Fail
By now, I must have failed Prob and Stat. This is horrible. I hope she takes pity on me and gives me a D.
This made me feel better though:
This is a story about a couple who had been
happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit farting
loudly every morning when he awoke The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife Well, you always told me that one
day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in."
Shelley sent me this and I laughed so hard I cried.
This made me feel better though:
This is a story about a couple who had been
happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit farting
loudly every morning when he awoke The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife Well, you always told me that one
day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in."
Shelley sent me this and I laughed so hard I cried.