All hail me.
Soon, quite soon Nikki and I will be back in Michigan.
More than likely you all will be inclined to rush out to the airport and greet us like they used to greet the Beatles back before they started dying off. But I implore you, please... don't only do this. I mean, being rushed by wave after wave of friend is fantastic. But, there should also be fireworks. And cannons. And a man dressed as some type of taco, preferably riding on a pogo-stick.
Additionally, which ever one of you is paying for this monumentous event should probably spring for some good catering. As such, the moment I step off that plane I should be greeted to scents of Two Guys From Italy, and Blue Nile, and Popeyes Chicken, and yes even White Castle. Faygo would be a nice touch as well but please, do not turn this into a Juggalo event.
In case you are wondering what you should wear, I think it is fairly obvious. You will wear the clothing that I would consider to be the most memorable. I am not going to list everyone since that will take too much time. But Eva for example. She would wear her Blue Marble shirt, because when I think Eva, I think blue marble shirt. She might not even have this shirt anymore. But that simply does not matter. She will have to buy a new one.
So there you have it. 8:38 PM on June 1st, I will be in Michigan. Do not be surprised if this results in massive earthquakes and panic in the streets. Such is natural and to be expected. I miss you all, except for those of you I hate.
Because even thousands of miles away, and years between... I still hate with the same firey passion that first made me hate you, all of you. Forgive and forget is for pussies, Hate and Destroy is for Heroes.
Sorry, that was me going off on a tangent. Expect there to be many tangents, and tangents to tangents, and possibly even some sort of cosine or two. Who knows. Point being, SOMEONE needs to follow me around with a big ass boombox at all times and play theme music for me.
Hopefully someone has already thought of this, I really shouldn't be expected to plan everything. That is just ridiculous.
More than likely you all will be inclined to rush out to the airport and greet us like they used to greet the Beatles back before they started dying off. But I implore you, please... don't only do this. I mean, being rushed by wave after wave of friend is fantastic. But, there should also be fireworks. And cannons. And a man dressed as some type of taco, preferably riding on a pogo-stick.
Additionally, which ever one of you is paying for this monumentous event should probably spring for some good catering. As such, the moment I step off that plane I should be greeted to scents of Two Guys From Italy, and Blue Nile, and Popeyes Chicken, and yes even White Castle. Faygo would be a nice touch as well but please, do not turn this into a Juggalo event.
In case you are wondering what you should wear, I think it is fairly obvious. You will wear the clothing that I would consider to be the most memorable. I am not going to list everyone since that will take too much time. But Eva for example. She would wear her Blue Marble shirt, because when I think Eva, I think blue marble shirt. She might not even have this shirt anymore. But that simply does not matter. She will have to buy a new one.
So there you have it. 8:38 PM on June 1st, I will be in Michigan. Do not be surprised if this results in massive earthquakes and panic in the streets. Such is natural and to be expected. I miss you all, except for those of you I hate.
Because even thousands of miles away, and years between... I still hate with the same firey passion that first made me hate you, all of you. Forgive and forget is for pussies, Hate and Destroy is for Heroes.
Sorry, that was me going off on a tangent. Expect there to be many tangents, and tangents to tangents, and possibly even some sort of cosine or two. Who knows. Point being, SOMEONE needs to follow me around with a big ass boombox at all times and play theme music for me.
Hopefully someone has already thought of this, I really shouldn't be expected to plan everything. That is just ridiculous.