"Load up on guns, bring your friends"
I woke up this morning feeling like shit. I didn't even want to open the door and see Mike. I just sat in my bed tearing up whenever I thought of my relationship with Mike. I thought of all the good moments that we would have where I wouldn't be able to hug him or give him a kiss. A huge lump in my throat seemed to move in and stay. I got up the balls to go use the shower and I ran into Mike when he came out of the bathroom. He smiled at me, despite the black lines under my red, puffy eyes and my almost cave man appearance. He asked me how I was and told me everything was okay.
Mike is so good. He is so good at making me feel better and not showing his emotions. After my shower, I went downstairs and we talked some more. I told him that I felt that I had made a mistake, but I didn't want to go back on my word, blah blah blah. He gave me a hug and told me it was better this way. We aren't in school, so all of our friends wouldn't be making this a bigger deal than it needed to be. We didn't do this over the phone while he was away, so we could work on just being friends. I feel like I've taken a positive step back. Back to before Mike and I dated; when we would just wander all over campus for hours at a time.
He is one of my best friends and I will always love him and care about him; but as a friend. It's weird being single again. I don't think I could have another boyfriend for a long time. I feel like every guy I will meet, I will compare to Mike. Losing the first love isn't so bad because I'm not actually losing him. He is still one of my best friends and he will be always. It's strange though; today, there were so many moments where I had to hold myself back from holding his hand or putting my hand on his leg.
Mike is so good. He is so good at making me feel better and not showing his emotions. After my shower, I went downstairs and we talked some more. I told him that I felt that I had made a mistake, but I didn't want to go back on my word, blah blah blah. He gave me a hug and told me it was better this way. We aren't in school, so all of our friends wouldn't be making this a bigger deal than it needed to be. We didn't do this over the phone while he was away, so we could work on just being friends. I feel like I've taken a positive step back. Back to before Mike and I dated; when we would just wander all over campus for hours at a time.
He is one of my best friends and I will always love him and care about him; but as a friend. It's weird being single again. I don't think I could have another boyfriend for a long time. I feel like every guy I will meet, I will compare to Mike. Losing the first love isn't so bad because I'm not actually losing him. He is still one of my best friends and he will be always. It's strange though; today, there were so many moments where I had to hold myself back from holding his hand or putting my hand on his leg.