Resisting Accolades
So my boss is extremely giving for a scientist. She has allowed me, an undergraduate, to work on my own project and to present my own work at various points (ASCB confrence in San Francisco, Current Works talk for our lab, etc.). She lets me take more than enough credit for what I've done since I got there, and tries to reassure me that my work is above and beyond spectacular. She wants me to be first author on a paper detailing my results.
So why on earth do I not want to write this paper? Being a first author is a big deal, especially so soon after undergrad. It is the equivalent (effort-wise and intelligence-wise) of a master's thesis, or so Diana tells me. But instead of being excited about it, I'm in the dumps of procrastination hell.
Maybe I really don't think it will ever be published, and that my work is for naught. Maybe I realize that science is something I want to make money with and can feel fulfilled doing, but not my innermost passion and drive. Maybe I don't give a shit and simply want to get the heck out of dodge faster than a speeding bullet. Maybe I appreciate the sentiment, but realize that my work is going to garner her thousands of dollars of grant money, and as such, I feel a little used.
Used or not, I'm going to have to go to Top Pot and start on this. At least I'm getting paid to eat donuts and surf the web :P
So why on earth do I not want to write this paper? Being a first author is a big deal, especially so soon after undergrad. It is the equivalent (effort-wise and intelligence-wise) of a master's thesis, or so Diana tells me. But instead of being excited about it, I'm in the dumps of procrastination hell.
Maybe I really don't think it will ever be published, and that my work is for naught. Maybe I realize that science is something I want to make money with and can feel fulfilled doing, but not my innermost passion and drive. Maybe I don't give a shit and simply want to get the heck out of dodge faster than a speeding bullet. Maybe I appreciate the sentiment, but realize that my work is going to garner her thousands of dollars of grant money, and as such, I feel a little used.
Used or not, I'm going to have to go to Top Pot and start on this. At least I'm getting paid to eat donuts and surf the web :P