[ 何やっても何のためか わからないのさもう抱きしめることもいたずらなキスもできないなんて ]
I'm sorry for using my livejournal to write long chunks about love.
But I think I know why, it's because love and feelings in general is something that you can't control. You can decide what you want to do every single day, whether you want to spend your money on something or not but you can't control what you feel for another person and you can't force someone else to love you.
Relationships are so interesting, why do some people get along and some don't. And how come you fall someone you can't have when you in reality can have just about anyone. Isn't it because out of all the stars in the sky you want the one that shines brighter than the sun.
It's so ridiculous that the person I want right now is again someone far away from me and someone who will only be this close for a temporary amount of time. I wish that I could make it easier on myself. But then it hit me, maybe the reason why is because there is a part of me that wants to get away, and going away for someone is a good excuse.
The thing is, I'm not looking for a forever. I want to try living in the present, I want to be in a relationship like everyone else and be fine with it even if it doesn't go well because if this what life is giving me then I might as well try to make the best out of it. Instead of thinking that it'll be painful I'll just cherish the happiness. For the reason that it's a feeling that you can't control and if I am that lucky to find someone who feels the same about me then why should I try weighing all the pros and cons.
I've been talking to this person for about 4 months but we've recently become quite close to one another. I should not be speculating about whether he is interested in me or not but I can't help but to do so from what he has said to me as of late. But we enjoy talking to each other and everything flows so well despite both of us being shy people. Then again maybe that's why.
He mentioned that the next person that he'll get together with will be special, I want to be that person. Not long after that he said that everything feels so natural between us and you never know so maybe we should try dating. Honestly I wanted to tell him something right away when he said that, but instead I told him not to joke about something like that and he said that he didn't mean it as a joke.
I don't know exactly when I went from being interested in him to liking him but maybe that's okay. I'm sure of that he likes me a bit too, the question is only how much and in what way.
All I know is that I want him, this, us.
I'll be meeting him late March so we'll see what happens then if nothing has changed before that.
I will try not to make him fall for me too hard because you know once you meet me irl my charms are deadly. (Especially when I'm pretty much his ideal type lol)
[I'MSORRYTHISPOSTMAKESNOSENSE]
But I think I know why, it's because love and feelings in general is something that you can't control. You can decide what you want to do every single day, whether you want to spend your money on something or not but you can't control what you feel for another person and you can't force someone else to love you.
Relationships are so interesting, why do some people get along and some don't. And how come you fall someone you can't have when you in reality can have just about anyone. Isn't it because out of all the stars in the sky you want the one that shines brighter than the sun.
It's so ridiculous that the person I want right now is again someone far away from me and someone who will only be this close for a temporary amount of time. I wish that I could make it easier on myself. But then it hit me, maybe the reason why is because there is a part of me that wants to get away, and going away for someone is a good excuse.
The thing is, I'm not looking for a forever. I want to try living in the present, I want to be in a relationship like everyone else and be fine with it even if it doesn't go well because if this what life is giving me then I might as well try to make the best out of it. Instead of thinking that it'll be painful I'll just cherish the happiness. For the reason that it's a feeling that you can't control and if I am that lucky to find someone who feels the same about me then why should I try weighing all the pros and cons.
I've been talking to this person for about 4 months but we've recently become quite close to one another. I should not be speculating about whether he is interested in me or not but I can't help but to do so from what he has said to me as of late. But we enjoy talking to each other and everything flows so well despite both of us being shy people. Then again maybe that's why.
He mentioned that the next person that he'll get together with will be special, I want to be that person. Not long after that he said that everything feels so natural between us and you never know so maybe we should try dating. Honestly I wanted to tell him something right away when he said that, but instead I told him not to joke about something like that and he said that he didn't mean it as a joke.
I don't know exactly when I went from being interested in him to liking him but maybe that's okay. I'm sure of that he likes me a bit too, the question is only how much and in what way.
All I know is that I want him, this, us.
I'll be meeting him late March so we'll see what happens then if nothing has changed before that.
I will try not to make him fall for me too hard because you know once you meet me irl my charms are deadly. (Especially when I'm pretty much his ideal type lol)
[I'MSORRYTHISPOSTMAKESNOSENSE]