9/29/05
I don't know what it is with the late posts this week... but here I am.... in my comfortable lonliness...where I wait...I sit here and I wait for him to come back from work. I don't know what keeps me from falling asleep.... No..no I do know... I just want to be here for when he gets back, I want to be awake, to hold him after a long night of work and to comfort him into a sleep we both deserve to have....together. Lately...I can't stop thinking about him at all... I'm always anticipating the littlest of things.. the tiniest moments I have with him...they rejuvinate my feelings...my view of the day as a whole.
I love the way you always wake before me....and you are so quiet as to not wake me...but as soon as my door closes, no matter how quiet you shut it... I sit up in bed because I realize you're gone... Then I look to the clock and see that you've reset the time for me to sleep abit longer... You are just so respectful...so sweet in everything you do for me, and every day I wake up I am always smiling to the fact that you care for me so much...
You've helped to make who I am today....and I see that I have helped to make you who you are as well... Back almost 2 yrs ago now.... Sure we moved quick...I was and still am that kind of girl.. I have no shame, (but now it's all for you of course), and.. you were so shy....so...churchy..so...innocent...things I haven't been for years....and I never pushed you, I wanted you to want me..I didn't want to make the same mistakes and make you only lust me. I don't even feel lustful anymore..I used to, and it was quite powerful....hurting good friends in the process... I've been forgiven, I have such good friends and I know that I've gotten past that point in my life. I almost don't remember those days in the dark....I feel like I've been set free...
Sure, I'm still a lush, I am not afraid to admit it. I always liked my liquor and I still do... I can live without it, but sometimes it's just fun to loosen up and it also helps one fall asleep if you're an insomniac like I have been...
As each word I type...I wonder where in this post I will be when you walk in the door.. I wonder if you're thinking about me at this moment...no I know you are. I know you're wondering when the hell you can get out of work and just go to bed. I can almost hear you say it.
I think it's absolutely beautiful....the way we miss eachother so much for our short times we depart... and it's beautiful because we're so happy together, all the little moments make all the bigger things much more special.... and while this post might seem as though I worship you, it's not that at all... I just feel so thankful that we have eachother, that I've finally reached a point in my life where I've met YOU.
This is why I love time by myself...time to just sit...think about life...it's therapudic for me in ways you will never know. I never feel alone when I'm physically alone...how can I when you are in my thoughts? How could I possibly sit here and feel alone knowing that my heart is encompassed in these feelings for you? Memories we'll always have....
I love how you think of us as Romeo and Juliet...that day we talked about how sick you got once... and I layed in bed with you and I told you "well...if you die...I die, so don't die" and you smiled at me...hugged me and said in that soft grateful tone of yours and said "...if you died I would die too... we're just like Romeo and Juliet"
I'm still waiting my love...it's time for sleep.
I love the way you always wake before me....and you are so quiet as to not wake me...but as soon as my door closes, no matter how quiet you shut it... I sit up in bed because I realize you're gone... Then I look to the clock and see that you've reset the time for me to sleep abit longer... You are just so respectful...so sweet in everything you do for me, and every day I wake up I am always smiling to the fact that you care for me so much...
You've helped to make who I am today....and I see that I have helped to make you who you are as well... Back almost 2 yrs ago now.... Sure we moved quick...I was and still am that kind of girl.. I have no shame, (but now it's all for you of course), and.. you were so shy....so...churchy..so...innocent...things I haven't been for years....and I never pushed you, I wanted you to want me..I didn't want to make the same mistakes and make you only lust me. I don't even feel lustful anymore..I used to, and it was quite powerful....hurting good friends in the process... I've been forgiven, I have such good friends and I know that I've gotten past that point in my life. I almost don't remember those days in the dark....I feel like I've been set free...
Sure, I'm still a lush, I am not afraid to admit it. I always liked my liquor and I still do... I can live without it, but sometimes it's just fun to loosen up and it also helps one fall asleep if you're an insomniac like I have been...
As each word I type...I wonder where in this post I will be when you walk in the door.. I wonder if you're thinking about me at this moment...no I know you are. I know you're wondering when the hell you can get out of work and just go to bed. I can almost hear you say it.
I think it's absolutely beautiful....the way we miss eachother so much for our short times we depart... and it's beautiful because we're so happy together, all the little moments make all the bigger things much more special.... and while this post might seem as though I worship you, it's not that at all... I just feel so thankful that we have eachother, that I've finally reached a point in my life where I've met YOU.
This is why I love time by myself...time to just sit...think about life...it's therapudic for me in ways you will never know. I never feel alone when I'm physically alone...how can I when you are in my thoughts? How could I possibly sit here and feel alone knowing that my heart is encompassed in these feelings for you? Memories we'll always have....
I love how you think of us as Romeo and Juliet...that day we talked about how sick you got once... and I layed in bed with you and I told you "well...if you die...I die, so don't die" and you smiled at me...hugged me and said in that soft grateful tone of yours and said "...if you died I would die too... we're just like Romeo and Juliet"
I'm still waiting my love...it's time for sleep.