yeah, here it comes.
its surreal. it really is. and it just hasnt sunk in for me yet. im so glad to have soo many good memories. it will be so weird to go back to south next year and not find him there on the stage. i dont blame God or anybody. it was an accident. he wouldnt want us to dwell on this forever, i know that.
now i was pretty close to him so this is hard. but im coping. and this is how im coping. i dont want to talk about it. i just want to write and put my feelings out there. its too surreal still to talk about yet. so this is the best i can do.
ETA: ooh cullen just called. ;o) i love him. he definitely cheered me up. im glad hes coming home tomorrow.
but i love how even in the midst of one of the most horrible nights of our lives, a night which should not be about any one of us, there still has to be drama.
can people never stop?