(no subject)
"Courage is doing something even if you don't want to do it and doing it when you know it could kill you. Either wonder for the rest of your life; or do something about it. Stand up for once and take what you want; whatever that may be ..."
Someone very important told me that in May. Now, I'm learning all the things he was trying to show me for so long. Ever realize that you're just now learning something that could have saved you a long time ago? What kept me from learining all these things when I had the chance? What would be different if I had? Was it my determination to learn everything on my own and stand on my own? If it was, in the end, neither worked out for me. Now I sit here, trying to keep my mind busy, trying to keep it from following the familiar alleyways to resting on thoughts of him. Too bad the only way I can keep my mind busy is by shifting through old memories, rereading things, other things as such. All these only remind me of times when my life was smooth, when I felt loved. These things remind me of him even more. Of the way his smile used to be so quick, of how his laughter warms my heart. Of how his eyes seem to hold so much and his heart holds more. Of how his eyes drew me in and how his arms seemed to just fit around me. Of how he could make me feel beautiful, make me feel more like an angel. Of how I could feel my soul, heart and mind blossom when I was with him. Of how being around him always made me feel better, even if I was hurt or angry with him. Of how easily he seemed to be able to pull down all my defenses and get me talking when I really need to. Of all the times I held him, and kissed him, and just fell in love with him over and over. Of how every song I hear about broken hearts and endless loves remind me of him. All these things remind me of what I have lost. How can I ever truely let go?
~Ali~
Someone very important told me that in May. Now, I'm learning all the things he was trying to show me for so long. Ever realize that you're just now learning something that could have saved you a long time ago? What kept me from learining all these things when I had the chance? What would be different if I had? Was it my determination to learn everything on my own and stand on my own? If it was, in the end, neither worked out for me. Now I sit here, trying to keep my mind busy, trying to keep it from following the familiar alleyways to resting on thoughts of him. Too bad the only way I can keep my mind busy is by shifting through old memories, rereading things, other things as such. All these only remind me of times when my life was smooth, when I felt loved. These things remind me of him even more. Of the way his smile used to be so quick, of how his laughter warms my heart. Of how his eyes seem to hold so much and his heart holds more. Of how his eyes drew me in and how his arms seemed to just fit around me. Of how he could make me feel beautiful, make me feel more like an angel. Of how I could feel my soul, heart and mind blossom when I was with him. Of how being around him always made me feel better, even if I was hurt or angry with him. Of how easily he seemed to be able to pull down all my defenses and get me talking when I really need to. Of all the times I held him, and kissed him, and just fell in love with him over and over. Of how every song I hear about broken hearts and endless loves remind me of him. All these things remind me of what I have lost. How can I ever truely let go?
~Ali~