Personal debrief/memory post
whWooah
I'm party EXHAUSTED.
. . unfortunately part of the tiredness is mental/emotional secondhand stress (remember that I am like a sponge for any bad feelings drifting around T_T). There was some not-quite-clarified drama trickling down from the upstairs, which resulted in K's sister (who was not home) not coming, and K being a bit down & gloomy-stressed. . so THAT was not so good :( She still wanted to be there & have fun, and she brought a present and pie.
(The present was a SUPER SOFT slowpoke beanie plush with dangles on it~ ya ya. . <3! . . My parents got me a couple of DVDs off my wishlist :D the series Cybersix(!!! so good), and the OVA movie thing for Tsubasa to complete my collection of that).
The people who did come were some quality ppl!! Christa is so nice and she is chill. I like Nat too; I think she is a bit like me in ways [she also wanted us (& particularly K) to stay fed, so she brought pizza over after a while]. I'm glad I invited them. K&J also both came because they were able to get their kids looked after. 'u'
I even got to video conference in switterbeet and castlemew. THAT was really fun!!
And, in the end, some of us did some of our crafts/projects! X); So I'm proud. <3
What I ended up doing was a tiny, tiny bit of inking. It seemed the easiest, and anyway it's boring to do alone. I /had/ been planning on painting, but I guess I was too all-over-the-place/concerned for things to be well-hosted etc. etc. But nonetheless. . a lil tiny bit of work. . I did it. ;u;'
I played some of my eclectic CD collection which was somewhat entertaining.
Annd the food was soo delicious, although of course I had too much/the wrong things. I just love party food tho. (At just the very beginning my parents were over to help me to set it up and start snacking on it~)
Now that the party is done I also am not looking forward with joy to the rest of my life in this new year of it though. loooll. I'm still not through the grey yet, I guess!! But maybe I will be soon.
. .I suppose I usually get excited about Halloween. . but right atm I can't even care.
And to be honest, thinking about Christmas just kinda makes me think about death.
. .. . yep sorry that's not the nicest thought to share~ . .
It's just that we're (if all goes well) going to see my 90-yr-old grandma who is having more and more difficulties :( and also then I'm going with Dani to see her family and one of her family members is sick (I'm glad I got to meet them previously, before this was like. . a thing for me to know about). . and I just end up thinking about it. and it's kindof a lot to handle.
anyway. I got extra sad a bit, I guess. & then I missed my girlfriend a lot in the hugging sense, which DOES happen on occasion. (of course!) I think particularly in the fall I've always gotten a little bit wistful & clingy?? Weird as that may seem.
Ya . . I don't know what to do with myself.
That about sums up my thoughts on November.
An entire month where I am currently expecting to be aimless.
I'm HOPING I'll feel like doing more cleaning again (or really bury myself in organizing my digital life -- which is unfortunatel an overwhelming prospect). . once I get over the overdose of all the cleaning I did the past 3 days (just desperately trying to get ready for the party as much as possible).
ugghhzznn.
I think/hope I'll feel better by next week, once I've had a chance to look (when better rested) at what projects I've wanted to do.
I. . . wish I ALWAYS had someone to come accompany me with projects. 8);; . . it was extremely super helpful to have my dad come over on one day and then my mom came over the next. we did different things that they are good at helping with, and I didn't have to manage them both at one time.
. . . I really ought to start getting OUT in the outside world more before it becomes truly snowy and stuff. And because seeing people and the outside world is a good idea? And I have stuff to do. some stuff.
First I have to sleep right. I will attempt it now.
[Eta: Not so successful. I slept only 3 hours! then was wide awake and sad 8O 8( . . but I found some morning people to talk to '-' <3 so that was helpful~ And now after another nap it's looking like it'll be a nice enough day to enjoy a bike ride later. Hopefully I can do that.]
I'm party EXHAUSTED.
. . unfortunately part of the tiredness is mental/emotional secondhand stress (remember that I am like a sponge for any bad feelings drifting around T_T). There was some not-quite-clarified drama trickling down from the upstairs, which resulted in K's sister (who was not home) not coming, and K being a bit down & gloomy-stressed. . so THAT was not so good :( She still wanted to be there & have fun, and she brought a present and pie.
(The present was a SUPER SOFT slowpoke beanie plush with dangles on it~ ya ya. . <3! . . My parents got me a couple of DVDs off my wishlist :D the series Cybersix(!!! so good), and the OVA movie thing for Tsubasa to complete my collection of that).
The people who did come were some quality ppl!! Christa is so nice and she is chill. I like Nat too; I think she is a bit like me in ways [she also wanted us (& particularly K) to stay fed, so she brought pizza over after a while]. I'm glad I invited them. K&J also both came because they were able to get their kids looked after. 'u'
I even got to video conference in switterbeet and castlemew. THAT was really fun!!
And, in the end, some of us did some of our crafts/projects! X); So I'm proud. <3
What I ended up doing was a tiny, tiny bit of inking. It seemed the easiest, and anyway it's boring to do alone. I /had/ been planning on painting, but I guess I was too all-over-the-place/concerned for things to be well-hosted etc. etc. But nonetheless. . a lil tiny bit of work. . I did it. ;u;'
I played some of my eclectic CD collection which was somewhat entertaining.
Annd the food was soo delicious, although of course I had too much/the wrong things. I just love party food tho. (At just the very beginning my parents were over to help me to set it up and start snacking on it~)
Now that the party is done I also am not looking forward with joy to the rest of my life in this new year of it though. loooll. I'm still not through the grey yet, I guess!! But maybe I will be soon.
. .I suppose I usually get excited about Halloween. . but right atm I can't even care.
And to be honest, thinking about Christmas just kinda makes me think about death.
. .. . yep sorry that's not the nicest thought to share~ . .
It's just that we're (if all goes well) going to see my 90-yr-old grandma who is having more and more difficulties :( and also then I'm going with Dani to see her family and one of her family members is sick (I'm glad I got to meet them previously, before this was like. . a thing for me to know about). . and I just end up thinking about it. and it's kindof a lot to handle.
anyway. I got extra sad a bit, I guess. & then I missed my girlfriend a lot in the hugging sense, which DOES happen on occasion. (of course!) I think particularly in the fall I've always gotten a little bit wistful & clingy?? Weird as that may seem.
Ya . . I don't know what to do with myself.
That about sums up my thoughts on November.
An entire month where I am currently expecting to be aimless.
I'm HOPING I'll feel like doing more cleaning again (or really bury myself in organizing my digital life -- which is unfortunatel an overwhelming prospect). . once I get over the overdose of all the cleaning I did the past 3 days (just desperately trying to get ready for the party as much as possible).
ugghhzznn.
I think/hope I'll feel better by next week, once I've had a chance to look (when better rested) at what projects I've wanted to do.
I. . . wish I ALWAYS had someone to come accompany me with projects. 8);; . . it was extremely super helpful to have my dad come over on one day and then my mom came over the next. we did different things that they are good at helping with, and I didn't have to manage them both at one time.
. . . I really ought to start getting OUT in the outside world more before it becomes truly snowy and stuff. And because seeing people and the outside world is a good idea? And I have stuff to do. some stuff.
First I have to sleep right. I will attempt it now.
[Eta: Not so successful. I slept only 3 hours! then was wide awake and sad 8O 8( . . but I found some morning people to talk to '-' <3 so that was helpful~ And now after another nap it's looking like it'll be a nice enough day to enjoy a bike ride later. Hopefully I can do that.]