RECAP
THIS weekend was decent..."..it had not been exactly a day of rapture.NO,it had not even been a day brightened with happiness and joy.Rather,it had been just one of those days,which for a long while now had fallen to my lot;the moderately pleasant, wholly bearable and tolerable,lukewarm days of a discontented middle-aged man;days without despair;days when i calmly wonder,objective and fearless,whether it isn't time to follow the example of Adalbert Stifter and have an accident while shaving." -Steppenwolf
Friday: Mike took Aaron and I job hunting...haha didn't go to well..there are alot of bitchy upset middle-aged overweight ladies,who have turned into control freaks and forgotten their girl-like manners somehow simultaneously as they packed on the pounds,for managers these days.I'd ask for applications and they look at me and Aaron and shake their heads in disgust of something on us,like we were plagued and had lessons on our faces and reeked of contagious disease that she would not feel comfortable going to work and after work bringing home our scent of difference past her white pickett fence where her kids eat bugs and grass and shit their diaper-lined pants.Good for them though,I want no part of mediocrity.But yeah i'm probably going to deep into this..but come on..not only do you have to wear uniforms but you have to look a certain way just to get an application..Seems to me that the once worldwide hated dictator,Adolphe Hitler,was hired at every corporation for employment and payroll purposes.
So we gave up looking through the depths of hell for a job,and Aaron and Mike went to DIM SUM for some food...Go figure they weren't even hiring out of their race.So we bought little ninja guys in the 25cent machines and played with them like little kids who shit in their diaper-lined pants,and it was fun to you know use my imagination for the first time in a while.It seemed i was alot more entertained when i was younger by little things.I miss that.I haven't completely lost it.But i miss the consuming feeling of youth.INVINCIBLE and DUMB.CURIOUS not FEARFULL of CONSEQUENCES.So we went to my house ate.Talked to my mom on the porch for a while and decided we should join the circus that is coming to town shortly..i could shovel elephant shit and Aaron can be the human pretzel in the FREAK SHOW.
Later on Mike had to go home because he had work in the a.m. SO Aaron drove him and I to Haverhill,where we met up with a bunch of friends.And we went to visit Kevin at SNHU.Aaron,Justin,and I smoked a pinner in the car and got there first.Kevin attempted to sneak us in through the gates in his car, but yet again control freaks rule the earth.So Kevin peeled out and back around and out of the gates..We finally snuck in the side of campus.When we got to Kevin's appartment Troy and Jessica were there already drinking.So i put bottoms up while i examined the room.it was like a lobby type livingroom with 3 conjoined dormrooms that held two beds in each.So finally at about my 5th our friends that we met at the space showed up with others they had met up with and more beer.So time moved fast forawhileasikeptdrinkingandplayingguitarinthebedroomanddancingtomusicandhugginmyfriendsandblahblahblahuntil finally i was really drunk now with someone running in the room saying that Aaron had got in trouble outside.So i went out and gave Brian a pen and paper to take down the public safety officer's name incase we got pulled over for driving.So Aaron called me and told me to meet him in the parking lot.So Allen,Eric and I ran with some beer to the parking lot.stopping for hugs from girls.Then we went on the hill near the parking lot and started finishing off the 6 pack Allen had.Another Public Safety was in the parking lot giving tickets to all the cars.Allen and Eric hopped the fence and ran across the baseball field.I was to drunk to move at this point and hoped that the beer i had jsut chugged would give me invisible powers.He told me to get my friends or the cops were going to be called.."Eric it's ok they jsut want to talk.",was slurred across the field into the woods.I could hear him in a whispered yell saying"OK" haha.The Public Safety showed us who's boss and went along with the ControlFreaks of earth being the main characters of the movie that was the day with a theme of i am just a helpless 20 year old and that i should just give in instead of getting in trouble all the time.So Brian ran back and drove us home.All I could think about is how i've recently lost alot and that it is getting to the point where shit that used to seem thick just amuses me.I fear that the only break in the wave that is of late,will be the top of a tsunami and wipe out my entire town with one of my breakdowns.But Julie called and said she was coming up tommorrow from Conneticut.So there was hope to sleep with.
SATURDAY: i woke up to my alarm i set so i could call Regis and we could go apple picking and forget the depression fall brings and indulge in the activities that surround Autumn.I don't know why i've always feared fall.Maybe just memories.Good memories equal bad longings.So she picked me up and it was a beautiful day.I couldn't help but smile most of the ride.I hadn't ever hung out with Regis just her and I in the 3 years i've known her.We got a "PECK" which i found really comical for some reason.and we commenced picking.She'll even tell you this i'm not good at much but shining the apples with my shirt and eating the apples.I just felt bad for the little apples and the dying ones on the ground..i can't jsut pick the biggest ripest ones at the top of the tree closest to the sun.haha i'm soo weird.Then Julie called and we met her at Burger King.I spotted her Buick Regal from the street but i didn't see her outside soo we drove around the parking lot.Then i saw her.I remembered her.Vaguely.But i remembered her lips and yellowish eyes so pretty and original with spark that lit up her whole face,fair but teased around the jaw and edges of her face by the sun.The way her waist went in real skinny just to go out a little bit to her hips cried for my hands.I was careful when i talked not to say the wrong things.But she smiled warmer then the sun and i felt comfortable.I drove with her and Regis followed in her mom's navy volvo behind us as we drove to my house to make a pie.And the pie came out good because of Regis and my mom mostlikely haha.I almost made Regis vomit with the knife swinging i was doing..She was afraid i was going to chop my finger off.I'm glad someone cared.We ate the pie with ice cream and it tasted like a holiday.Then watched a movie.Regis said she had to leave.But i guess talked to my mom for an hour on the porch.haha.Me and Julie were kinda tired so we went in my bed and watched Donnie Darko.She decided she had to go home because she had told her mom she was elsewhere and she felt bad.I was kinda upset but i understood.
This day was probably the weirdest of the weekend.I had hung out with two girls.That sounds normal.But recently I have hated girls for the wrong reasons.Well probably because of this summer and what happened.But i really like hanging out with these girls.And i think that me and Regis started a lifelong friendship i hope.And i think i have a crush.And i trust both of them.
So Julie drove me to Haverhill.She pulled me close and we said our goodbyes.i breathed in and held her shampoo in my nose all night.and she left...
Aaron,Brian,and Colleen came out of the building and COLLEEN bought me WENDYS....Thank you colleen i owe you one.and we went to brian's and drank.and sean came.that kid and i are weird.i have this weird connection with him.both of our minds cry the same song.soo we got completely drunk haha.and aaron and i waited til aaron was sober enough to drive to leave.and on the ride home all i could think about was Julie.and i hope she made it home alright.and i wish she stayed.
Sunday: was my mom's bday.I love my mom.i can talk to her and i'm glad because some mom's can't talk to their kids about much.i could say anything to my mom and she'd understand.My dad forgot to get her candles for her cake.haha so i held up some matches as they sang and she blew them out..everyone laughed and my my mom smiled..and i was happy.
Aaron came over and we went to see Joe at the space.but i guess we were evicted but arent anymore blah blah bullshit.But then we went to Dk's dorm in Lowell, Mass and got shot at.haha.I miss Derrick F.I dunno.
Just been reading alot.Chilling out.Call my Cell if you have my number and hangout
Friday: Mike took Aaron and I job hunting...haha didn't go to well..there are alot of bitchy upset middle-aged overweight ladies,who have turned into control freaks and forgotten their girl-like manners somehow simultaneously as they packed on the pounds,for managers these days.I'd ask for applications and they look at me and Aaron and shake their heads in disgust of something on us,like we were plagued and had lessons on our faces and reeked of contagious disease that she would not feel comfortable going to work and after work bringing home our scent of difference past her white pickett fence where her kids eat bugs and grass and shit their diaper-lined pants.Good for them though,I want no part of mediocrity.But yeah i'm probably going to deep into this..but come on..not only do you have to wear uniforms but you have to look a certain way just to get an application..Seems to me that the once worldwide hated dictator,Adolphe Hitler,was hired at every corporation for employment and payroll purposes.
So we gave up looking through the depths of hell for a job,and Aaron and Mike went to DIM SUM for some food...Go figure they weren't even hiring out of their race.So we bought little ninja guys in the 25cent machines and played with them like little kids who shit in their diaper-lined pants,and it was fun to you know use my imagination for the first time in a while.It seemed i was alot more entertained when i was younger by little things.I miss that.I haven't completely lost it.But i miss the consuming feeling of youth.INVINCIBLE and DUMB.CURIOUS not FEARFULL of CONSEQUENCES.So we went to my house ate.Talked to my mom on the porch for a while and decided we should join the circus that is coming to town shortly..i could shovel elephant shit and Aaron can be the human pretzel in the FREAK SHOW.
Later on Mike had to go home because he had work in the a.m. SO Aaron drove him and I to Haverhill,where we met up with a bunch of friends.And we went to visit Kevin at SNHU.Aaron,Justin,and I smoked a pinner in the car and got there first.Kevin attempted to sneak us in through the gates in his car, but yet again control freaks rule the earth.So Kevin peeled out and back around and out of the gates..We finally snuck in the side of campus.When we got to Kevin's appartment Troy and Jessica were there already drinking.So i put bottoms up while i examined the room.it was like a lobby type livingroom with 3 conjoined dormrooms that held two beds in each.So finally at about my 5th our friends that we met at the space showed up with others they had met up with and more beer.So time moved fast forawhileasikeptdrinkingandplayingguitarinthebedroomanddancingtomusicandhugginmyfriendsandblahblahblahuntil finally i was really drunk now with someone running in the room saying that Aaron had got in trouble outside.So i went out and gave Brian a pen and paper to take down the public safety officer's name incase we got pulled over for driving.So Aaron called me and told me to meet him in the parking lot.So Allen,Eric and I ran with some beer to the parking lot.stopping for hugs from girls.Then we went on the hill near the parking lot and started finishing off the 6 pack Allen had.Another Public Safety was in the parking lot giving tickets to all the cars.Allen and Eric hopped the fence and ran across the baseball field.I was to drunk to move at this point and hoped that the beer i had jsut chugged would give me invisible powers.He told me to get my friends or the cops were going to be called.."Eric it's ok they jsut want to talk.",was slurred across the field into the woods.I could hear him in a whispered yell saying"OK" haha.The Public Safety showed us who's boss and went along with the ControlFreaks of earth being the main characters of the movie that was the day with a theme of i am just a helpless 20 year old and that i should just give in instead of getting in trouble all the time.So Brian ran back and drove us home.All I could think about is how i've recently lost alot and that it is getting to the point where shit that used to seem thick just amuses me.I fear that the only break in the wave that is of late,will be the top of a tsunami and wipe out my entire town with one of my breakdowns.But Julie called and said she was coming up tommorrow from Conneticut.So there was hope to sleep with.
SATURDAY: i woke up to my alarm i set so i could call Regis and we could go apple picking and forget the depression fall brings and indulge in the activities that surround Autumn.I don't know why i've always feared fall.Maybe just memories.Good memories equal bad longings.So she picked me up and it was a beautiful day.I couldn't help but smile most of the ride.I hadn't ever hung out with Regis just her and I in the 3 years i've known her.We got a "PECK" which i found really comical for some reason.and we commenced picking.She'll even tell you this i'm not good at much but shining the apples with my shirt and eating the apples.I just felt bad for the little apples and the dying ones on the ground..i can't jsut pick the biggest ripest ones at the top of the tree closest to the sun.haha i'm soo weird.Then Julie called and we met her at Burger King.I spotted her Buick Regal from the street but i didn't see her outside soo we drove around the parking lot.Then i saw her.I remembered her.Vaguely.But i remembered her lips and yellowish eyes so pretty and original with spark that lit up her whole face,fair but teased around the jaw and edges of her face by the sun.The way her waist went in real skinny just to go out a little bit to her hips cried for my hands.I was careful when i talked not to say the wrong things.But she smiled warmer then the sun and i felt comfortable.I drove with her and Regis followed in her mom's navy volvo behind us as we drove to my house to make a pie.And the pie came out good because of Regis and my mom mostlikely haha.I almost made Regis vomit with the knife swinging i was doing..She was afraid i was going to chop my finger off.I'm glad someone cared.We ate the pie with ice cream and it tasted like a holiday.Then watched a movie.Regis said she had to leave.But i guess talked to my mom for an hour on the porch.haha.Me and Julie were kinda tired so we went in my bed and watched Donnie Darko.She decided she had to go home because she had told her mom she was elsewhere and she felt bad.I was kinda upset but i understood.
This day was probably the weirdest of the weekend.I had hung out with two girls.That sounds normal.But recently I have hated girls for the wrong reasons.Well probably because of this summer and what happened.But i really like hanging out with these girls.And i think that me and Regis started a lifelong friendship i hope.And i think i have a crush.And i trust both of them.
So Julie drove me to Haverhill.She pulled me close and we said our goodbyes.i breathed in and held her shampoo in my nose all night.and she left...
Aaron,Brian,and Colleen came out of the building and COLLEEN bought me WENDYS....Thank you colleen i owe you one.and we went to brian's and drank.and sean came.that kid and i are weird.i have this weird connection with him.both of our minds cry the same song.soo we got completely drunk haha.and aaron and i waited til aaron was sober enough to drive to leave.and on the ride home all i could think about was Julie.and i hope she made it home alright.and i wish she stayed.
Sunday: was my mom's bday.I love my mom.i can talk to her and i'm glad because some mom's can't talk to their kids about much.i could say anything to my mom and she'd understand.My dad forgot to get her candles for her cake.haha so i held up some matches as they sang and she blew them out..everyone laughed and my my mom smiled..and i was happy.
Aaron came over and we went to see Joe at the space.but i guess we were evicted but arent anymore blah blah bullshit.But then we went to Dk's dorm in Lowell, Mass and got shot at.haha.I miss Derrick F.I dunno.
Just been reading alot.Chilling out.Call my Cell if you have my number and hangout