Lost
God, anymore I just feel so confused and lost.
A person I thought that I loved more than anything has just gotten me so confused I don't even know what I want anymore.
All I ever hear from people is, you two are so different, you come from two different backgrounds and two different worlds, you guys are nothing alike, it's just not going to work ... I dunno, I always put that out of my mind and went with my feelings. But it seems that all that has done thus far is just get me hurt. And it's pathetic, because I set myself up for a fall like this. You open up your feelings and trust towards someone and let them in, and you're just bound for dissapointment.
And it sucks. It fucking sucks because I have all these thoughts and feelings running through my head and all I can do is sit there and think, I am like the biggest idiot in the world.
Am I stupid for picking the certain guys that I pick, or are all guys just stupid?!? I really would love to know.
You put faith in someone, and they let you down. The story of my life.
You set expectations, and you're told that you're asking too much.
Is it really too much? To love someone and just want to feel loved back? Not just told, but consumed with the feeling of overwhelming love? Like shit, maybe I am crazy, maybe that is asking just too much.
And now I am just left with not knowing what I want anymore. Do I want to try to make it work? Is the hurt and deceiving worth the risk of putting myself out there? Is it? Who the hell knows. I really don't think it is ... and I am just waiting to be proved wrong, by a person that wants to prove me wrong and regain my faith in what we all know as "love". But, with my luck, I doubt that will ever happen. But I am tried of asking myself these questions because I just can't think about it anymore. And I am just tired of waiting.
I'm just tired, so tried and I feel so drained. This whole ordeal just takes more and more out of me everyday.
It's really sad, because we had so much .. how do you go from having so much to something so little?
I loved him, and a part of me still does, but I just don't know if it's worth it anymore when I don't feel that he feels the same thing back.
What do you do when you just don't feel appreciated, trusted, adored and loved? I think I'm worth that. I think I'm fucking worth that.
I'm just so uncertain of everything anymore .. I do know one thing though, I can't wait to get back up to Tally, where everything just makes more sense, well, seemes to make more sense .. where there are just so many eye opening things where I can find out more about myself. 25 days left, god, that's like over a month, it's going to take forever ..
A person I thought that I loved more than anything has just gotten me so confused I don't even know what I want anymore.
All I ever hear from people is, you two are so different, you come from two different backgrounds and two different worlds, you guys are nothing alike, it's just not going to work ... I dunno, I always put that out of my mind and went with my feelings. But it seems that all that has done thus far is just get me hurt. And it's pathetic, because I set myself up for a fall like this. You open up your feelings and trust towards someone and let them in, and you're just bound for dissapointment.
And it sucks. It fucking sucks because I have all these thoughts and feelings running through my head and all I can do is sit there and think, I am like the biggest idiot in the world.
Am I stupid for picking the certain guys that I pick, or are all guys just stupid?!? I really would love to know.
You put faith in someone, and they let you down. The story of my life.
You set expectations, and you're told that you're asking too much.
Is it really too much? To love someone and just want to feel loved back? Not just told, but consumed with the feeling of overwhelming love? Like shit, maybe I am crazy, maybe that is asking just too much.
And now I am just left with not knowing what I want anymore. Do I want to try to make it work? Is the hurt and deceiving worth the risk of putting myself out there? Is it? Who the hell knows. I really don't think it is ... and I am just waiting to be proved wrong, by a person that wants to prove me wrong and regain my faith in what we all know as "love". But, with my luck, I doubt that will ever happen. But I am tried of asking myself these questions because I just can't think about it anymore. And I am just tired of waiting.
I'm just tired, so tried and I feel so drained. This whole ordeal just takes more and more out of me everyday.
It's really sad, because we had so much .. how do you go from having so much to something so little?
I loved him, and a part of me still does, but I just don't know if it's worth it anymore when I don't feel that he feels the same thing back.
What do you do when you just don't feel appreciated, trusted, adored and loved? I think I'm worth that. I think I'm fucking worth that.
I'm just so uncertain of everything anymore .. I do know one thing though, I can't wait to get back up to Tally, where everything just makes more sense, well, seemes to make more sense .. where there are just so many eye opening things where I can find out more about myself. 25 days left, god, that's like over a month, it's going to take forever ..