(no subject)
Still not quite sure what I am doing. I am all packed up and ready to go sleeping on a sleeping bag. Part of me wants to leave but part of me is hurting so bad that I can't see straight sometimes.
Sarah is tearing me to pieces. She is doing this thing where she is trying to get used to be me bein gone so she is ignoring me. Won't take my calls, won't meet me anywhere, the only time I get to see her is when I catch her down at the beach and I pull her over. I am worried to death about that girl. Her heart is way too fragile right now.
If I do stick to my plan and leave then I will wait till John has his own place. That way I know that she has somewhere else to go and he will be there 90% of the time to take care of her. Right now he is only doing about 20% of what he should. But he has a lot on his hands. So I am looking around the first week of march, maybe the second. I have to be moved into my condo in NY by the end of march.
I will miss everyone. already do. the boys that worked the beat with me were incredible men. Va Bch Police is the most prestigous group of officers I have ever worked with.