More story.
I just keep writing lately. Dunno.
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It was a hot, still summer day; not a breath of a breeze stirred the sultry air. She'd sent him away, more out of respect for his modesty than any sense of her own, as she was too uncomfortably warm to care. She wiped the beads of sweat from her brow and wriggled out of her shoes, wading in up to the ankle. It was a small pond compared to some of the lakes she'd seen, but she still wouldn't ahve been able to swim across it. Finding that the water temperature was chilly enough to give her goosebumps, she smiled widely and shucked off the rest of her clothes. Clad in only the sunshine beaming down through the sparse, cottony clouds, she seemed entirely unselfconscious as she moved deeper into the water, teeth chattering.
He had left at her request, but he hadn't gone far, feeling some unease at the thought of her swimming without a lifeguard ...or something like that. He found a spot a few yards into the trees, where he could sit and not be seen. He kept himself well occupied for a few minutes, but, bit by bit, his curiosity overcame his propriety. His first tentative peep melted into a continuous, helpless gaze. His body performed its natural reaction to a sight like that, but that wasn't what caught his breath in his throat and held him riveted.
She'd decided the water was too chill to jump in all at once, and so remained only calf-deep, swishing and splashing in the shallows. The sun set her aglow, highlighting the simple enjoyment on her features from such an angle that she seemed to be a child again, for a moment. He found himself oddly fixated on the color of her skin - a pale, pale cream, shading gradually to light brown on her arms and legs. The skin was smooth, speckled with freckles. He watched as she drew courage, took a deep breath, and dunked her entire self underwater, surfacing a heartbeat later, to give voice to a whooping yell.
The water sheeted off of her young body, still unaware of the rigors of time and children and lack of exercise. Her legs and arms were toned, firm, her belly flat, her small breasts pert. She looked well-fleshed at first glance, but closer inspection showed a thinness about the wrists and hips, giving her a hint of...fragility. Her limbs still bore that odd, gawky grace that spoke of the growing she had yet to do. Technically, a woman, but still a girlchild, nonetheless. A small, fond smile curled his mouth as he watched her childlike antics.
She knew he was there, watching; she sensed it, and she didn't mind. She was actually sort of glad. She trusted him completely, more than she trusted herself, and wryly suspected that he upheld more honor than she ever had. Besides, it made her feel...safe...to know that he was right there, keeping an eye on her. She finally dove in, despite the cold, and the water felt good against her skin...when she surfaced again she turned her face to the warming rays of the sun, floating gently on her back, and closed her eyes. It was a hot, still summer day; not a breath of a breeze stirred the sultry air, and she smiled.
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Now for the person. I'm in an unconscionably foul mood, and I don't really know why.
Roger and Grandma left this morning, but they did something baaaad. They locked the computer room. No weekend access for Leah! Plus, all of the toilet paper is in -that- closet. Bah. They suck. And I had no way to get to my job today, and with no comp, I couldn't even email Sonja to let her know! Which is why I'm sitting at the computer lab, at the school, right now.
I can't drop out of my english class...I was informed that Pell would want that part of the money back. Shitshitshitshitshit. Which is worse? Failing or withdrawing...either way I'm screwed, I think. Midterms are in two weeks, and I'm way behind.
I want to be online. I need a job. I owe Kara money. I forgot my ID, so when I tried to write a check, obviously, it didn't work.
I have to get $17 in the mail soon, anyhow. Dammit dammit.
Gary has, however, what I hope is my membership card. That would be totally sweet. But he lost my poetry thing...I'm starting to hate that damnable poem. It's not even good, and it keeps winning crap...why don't my good poems ever win anything???
I miss Daniel. I miss Ian. I miss my mom and my brother. I miss having computer access from the comfort of my own home.
I'm tired of everyone saying how well I take all the blows...how I spring back...I'm just as mushy on the inside as everyone else, and while I don't take them as badly as some, I don't take them at all. I ignore them. I'm just...not. Not anything anyone says I am, but I'm not going to try and prove them wrong...I can only try to be what I want me to be and forget about everyone else...but I don't think I can. I guess it wouldn't stress me this bad if I was a bit more selfish, but I've spent so long trying to make myself small and inoffensive that I disgust myself. I just want to cry and be left alone.
There. I've said it. Leave me alone. I don't want to hear about what I've done right or done wrong or this or that. I'm sick of myself. Just leave me alone.
That's all. Sorry.
- Dar.
Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me?
In your thoughts forsaken me?
In your heart...forsaken...me......
__________________________________________________
It was a hot, still summer day; not a breath of a breeze stirred the sultry air. She'd sent him away, more out of respect for his modesty than any sense of her own, as she was too uncomfortably warm to care. She wiped the beads of sweat from her brow and wriggled out of her shoes, wading in up to the ankle. It was a small pond compared to some of the lakes she'd seen, but she still wouldn't ahve been able to swim across it. Finding that the water temperature was chilly enough to give her goosebumps, she smiled widely and shucked off the rest of her clothes. Clad in only the sunshine beaming down through the sparse, cottony clouds, she seemed entirely unselfconscious as she moved deeper into the water, teeth chattering.
He had left at her request, but he hadn't gone far, feeling some unease at the thought of her swimming without a lifeguard ...or something like that. He found a spot a few yards into the trees, where he could sit and not be seen. He kept himself well occupied for a few minutes, but, bit by bit, his curiosity overcame his propriety. His first tentative peep melted into a continuous, helpless gaze. His body performed its natural reaction to a sight like that, but that wasn't what caught his breath in his throat and held him riveted.
She'd decided the water was too chill to jump in all at once, and so remained only calf-deep, swishing and splashing in the shallows. The sun set her aglow, highlighting the simple enjoyment on her features from such an angle that she seemed to be a child again, for a moment. He found himself oddly fixated on the color of her skin - a pale, pale cream, shading gradually to light brown on her arms and legs. The skin was smooth, speckled with freckles. He watched as she drew courage, took a deep breath, and dunked her entire self underwater, surfacing a heartbeat later, to give voice to a whooping yell.
The water sheeted off of her young body, still unaware of the rigors of time and children and lack of exercise. Her legs and arms were toned, firm, her belly flat, her small breasts pert. She looked well-fleshed at first glance, but closer inspection showed a thinness about the wrists and hips, giving her a hint of...fragility. Her limbs still bore that odd, gawky grace that spoke of the growing she had yet to do. Technically, a woman, but still a girlchild, nonetheless. A small, fond smile curled his mouth as he watched her childlike antics.
She knew he was there, watching; she sensed it, and she didn't mind. She was actually sort of glad. She trusted him completely, more than she trusted herself, and wryly suspected that he upheld more honor than she ever had. Besides, it made her feel...safe...to know that he was right there, keeping an eye on her. She finally dove in, despite the cold, and the water felt good against her skin...when she surfaced again she turned her face to the warming rays of the sun, floating gently on her back, and closed her eyes. It was a hot, still summer day; not a breath of a breeze stirred the sultry air, and she smiled.
_______________________________________________________
Now for the person. I'm in an unconscionably foul mood, and I don't really know why.
Roger and Grandma left this morning, but they did something baaaad. They locked the computer room. No weekend access for Leah! Plus, all of the toilet paper is in -that- closet. Bah. They suck. And I had no way to get to my job today, and with no comp, I couldn't even email Sonja to let her know! Which is why I'm sitting at the computer lab, at the school, right now.
I can't drop out of my english class...I was informed that Pell would want that part of the money back. Shitshitshitshitshit. Which is worse? Failing or withdrawing...either way I'm screwed, I think. Midterms are in two weeks, and I'm way behind.
I want to be online. I need a job. I owe Kara money. I forgot my ID, so when I tried to write a check, obviously, it didn't work.
I have to get $17 in the mail soon, anyhow. Dammit dammit.
Gary has, however, what I hope is my membership card. That would be totally sweet. But he lost my poetry thing...I'm starting to hate that damnable poem. It's not even good, and it keeps winning crap...why don't my good poems ever win anything???
I miss Daniel. I miss Ian. I miss my mom and my brother. I miss having computer access from the comfort of my own home.
I'm tired of everyone saying how well I take all the blows...how I spring back...I'm just as mushy on the inside as everyone else, and while I don't take them as badly as some, I don't take them at all. I ignore them. I'm just...not. Not anything anyone says I am, but I'm not going to try and prove them wrong...I can only try to be what I want me to be and forget about everyone else...but I don't think I can. I guess it wouldn't stress me this bad if I was a bit more selfish, but I've spent so long trying to make myself small and inoffensive that I disgust myself. I just want to cry and be left alone.
There. I've said it. Leave me alone. I don't want to hear about what I've done right or done wrong or this or that. I'm sick of myself. Just leave me alone.
That's all. Sorry.
- Dar.
Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me?
In your thoughts forsaken me?
In your heart...forsaken...me......