Hanging in there
I know, I know
I'm horrible, I update about once every two months and talk about nonsense.....
So here is some nonsense: "Warning this is very stream of consciousness"
Music flows through the heart and soul of every person. When one is a musician one has a chance to influence the mind and emotions of the populace. At times I find it very frustrating being that once long ago It was my soul ambition to be a great musician. Now I find that my skills wane. (The whole if you don't use it, you loose it problem.) admittedly I was unable to play for the past 2 months do to my surgery, but It made me think of how much I used to play, and how much I really play now. Yes We've started a band and been keeping up with it to a degree, but that is once every week I play. I rarely practice in between, be it arrogance or lack of time. Needless to say my drum playing has fallen in a slump. I must once again devote the time necessary to be a master, instead of someone who haphazardly keeps a beat. I must continue My persuit of skills in Guitar and Piano, and learn to sing as a professional instead of making noise with my vocal chords.... How can I guide a band if I do not hold myself to the same standards as I hold others. Once perfection was what music was. A devotion to the attuned sound which would strike a chord in an individual or group. Not being able to get all the way through some cover tune.
Keeping reality in check... I was once a slacker who moved from job to job and thought that I was living the musicians life. While I was experiencing life (at times in excess) I was not persuing my goals in music. Yes I played in bands here and there, but I could have done much more if I had the focus I have now.
Now I have many responsibilities, and a steady job. While these things give me security of a roof over my head, food, and basic nessesities. (Not to mention the ability to buy the equipment nessesary to play in a band.) it does not give me time.
It seems life is full of catch 22s. Either you have time or you have money. So I suppose what this massive rant is about is that I need to find more room in my life for music, And balance that with the responsibilities and other needs. I can do it, but isn't this whole journal thing supposed to be a forum to share thoughts and emotions, if not else just to bitch :)
Side note: Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy right now. Probably the happiest I've ever been, but that doesn't mean I'm satiated with my place in the world. I have things I wouldn't trade for anything. I have a women who I love very much, and a much greater sense of self then I ever had before. I suppose growth is the end result, and while life passes, and we grow old, we grasp for dreams, and fleeting desires along the way, and if we're lucky we snag a couple of them!
I'm horrible, I update about once every two months and talk about nonsense.....
So here is some nonsense: "Warning this is very stream of consciousness"
Music flows through the heart and soul of every person. When one is a musician one has a chance to influence the mind and emotions of the populace. At times I find it very frustrating being that once long ago It was my soul ambition to be a great musician. Now I find that my skills wane. (The whole if you don't use it, you loose it problem.) admittedly I was unable to play for the past 2 months do to my surgery, but It made me think of how much I used to play, and how much I really play now. Yes We've started a band and been keeping up with it to a degree, but that is once every week I play. I rarely practice in between, be it arrogance or lack of time. Needless to say my drum playing has fallen in a slump. I must once again devote the time necessary to be a master, instead of someone who haphazardly keeps a beat. I must continue My persuit of skills in Guitar and Piano, and learn to sing as a professional instead of making noise with my vocal chords.... How can I guide a band if I do not hold myself to the same standards as I hold others. Once perfection was what music was. A devotion to the attuned sound which would strike a chord in an individual or group. Not being able to get all the way through some cover tune.
Keeping reality in check... I was once a slacker who moved from job to job and thought that I was living the musicians life. While I was experiencing life (at times in excess) I was not persuing my goals in music. Yes I played in bands here and there, but I could have done much more if I had the focus I have now.
Now I have many responsibilities, and a steady job. While these things give me security of a roof over my head, food, and basic nessesities. (Not to mention the ability to buy the equipment nessesary to play in a band.) it does not give me time.
It seems life is full of catch 22s. Either you have time or you have money. So I suppose what this massive rant is about is that I need to find more room in my life for music, And balance that with the responsibilities and other needs. I can do it, but isn't this whole journal thing supposed to be a forum to share thoughts and emotions, if not else just to bitch :)
Side note: Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy right now. Probably the happiest I've ever been, but that doesn't mean I'm satiated with my place in the world. I have things I wouldn't trade for anything. I have a women who I love very much, and a much greater sense of self then I ever had before. I suppose growth is the end result, and while life passes, and we grow old, we grasp for dreams, and fleeting desires along the way, and if we're lucky we snag a couple of them!