers testing an experimental spacecraft. They emerge with amazing abilities and herald a new era.
Using their powers to protect mankind, they are the Fantastic Four, and there’s no one else like them on Earth!
Quotes from Essential Fantastic Four #3:
-Johnny Storm: (I must have really been daydreaming! Look where I ended up! This is that slum neighborhood that’s gonna be torn down to make way for a new housing development!) [Sees Crystal] (WOW! I must be SEEING things! What’s a vision like THAT doing in a deserted neighborhood! She almost doesn’t even look REAL - sort of like something out of a FAIRY TALE! I hate to be disloyal - but she makes Dorrie Evans look like a BOY!)
-Reed Richards: I’ll try to break them up, honey! YOU see if you can find the TRANQUILIZER GUN!
-Susan Richards: Don’t get too NEAR them, darling--!
-Reed: Stop sounding like a WIFE and find me that gun, lady!
[Regarding Galactus]
-Human Torch: He took the worst I could toss at him without blinking an eye… …then he stopped me dead in my tracks without half trying! What chance can Earth HAVE against someone like HIM? How do we FIGHT him? How can we STOP him?? Look at him NOW!! He turned his BACK to me…I’m beneath his NOTICE! The same way I’D ignore a FLEA, after I’d brushed it away!
Arjayen
I have my suspicions on why I was ‘selected’ for this, and while this…low mental strength…task is one more reason to leave soon, the sweeping HAS provided a benefit. Without a computer in my ear constantly nagging and ordering me around, I have several hours to myself. Setting my own pace, my own goals, and able to THINK and brood and ponder.
The last time I swept, my mind revolved around Babylon 5. Particularly, the two questions the characters answer (sometimes more than once) during the show’s run. “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” I know who I am. I know my strengths, weaknesses, and extant of my capabilities. But what I actually WANT…
My business training in economics took that question and reformatted it. For me, it became “How MUCH do you want it?” I WANT a better job. But how MUCH do I want it? I found what I truly want is for the ideal job to just pop up, and fall in my lap. I do NOT want the change BAD enough to spend time filling out just one application every day to somewhere else.
Bit of a shock, seeing that despite my adamant desire to leave, I have made little progress in actually MAKING that happen.
I WANT to be healthier. But until this month, I only investigated the area fitness centers once. And then grew too busy to examine membership rates and offerings. Currently, while attendance is not perfect yet, I AM taking time to run and lift.
I WANT more friends my age. But, said friends are no longer just a walk down the hallway. I have to spend energy GOING to places, and actively LOOKING for opportunities to form relationships. Crowds of Christians no longer surround me. The college small group at church I have joined…every time before I leave I have to ask myself “Do I want this ENOUGH to spend the travel time/gas money on the road, and the energy to form connections with this group?”
I have found there is a difference being waiting and expecting. My room is a clear example. I rarely clean it anymore. There are STILL boxes of college stuff sitting in the loft, waiting for me to decide how to store it. Now, if I really WANTED to leave home, I should have a plan of what goes, what stays, and have the boxes ready to pack. I should be ready to take off at a moment’s notice. I am in a state of WAITING for something to happen…but not EXPECTING anything to happen. If the job I wanted opened tomorrow, and they hired me on the spot, I am nowhere NEAR prepared to go.
The library job search has shown…SOME fruit. The two positions I am focusing on are found in South Bend and Indy.
The South Bend job pros:
-Close enough to Grandparents’ home that I could stay there, saving money on renting an apartment
-Close enough to Bethel that I could make new Christian friends in a college setting
-Close enough to Bethel’s library that I can have a religous academic library’s materials at my disposal again (helpful having rows and rows of commentaries during Bible studies!)
-The high end of the pay scale would be nearly DOUBLE what I am making now. Plus, the part time nature leaves room for even MORE money with a second part time job.
-A church I know of that is thriving and heavily used by college-age believers.
The cons:
-The library is small, out of the way, and probably not visited often, so my ‘on the job learning’ could be limited.
-Even FARTHER from the IUPUI campus, if I want this job longer than a few months. It would mean driving to class every week (though Mom says with the position of the cities and the highway, it would take the exact same time as going to Indy from here).
-THEY HAVE NOT CALLED YET TO SET AN INTERVIEW.
The Indy job pros:
-The exact type of work I want to do when schooling is finished.
-Closer to IUPUI’s campus.
-In a ‘richer’ part of town, networking would prove beneficial.
-A heavily used library, that has shown wise decisions in acquisitions and programming as new trends have developed.
Cons:
-Not a good idea of where I would live. Could stay with family, but no guarantee how long that would last.
-Would HAVE to find a second job (to pay the bills) that could tolerate how my hours would change from month to month.
My interview at the Indy job was yesterday. That went SO MUCH better than the last time I was there for a previous opening. We spent an HOUR talking about me, the job, questions and answers. Heh, they asked one question that was new for me. I am paraphrasing what they asked, but having noted I would be working with young people from middle to high school, and I am a cute looking guy, what would I do if some young ladies hit on me during work? ;-) I said I would take it as a compliment, but that anything FURTHER was likely ILLEGAL. :-P
Graphic novel - Essential Fantastic Four #3 by Stan Lee
1961 saw the beginning of the Marvel Age of Comics with the “birth” of Marvel’s First Family. Mysterious cosmic rays bombard four courageous explorers testing an experimental spacecraft. They emerge with amazing abilities and herald a new era.
Using their powers to protect mankind, they are the Fantastic Four, and there’s no one else like them on Earth!
Quotes from Essential Fantastic Four #3:
-Johnny Storm: (I must have really been daydreaming! Look where I ended up! This is that slum neighborhood that’s gonna be torn down to make way for a new housing development!) [Sees Crystal] (WOW! I must be SEEING things! What’s a vision like THAT doing in a deserted neighborhood! She almost doesn’t even look REAL - sort of like something out of a FAIRY TALE! I hate to be disloyal - but she makes Dorrie Evans look like a BOY!)
-Reed Richards: I’ll try to break them up, honey! YOU see if you can find the TRANQUILIZER GUN!
-Susan Richards: Don’t get too NEAR them, darling--!
-Reed: Stop sounding like a WIFE and find me that gun, lady!
[Regarding Galactus]
-Human Torch: He took the worst I could toss at him without blinking an eye… …then he stopped me dead in my tracks without half trying! What chance can Earth HAVE against someone like HIM? How do we FIGHT him? How can we STOP him?? Look at him NOW!! He turned his BACK to me…I’m beneath his NOTICE! The same way I’D ignore a FLEA, after I’d brushed it away!
Arjayen