Jan 05, 2010 14:27
I am a bit of a control freak (understatement), and I hate to think that fate is an option. But in the dark hours of the night, when I am alone and feeling fragile, I am comforted by the thought "If it is meant to be it will be." Just for a moment I let the reigns of life fall from my hands, and let the responsibility fall on something else.
I used to think in poetry, but after years of trying to be emotionally dead, I don't think at all. Now the cogs of my brain are rusted in place, when they try to move, all I get is a rain of russet flakes. I need a jump start, need some lubrication, need a muse. But that is all counting on inspiration to come from outside myself. I don't want to do that any more... but can't help it.
I finally settled on a quote to go under my dorky Billy tattoo: "Because truth is madness and madness truth truly revealed, and to see is to always see too much."
Now off to clean my apartment and to control the things I can control.