we both know it's best if i just leave......
i thought of you today. yet again. it just makes me so angry.....thinking of you. it makes me feel so helpless. infuriated. hurt. extremely hurt. you were a friend. and friends aren't supposed to hurt one another. especially like that.
i thought of you today. i'm not supposed to. i tell myself that this time, i won't cry. this time will be different. i tell myself that you're not worth a single drop. that it's not worth the effort. that you're not worth the effort. that you weren't worth the effort.
i thought of you today. and i told my heart not to break all over again. i told myself not to wither when i smelled your cologne at work the other day. wither.....like the magnolias you picked for me. wither.....the way we did.
i thought of you today. when i did, my heart filled w/black. pure black hatred for you. for not being there.....for leaving the way you did. like a coward. like the coward you are. you want me to forgive and forget.....i ask you how, when i can't forget what i did. when i can't forgive myself for hurting you.
i thought of you today. i wanted to die. just purely, simply lay down and die. it kills me that we can't talk. it kills me to know it's my fault. i just want to die some days. it kills me how you don't miss me. it kills me how you think i was the only one in it.
i thought of you today. so i let it out. little by little. until i just sobbed it out. i just let the pain fall from my eyes, and down my face. a face you used to know. a face i used to know. when the tears finally stopped flowing, i remember all over again. what you did. what's been said since then. and how much it hurts. and how much i really hate you. and how much i really hate me. so i start all over again.
i thought of you today.....
i thought of you today. i'm not supposed to. i tell myself that this time, i won't cry. this time will be different. i tell myself that you're not worth a single drop. that it's not worth the effort. that you're not worth the effort. that you weren't worth the effort.
i thought of you today. and i told my heart not to break all over again. i told myself not to wither when i smelled your cologne at work the other day. wither.....like the magnolias you picked for me. wither.....the way we did.
i thought of you today. when i did, my heart filled w/black. pure black hatred for you. for not being there.....for leaving the way you did. like a coward. like the coward you are. you want me to forgive and forget.....i ask you how, when i can't forget what i did. when i can't forgive myself for hurting you.
i thought of you today. i wanted to die. just purely, simply lay down and die. it kills me that we can't talk. it kills me to know it's my fault. i just want to die some days. it kills me how you don't miss me. it kills me how you think i was the only one in it.
i thought of you today. so i let it out. little by little. until i just sobbed it out. i just let the pain fall from my eyes, and down my face. a face you used to know. a face i used to know. when the tears finally stopped flowing, i remember all over again. what you did. what's been said since then. and how much it hurts. and how much i really hate you. and how much i really hate me. so i start all over again.
i thought of you today.....