OSBP: Set Phasers to Phail
If you haven't heard about the Open Source Boob Project, you might want to check it out. (I don't usually care, but it's potentially triggering.)
In general, I'm fairly oblivious to sexist and/or patriarchal over- and undertones in a very Aspergerian sort of way, but the OSBP starts out with male entitlement and objectification of female bodies on the basis that societal attitudes toward breasts are archaic and oppressive, and it only gets worse. I had to stop reading at several points because it was so exceptionally creepy.
So the deal with the OSBP is that a bunch of people at a sci-fi con went around asking to feel women's breasts. Some of the women were volunteers (offered without being asked), and the first offer was made by a woman. It started with a group of friends. At some point, there were buttons made that indicated the wearer's willingness to be asked, and wearing a button did not mean the default answer was "yes", it only meant that asking was allowed. In some attempt to introduce equality into this inherently sexist scheme, people were also allowed to ask men if they could touch their butts. I'd recommend reading the original post, because you can't get a full sense of outrage based on my summary.
"This should be a better world," a friend of mine said. "A more honest one, where sex isn't shameful or degrading. I wish this was the kind of world where say, 'Wow, I'd like to touch your breasts,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful."
How does he not realise that this statement is inherently contradictory, and that by focusing attention on the breasts of a woman you do not know, whether she indicates her willingness or not, is objectification of her body for (primarily male) sexual gratification? The last part contradicts the first part! If he were saying, "Wow, you are really hot, and I noticed you were looking at some interesting books earlier and I'd like to spend ten minutes talking to you about them", that would be okay, because that is pretty much what people do in reality. You see someone you think is hot, so you make up a topic to get to know them in hopes that you'll get laid. At least you're making an effort (however shallow and transparent) to consider that person as a complete being, and not just a body. I also don't have a problem with people being upfront; if you think someone is hot and you want to hook up, it's okay to say so, as long as you understand that's what it is, and don't try to elevate it be something it's not. And complimenting someone's looks is fine, it's part of flirting. But there is a boundary between thinking or saying something and acting on that thought.
I don't necessarily agree with the boundaries that Western American society has placed in regards to intimacy and sexuality, because I feel that touch has become almost taboo in some ways, and that can be bad -- but as someone who really dislikes being touched, even by family members, I also strongly support a person's right to have personal space respected. And like it or not, breasts are sexual organs. They are erogenous zones and respond to sexual excitation. And yes, in some societies, having naked breasts on display is a way of life. This is true even in some Western societies. But I haven't heard of any society where groping is a normal and encouraged practice, and the idea that groping women will lead to an egalitarian, non-sexist society is dumb as fuck.
And then the real magic happened. Because a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display (the thin strips of her clothing had to be taped to her body to stay on), and we stopped her.
Is it me, or did he basically just say, "She was asking for it!"
We went around the con, asking those who we thought might be amenable - you didn't just ask anyone, but rather the ones who'd dressed to impress - and generally, people responded.
Yeah, he did.
First of all, putting on a costume changes your persona. That's the entire point. It's an opportunity to try out new attitudes and behaviors, all by changing your clothes. So a woman wearing a revealing costume may indeed feel more sexually aggressive, more empowered, more daring than she normally is. She is making a choice to let other people see her body for her own reasons that have nothing to do with whether or not men (or other women) like breasts. That's not the point. The point is that it doesn't matter what she's wearing; no one else has the right to her body. No one has a right to touch her, and therefore no one has a right to ask to do so.
In the case of volunteers, well sure, if women want to be touched, or don't mind being touched, and they offer to let you touch them? Go ahead. That's their choice. I think there are going to be some issues, because some women will still feel pressured to be one of the cool kids, just as some teens are passively pressured into engaging in sexual activity, or drugs, or delinquent behavior because "everyone else is doing it". But I would still be suspicious of the motivations of women who wanted to participate; women are often expected to acquiesce when males want access to their bodies, and if being groped is a compliment, then women who need validation are going to seek the validation of men touching them. This is a perfect example:
By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. "My breasts," they asked shyly, having heard about the project. "Are they... are they good enough to be touched?" And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry.
Yeah, those women are completely empowered and seeking the rewarding experience of being molested, and your blatant abuse of their physical and sexual insecurity is not tawdry or perverted at all.
I have to go scrub my brain now.
In general, I'm fairly oblivious to sexist and/or patriarchal over- and undertones in a very Aspergerian sort of way, but the OSBP starts out with male entitlement and objectification of female bodies on the basis that societal attitudes toward breasts are archaic and oppressive, and it only gets worse. I had to stop reading at several points because it was so exceptionally creepy.
So the deal with the OSBP is that a bunch of people at a sci-fi con went around asking to feel women's breasts. Some of the women were volunteers (offered without being asked), and the first offer was made by a woman. It started with a group of friends. At some point, there were buttons made that indicated the wearer's willingness to be asked, and wearing a button did not mean the default answer was "yes", it only meant that asking was allowed. In some attempt to introduce equality into this inherently sexist scheme, people were also allowed to ask men if they could touch their butts. I'd recommend reading the original post, because you can't get a full sense of outrage based on my summary.
"This should be a better world," a friend of mine said. "A more honest one, where sex isn't shameful or degrading. I wish this was the kind of world where say, 'Wow, I'd like to touch your breasts,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful."
How does he not realise that this statement is inherently contradictory, and that by focusing attention on the breasts of a woman you do not know, whether she indicates her willingness or not, is objectification of her body for (primarily male) sexual gratification? The last part contradicts the first part! If he were saying, "Wow, you are really hot, and I noticed you were looking at some interesting books earlier and I'd like to spend ten minutes talking to you about them", that would be okay, because that is pretty much what people do in reality. You see someone you think is hot, so you make up a topic to get to know them in hopes that you'll get laid. At least you're making an effort (however shallow and transparent) to consider that person as a complete being, and not just a body. I also don't have a problem with people being upfront; if you think someone is hot and you want to hook up, it's okay to say so, as long as you understand that's what it is, and don't try to elevate it be something it's not. And complimenting someone's looks is fine, it's part of flirting. But there is a boundary between thinking or saying something and acting on that thought.
I don't necessarily agree with the boundaries that Western American society has placed in regards to intimacy and sexuality, because I feel that touch has become almost taboo in some ways, and that can be bad -- but as someone who really dislikes being touched, even by family members, I also strongly support a person's right to have personal space respected. And like it or not, breasts are sexual organs. They are erogenous zones and respond to sexual excitation. And yes, in some societies, having naked breasts on display is a way of life. This is true even in some Western societies. But I haven't heard of any society where groping is a normal and encouraged practice, and the idea that groping women will lead to an egalitarian, non-sexist society is dumb as fuck.
And then the real magic happened. Because a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display (the thin strips of her clothing had to be taped to her body to stay on), and we stopped her.
Is it me, or did he basically just say, "She was asking for it!"
We went around the con, asking those who we thought might be amenable - you didn't just ask anyone, but rather the ones who'd dressed to impress - and generally, people responded.
Yeah, he did.
First of all, putting on a costume changes your persona. That's the entire point. It's an opportunity to try out new attitudes and behaviors, all by changing your clothes. So a woman wearing a revealing costume may indeed feel more sexually aggressive, more empowered, more daring than she normally is. She is making a choice to let other people see her body for her own reasons that have nothing to do with whether or not men (or other women) like breasts. That's not the point. The point is that it doesn't matter what she's wearing; no one else has the right to her body. No one has a right to touch her, and therefore no one has a right to ask to do so.
In the case of volunteers, well sure, if women want to be touched, or don't mind being touched, and they offer to let you touch them? Go ahead. That's their choice. I think there are going to be some issues, because some women will still feel pressured to be one of the cool kids, just as some teens are passively pressured into engaging in sexual activity, or drugs, or delinquent behavior because "everyone else is doing it". But I would still be suspicious of the motivations of women who wanted to participate; women are often expected to acquiesce when males want access to their bodies, and if being groped is a compliment, then women who need validation are going to seek the validation of men touching them. This is a perfect example:
By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. "My breasts," they asked shyly, having heard about the project. "Are they... are they good enough to be touched?" And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry.
Yeah, those women are completely empowered and seeking the rewarding experience of being molested, and your blatant abuse of their physical and sexual insecurity is not tawdry or perverted at all.
I have to go scrub my brain now.