[Semi-private] Aftermath
[Private-ish; Asch is taking advantage of his Ancient Ispanian again, and he'll probably discard this message sooner than later.]
I don’t really know what to say…I can’t believe that many people actually came, even some who barely knew me, if at all. I know most of them probably just showed up because Jade asked them to or because Ad Libitum was down a melee fighter, but…I-I heard and saw through the eyes of the negativity. I don’t want to rely on anyone else, and I don’t want my self-worth to be based on someone else’s approval…But I did appreciate it. Ever since I was a little kid, I’d thought that Van was the only one who appreciated me, who needed me for who I am, not just my name or title…I figured out that he was just using me, but at least he didn’t replace me…I guess I’m glad I’m more valuable than just that.
Tear was right. As a soldier-no, in general-I shouldn’t have behaved like that. To think that the negativity was trying to make me be like him…That’s even more insulting than what happened seven years ago. I’d be lying if I said the negativity gave me those ideas that I spouted. I know that that idiot is the favorite and that his friends probably want him more than they want me…but dying and letting him take my place? Hell no! I’ve had a death sentence all my life, and I’ve never liked it. Now that I’m free to live, I’m not going to give up that easily, not like that. I would have rather taken down that negative bastard by myself, but I’m satisfied with how it ended.
I thought I had put all of that behind me, first when I took the name “Asch,” and later when I lost the duel…Looks like I still have a ways to go. I wonder if I won’t be able to get past this unless I confront that replica idiot again. I…I left the rest to him when I was dying, but like hell I want to see the bastard again. I guess it can’t be helped. I’ll try to tolerate him if I see him again.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…thanks and…sorry.
Like hell I'll ever tell them any of this.
[End of Ancient Ispanian, since it's a little harder for him to write in, compared to this language, and he doesn't care as much about snooping people discovering this bit. It is, however, written in Fonic Script out of habit.]
This won’t happen again.
I don’t really know what to say…I can’t believe that many people actually came, even some who barely knew me, if at all. I know most of them probably just showed up because Jade asked them to or because Ad Libitum was down a melee fighter, but…I-I heard and saw through the eyes of the negativity. I don’t want to rely on anyone else, and I don’t want my self-worth to be based on someone else’s approval…But I did appreciate it. Ever since I was a little kid, I’d thought that Van was the only one who appreciated me, who needed me for who I am, not just my name or title…I figured out that he was just using me, but at least he didn’t replace me…I guess I’m glad I’m more valuable than just that.
Tear was right. As a soldier-no, in general-I shouldn’t have behaved like that. To think that the negativity was trying to make me be like him…That’s even more insulting than what happened seven years ago. I’d be lying if I said the negativity gave me those ideas that I spouted. I know that that idiot is the favorite and that his friends probably want him more than they want me…but dying and letting him take my place? Hell no! I’ve had a death sentence all my life, and I’ve never liked it. Now that I’m free to live, I’m not going to give up that easily, not like that. I would have rather taken down that negative bastard by myself, but I’m satisfied with how it ended.
I thought I had put all of that behind me, first when I took the name “Asch,” and later when I lost the duel…Looks like I still have a ways to go. I wonder if I won’t be able to get past this unless I confront that replica idiot again. I…I left the rest to him when I was dying, but like hell I want to see the bastard again. I guess it can’t be helped. I’ll try to tolerate him if I see him again.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…thanks and…sorry.
Like hell I'll ever tell them any of this.
[End of Ancient Ispanian, since it's a little harder for him to write in, compared to this language, and he doesn't care as much about snooping people discovering this bit. It is, however, written in Fonic Script out of habit.]
This won’t happen again.