B5 FIC :: "Shattered Glass: A Journey - Part 14" [Susan/Talia, R]
INDEX & DISCLAIMER INFO { DW || LJ }
10 August 2263
deep into the night
thoughts come unbidden and dark
jason aims to soothe
susan cannot know of them
they are far too dangerous
When Talia wrote this particular sanity snippet earlier today, she and I were having lunch at the cafe. It is a rare treat that we can get away for a long, leisurely lunch in public like this, and we jumped at the chance. She was telling me about some new breakthroughs she had in her session with Robin this morning, and just pulled out paper and pen from her bag to jot down this poem. She didn't stop talking for the moment or two it took her to write it out, her voice still animated and upbeat. When she finished, she set the pen down and pushed the paper across the table to me.
Curious about the sentiments it entailed, I reached across the table to grab her hand. She stopped mid-word and blinked before offering me a sad smile. "We'll talk about it tonight," she said, reinforcing that promise telepathically. In a rare instance, Jason backed up her promise to discuss it once we were back in our quarters.
To say that the rest of my day went far too slowly is an understatement, right? The fact that I was forced to deal with yet another boring meeting that seemed to go on forever was not helping matters at all. I will fully and freely admit here that my mind wandered far more than it probably should have during that meeting. I kept trying to figure out if I'd ever noticed Talia acting more strangely than normal to cover for bad dreams or nightmares. Not that I'm one to talk in the hiding nightmares category, but that's different.
Talia greeted me at the door with a broad, unfettered smile and a kiss to curl my toes, before sending me off to shower and change. Delenn had chosen to take David to Earth for the first time earlier this week, and it has been odd not sharing dinners with her. But at the same time, I've enjoyed having Talia all to myself. My shower was over in record time, and I didn't even bother to change out of my robe. Why bother? We weren't going to go anywhere.
Dinner was a quiet affair, just the two of us eating the salads Talia made. The Riesling she chose was crisp and complemented the fruit in the salad perfectly. While I took care of the dishes after dinner, Talia went to take her own shower, returning in her robe. We curled up together on the couch, and she began to explain why she doesn't always tell me when the bad thoughts come back. It was both enlightening and disheartening to know just how often those dark thoughts plague her. But I also remember how much trouble I had when both my mother and brother died. It took me years to get over the depressing desire to slide into oblivion rather than deal with their losses. But eventually they lessened, just as I know they will for Talia. And she's got something that I didn't have: a lover who will support her every single step of the way, no matter what.
She's cleaning up the wine bottles and glasses before bed while I write this entry. I am quite sure there will be more talking in bed, as well as making love. We need it tonight, need to feel that bond we share.
Clarification from Talia: It was time to explain things to Susan. I'd been worrying over Susan's confession about her jealousy from a couple weeks prior, and Robin finally got that out of me. We talked a lot about honesty and unity in my recovery, and it finally just clicked into place that day as I wrote that poem. Jason did eventually admit to me that he may have had a hand in subtly influencing me to write it and give it to Susan like I did. As much as I'd wanted to be mad at him for doing it, I couldn't help but be grateful that it was finally out in the open.
We talked long into the night that night, nothing was off limits. We talked about her nightmares, the ones that still popped up from time to time, and my nightmares and dark thoughts. We even talked about doing a few joint sessions with Robin, if only to make Susan feel more a part of my healing. There were tears and laughter, as there should be, and eventually we exhausted ourselves and a second bottle of that Riesling. And when we went to bed that night, our lovemaking was more intimate, more emotionally bonded than before. We both cried ourselves to sleep, bodies entwined until one might think we were one person.
Original post @ Dreamwidth with
comments. Commenting is welcome on either post.
10 August 2263
deep into the night
thoughts come unbidden and dark
jason aims to soothe
susan cannot know of them
they are far too dangerous
When Talia wrote this particular sanity snippet earlier today, she and I were having lunch at the cafe. It is a rare treat that we can get away for a long, leisurely lunch in public like this, and we jumped at the chance. She was telling me about some new breakthroughs she had in her session with Robin this morning, and just pulled out paper and pen from her bag to jot down this poem. She didn't stop talking for the moment or two it took her to write it out, her voice still animated and upbeat. When she finished, she set the pen down and pushed the paper across the table to me.
Curious about the sentiments it entailed, I reached across the table to grab her hand. She stopped mid-word and blinked before offering me a sad smile. "We'll talk about it tonight," she said, reinforcing that promise telepathically. In a rare instance, Jason backed up her promise to discuss it once we were back in our quarters.
To say that the rest of my day went far too slowly is an understatement, right? The fact that I was forced to deal with yet another boring meeting that seemed to go on forever was not helping matters at all. I will fully and freely admit here that my mind wandered far more than it probably should have during that meeting. I kept trying to figure out if I'd ever noticed Talia acting more strangely than normal to cover for bad dreams or nightmares. Not that I'm one to talk in the hiding nightmares category, but that's different.
Talia greeted me at the door with a broad, unfettered smile and a kiss to curl my toes, before sending me off to shower and change. Delenn had chosen to take David to Earth for the first time earlier this week, and it has been odd not sharing dinners with her. But at the same time, I've enjoyed having Talia all to myself. My shower was over in record time, and I didn't even bother to change out of my robe. Why bother? We weren't going to go anywhere.
Dinner was a quiet affair, just the two of us eating the salads Talia made. The Riesling she chose was crisp and complemented the fruit in the salad perfectly. While I took care of the dishes after dinner, Talia went to take her own shower, returning in her robe. We curled up together on the couch, and she began to explain why she doesn't always tell me when the bad thoughts come back. It was both enlightening and disheartening to know just how often those dark thoughts plague her. But I also remember how much trouble I had when both my mother and brother died. It took me years to get over the depressing desire to slide into oblivion rather than deal with their losses. But eventually they lessened, just as I know they will for Talia. And she's got something that I didn't have: a lover who will support her every single step of the way, no matter what.
She's cleaning up the wine bottles and glasses before bed while I write this entry. I am quite sure there will be more talking in bed, as well as making love. We need it tonight, need to feel that bond we share.
Clarification from Talia: It was time to explain things to Susan. I'd been worrying over Susan's confession about her jealousy from a couple weeks prior, and Robin finally got that out of me. We talked a lot about honesty and unity in my recovery, and it finally just clicked into place that day as I wrote that poem. Jason did eventually admit to me that he may have had a hand in subtly influencing me to write it and give it to Susan like I did. As much as I'd wanted to be mad at him for doing it, I couldn't help but be grateful that it was finally out in the open.
We talked long into the night that night, nothing was off limits. We talked about her nightmares, the ones that still popped up from time to time, and my nightmares and dark thoughts. We even talked about doing a few joint sessions with Robin, if only to make Susan feel more a part of my healing. There were tears and laughter, as there should be, and eventually we exhausted ourselves and a second bottle of that Riesling. And when we went to bed that night, our lovemaking was more intimate, more emotionally bonded than before. We both cried ourselves to sleep, bodies entwined until one might think we were one person.
Original post @ Dreamwidth with
comments. Commenting is welcome on either post.