Title: Displacement
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Email: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Cally/Seelix
Date: 21 April - 3 May 2009
Word Count: 1363
Written for:
femme_fic 2009
Recipient:
timjrSummary: You can't stop that tiny little hope in the back of your mind, can you?
Spoilers: Anything from 1x12 "Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part 1" to 2x19 "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 1"
Website: ShatterStorm Productions - Frisked & Conquered
Link to:
http://f-n-c.shatterstorm.net/ Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…
Author’s Disclaimer: "Battlestar Galactica," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Ron Moore, David Eick, SciFi, R&D TV, Sky TV, and USA Cable Entertainment LLC. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Battlestar Galactica," SciFi, or any representatives of the actors whose characters are involved.
Prompt:
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Cally Henderson/Diane Seelix
Prompt: "Only those who were on Kobol could possibly understand", hurt/comfort
Three Things You Don't Want: Non-con, character death
Author’s Notes: When I got my assignment, I admit I was kind of taken aback. I don't know Sarah Jane Adventures or Lost like at all. And I happen to hate Cally with a white hot passion. I've never liked the character. But instead of being smart and commenting on this to the mods, I chose to wait it out and see what I could come up with, since it's only 1000 words, right? And then I finally got an idea, but had my timeline wrong. So I finally went back and watched like an entire season of BSG [rough, I know!] to fix my initial idea while still keeping the bulk of what I'd started with. And I ended up with this. And actually? I think I like it for what it is. And that's the important thing, right? Well, plus the idea that my recipient likes it, too… *g*
Dedication: To my muses, for always being up for the challenge…
Beta:
cuspofqueens "Displacement"
By A. Magiluna Stormwriter
You've worked side by side for the years now, but that still doesn't explain what you're doing right now. She's been sleeping for the last four hours straight. Doc Cottle's been giving you strange looks, but you're not causing any trouble, so he's letting you be. He's been giving Chief a harder time, but that seems appropriate if the scuttlebutt is true. And if there's one thing you've learned on this ship, it's that the scuttlebutt is rarely wrong.
What in the frak was he thinking anyway? What man in his right mind beats the hell out of someone else like that? Man or woman? But to beat the hell out of a woman who's known to have feelings for him? By the gods, who's the bigger idiot in all of this? Him? Her? You?
Wait a minute… What the frak are you doing? Are you seriously sitting here, mooning over her, until she wakes up? Or rather, until he comes back to brood at her bedside. And you're sure he will at some point. There's something there that just doesn't quite add up in all of this.
A soft moan brings you back from your thoughts to stare at the woman in the bed. The lines deepening between her brows, the pained expression, take you back to a mission that feels like centuries ago. Kobol. That gods frakking damned mission. You're not sure which of you really had it worse that day: Cally for having to go back with Chief and Tarn to get the med kit, ultimately having to watch Tarn get shot down; or you for having to watch Socinus dying, for having to make Chief understand that the only thing left for Socinus was giving him the morpha to ease his pain. You were both so damned frakked. All of you were. And what about when Crashdown nearly shot her in the head when she was so paralyzed with fear? It was the first, and probably only, time you were impressed by Gaius Baltar's actions. No, his words describing Crashdown's death were pretty admirable, too. Even if those of you who lived to tell about it knew otherwise. And yet, none of you have ever said a word about it since.
You're not forgetting your own shooting on that gods forsaken planet either. Once you got back, she sat with you when you were shot. Found ways to distract you from the pain while Doc Cottle got the meds into your system. She whispered things, promises that you both knew she couldn't ever consider keeping. But they were enough to keep you going, holding on until sleep finally overtook you. And when you woke up, she was still sitting there by your side, keeping watch over you, even if she'd managed to fall asleep herself.
So the least you can do now is repay that damned favor. Keep up the lies, Diana. Tell her the things you both know can never happen. No matter how much you may want them to. No, she'll never be what you want her to be, never give you want you really want. She's just not that kind of girl.
And neither are you. Even if you have to keep telling yourself that for the rest of your life, eventually you'll understand that, accept it. Isn't that what your whole life has been? One long stream of convincing yourself, and everyone else, what you're not?
Look at her, Diana. Look at the broken woman in that bed. Do you really think she's going to turn to you for comfort? Everyone knows her feelings for Chief. It's not like it's been a very well kept secret over the last year. Whether he's returned those feelings or not? Well, that really doesn't matter, does it? Or it shouldn’t, not to you. She's made her feelings obvious where you're concerned. Besides, she's out of your league in ways you still can't explain to yourself.
Blinking against the stinging behind your eyelids, you lean forward as Cally moans again. Without thought, your hand stretches out to ghost over the worst of the abrasions and bruises. You're probably just imagining it, but you swear you can feel the pain radiating off her skin. That realization pulls your hand away as if her face had transformed into a serpent's maw.
Frakking hell! What is your problem? You're sitting here, mooning over a woman you know you'll never have. A woman you've found yourself more and more attracted to since that gods forsaken mission to Kobol. A woman that wants nothing more from you than friendship.
And yet, you can't stop that tiny little hope in the back of your mind, can you? The one that says if you do everything just right, she'll change her mind. That she'll show up next to your rack, requesting the brief solace that frantic sex offers. That maybe she'll completely change, for you.
And then what? You can get your rocks off on your own, in your rack or in the shower. You don't need her, or anyone else for that matter. No, what you need is a distraction. Preferably long term. Maybe if that planet they're scouting out turns out to be habitable, you can just stay there. What's a little defection among friends, right? It's not like you'll be all that missed. Oh, they'll miss your skills and your dedication to the job, but they won't miss you.
But as your eyes fall on Cally's face again, and you realize that you've started stroking her hair unconsciously, you realize that you can't do that. You couldn't leave this, any of this: not Galactica, not the deck crew, not the Old Man, not her. You're stuck here, and there's no other way around it. But you're going to have to change how you think, how you feel. And that starts with what you're doing right now. Reluctantly, you pull back your hand and force yourself to just sit there by her side, watching over her for as long as she sleeps. When she wakes up--
"Seelix? What're you doing here?"
That voice, his voice, grates on your nerves. Both because the intrusion startled you, and because he's the one intruding. And that's your signal to leave. It's not like he'll want you around while he's brooding over her. And you're really not sure you could behave yourself around him right now.
"Just keeping Cally company, Chief," you grind out between clenched teeth. "Didn't want her to be waking up alone or anything."
"Oh. That's -- that's nice. I bet Cally'll appreciate it." You nod slowly, still not looking at him. "You eaten yet? I can sit with her if you wanna go get some grub."
Swallowing against the roiling in your stomach, you nod again and stand up to stretch. "Thanks, Chief. I should probably head out anyway. Cottle's been giving me weird looks for just sitting here." Better to keep silent and leave it at that than to say something that could cause trouble. He's still your boss, after all. But no, your frakking mouth decides to ignore your brain. "Besides, my boss might kick my ass if I'm late to work in the morning."
His chuckle doesn't quite sound authentic, but you don't think he's figured out why you're acting the way you are. "I know how that goes. Go on, Seelix. I'll take good care of her now."
You leave Sickbay quickly, tasting the metallic tang of blood from teeth pressed too heavily against your lips to prevent blurting out something you can't take back. No matter what you say at this point, you'll incriminate yourself somehow. And that can't happen.
Cally will see the error of her ways for loving him. No, she probably won't turn to you for comfort; that would be too perfect. But if friendship is all she'll accept from you at this point, then friendship's all she'll get. And you'll do whatever's necessary to change what you feel for her.
Because she's that important to you.
Because only those who were on Kobol could possibly understand.
Even if they don't know exactly what it is.