Detour
I don't like detours. I like things to go according to plan. I like them to be organized and no bumps in the road.
If you will remember, I was hosting 7th grade girls at my home during this past weekend. Basically I needed to give them a floor to sleep on, some food and haul them back and forth to events all weekend long. No big deal. Just stay out of their way and let their college age leader do her thing. We're just the host home.
Yeah. Not so much.
I get to the church Friday night to pick up the luggage of my girls (7th grade girls bring a boat load of luggage for one weekend in case you didn't know this) and I'm told I need to report to the conference room for a meeting with our pastor.
The adult hosts get up there and immediately I sense something is wrong. I will commend our pastor on how he dealt with this issue. He hit it head on, gave us the facts and then gave us our instructions.
Our youth minister resigned Wednesday night after admitting that he had been having an inappropriate relationship with our 20 year old staff intern since August.
It was a kick in my stomach. The pastor told us after he met with us he planned on going down to the youth and letting them know. He told us we may have signed up to give them a floor to sleep on but welcome to student ministry...we were going to have to take on a different role.
I had 8 crying, confused, angry little girls at my house Friday night and I don't blame them one bit.
We are all so hurt...disappointed...betrayed...angry...sad.
But...now is the time to practice what we preach. Now is the time for a gut check. Where is our faith? Is it resting on a flawed man or is it in Christ, who is unfailing?
That was the message our pastor gave to our congregation yesterday. We don't shoot our wounded. There will be discipline, which is appropriate in this situation, but there will be grace as well. That same grace we want when we fail. That same grace God gives to us time and time again when we make mistakes. I certainly can't stand in any sort of judgment and there isn't a person among our congregation that can.
I sat down with my girls Friday night and told them they had every right to feel every single thing they were feeling but that they didn't need to let it sour their experience for the weekend. They needed to bathe all the parties involved in prayer and not try to fill in the gaps where we didn't know the facts. To remember we don't put our focus on people because people will fail us...betray us...hurt us...we put our focus on Christ.
Right before they made the announcement to the youth I got down to the building to try and catch Patrick. Patrick absolutely loves this youth minister and his wife. I couldn't get to him in time but he looked at me across the room as I walked in and he waved to me and all I could think was that his world was about to be rocked and I couldn't protect him from it. He was about to learn a very hard and painful lesson. When the pastor told the kids Patrick lowered his head and kept it down the rest of the time. I got to him later and asked if he was okay and he just mumbled that it was fine.
It's not fine right now. Times like these are what tests our faith. Times like these are when we are tempted to gossip and condemn and turn our back on those we think have offended us. But, as our wonderful pastor reminded us yesterday, times like these are when we practice what we preach. When we stand together and know that we will get through this and we will be okay.
I have no idea what will happen. I am pretty sure he won't be back in any capacity of serving in the youth ministry and that breaks my heart. This was his livelihood. His wife does not work at an outside job. They have a little girl. All that is gone now. He has a way of talking to the kids on their level and relating to them so well. He and his wife have served for 6 years with us and he has been a great leader. He has done good things and this mistake doesn't wipe all that away in my book.
According to our pastor he and his wife are committed to trying to reconcile their marriage and we as a church will support them in that in any way we can. Also, the staff intern grew up in our church...this is her home. We will not turn our back on her either.
But the next few weeks are going to be rough. Word is spreading through our community like wildfire. Rumors and gossip are already everywhere and I just pray our congregation can be disciplined in not trying to fill in those gaps where we don't know the answers.
Our pastor told us we would not pretend this didn't happen. We will not try and hide it or sweep it under the rug. We will face it head on and we will get through it.
The whole thing just makes me sad.
If you will remember, I was hosting 7th grade girls at my home during this past weekend. Basically I needed to give them a floor to sleep on, some food and haul them back and forth to events all weekend long. No big deal. Just stay out of their way and let their college age leader do her thing. We're just the host home.
Yeah. Not so much.
I get to the church Friday night to pick up the luggage of my girls (7th grade girls bring a boat load of luggage for one weekend in case you didn't know this) and I'm told I need to report to the conference room for a meeting with our pastor.
The adult hosts get up there and immediately I sense something is wrong. I will commend our pastor on how he dealt with this issue. He hit it head on, gave us the facts and then gave us our instructions.
Our youth minister resigned Wednesday night after admitting that he had been having an inappropriate relationship with our 20 year old staff intern since August.
It was a kick in my stomach. The pastor told us after he met with us he planned on going down to the youth and letting them know. He told us we may have signed up to give them a floor to sleep on but welcome to student ministry...we were going to have to take on a different role.
I had 8 crying, confused, angry little girls at my house Friday night and I don't blame them one bit.
We are all so hurt...disappointed...betrayed...angry...sad.
But...now is the time to practice what we preach. Now is the time for a gut check. Where is our faith? Is it resting on a flawed man or is it in Christ, who is unfailing?
That was the message our pastor gave to our congregation yesterday. We don't shoot our wounded. There will be discipline, which is appropriate in this situation, but there will be grace as well. That same grace we want when we fail. That same grace God gives to us time and time again when we make mistakes. I certainly can't stand in any sort of judgment and there isn't a person among our congregation that can.
I sat down with my girls Friday night and told them they had every right to feel every single thing they were feeling but that they didn't need to let it sour their experience for the weekend. They needed to bathe all the parties involved in prayer and not try to fill in the gaps where we didn't know the facts. To remember we don't put our focus on people because people will fail us...betray us...hurt us...we put our focus on Christ.
Right before they made the announcement to the youth I got down to the building to try and catch Patrick. Patrick absolutely loves this youth minister and his wife. I couldn't get to him in time but he looked at me across the room as I walked in and he waved to me and all I could think was that his world was about to be rocked and I couldn't protect him from it. He was about to learn a very hard and painful lesson. When the pastor told the kids Patrick lowered his head and kept it down the rest of the time. I got to him later and asked if he was okay and he just mumbled that it was fine.
It's not fine right now. Times like these are what tests our faith. Times like these are when we are tempted to gossip and condemn and turn our back on those we think have offended us. But, as our wonderful pastor reminded us yesterday, times like these are when we practice what we preach. When we stand together and know that we will get through this and we will be okay.
I have no idea what will happen. I am pretty sure he won't be back in any capacity of serving in the youth ministry and that breaks my heart. This was his livelihood. His wife does not work at an outside job. They have a little girl. All that is gone now. He has a way of talking to the kids on their level and relating to them so well. He and his wife have served for 6 years with us and he has been a great leader. He has done good things and this mistake doesn't wipe all that away in my book.
According to our pastor he and his wife are committed to trying to reconcile their marriage and we as a church will support them in that in any way we can. Also, the staff intern grew up in our church...this is her home. We will not turn our back on her either.
But the next few weeks are going to be rough. Word is spreading through our community like wildfire. Rumors and gossip are already everywhere and I just pray our congregation can be disciplined in not trying to fill in those gaps where we don't know the answers.
Our pastor told us we would not pretend this didn't happen. We will not try and hide it or sweep it under the rug. We will face it head on and we will get through it.
The whole thing just makes me sad.