(no subject)
I've been reading through old LJ posts and reliving the days when I was more interesting. Contemplating that life is actually just more interesting when you're figuring things out and, oh yeah, young and have energy to do things like stay up to god awful hours doing misguided things.
I've found as I've aged that my body allows me to get away with less and less. I cant even eat a pint of ice cream in one sitting without serious repurcussions anymore - never mind close the bar down.
Moderation, while physically enjoyable and advised, is not packed full o' fun.
Also the day job has really curbed my bad behaviour. The requirement to be at ones desk at 9:30am can really act as a deterent to bad choices.
Though as I reflect I also see that alot of the "fun and excitement" I was having was exploring parts of myself that I've since realized aren't me. Kink parties and the like. Still kinky, but only in a monogomous relationship with someone I love. Used to be poly - lots of action and drama there - I got over Poly. One person to love would do me just fine at this point. :)
My highlights these days are spending time with my beautiful niece, and going to the MCC church with my good friends.
I work at a job that pays me well in a field that I love. I walk the dog. Clean the apartment. Go to church followed by lunch. Play with the baby and visit with my sister on mat leave. Visit her inlaws in Bramptom, watch Bollywood and eat Indian Food. Go to therapy. Think about going to the gym.
That's life on most days. Though even in that mundanity is still the essence of who I am. I don't think I'm fundamentally changing - but I'm definitely changing the way that I express myself.
I guess the point of this post is that life, while less interesting, is also more peaceful and secure and I like that.
I've found as I've aged that my body allows me to get away with less and less. I cant even eat a pint of ice cream in one sitting without serious repurcussions anymore - never mind close the bar down.
Moderation, while physically enjoyable and advised, is not packed full o' fun.
Also the day job has really curbed my bad behaviour. The requirement to be at ones desk at 9:30am can really act as a deterent to bad choices.
Though as I reflect I also see that alot of the "fun and excitement" I was having was exploring parts of myself that I've since realized aren't me. Kink parties and the like. Still kinky, but only in a monogomous relationship with someone I love. Used to be poly - lots of action and drama there - I got over Poly. One person to love would do me just fine at this point. :)
My highlights these days are spending time with my beautiful niece, and going to the MCC church with my good friends.
I work at a job that pays me well in a field that I love. I walk the dog. Clean the apartment. Go to church followed by lunch. Play with the baby and visit with my sister on mat leave. Visit her inlaws in Bramptom, watch Bollywood and eat Indian Food. Go to therapy. Think about going to the gym.
That's life on most days. Though even in that mundanity is still the essence of who I am. I don't think I'm fundamentally changing - but I'm definitely changing the way that I express myself.
I guess the point of this post is that life, while less interesting, is also more peaceful and secure and I like that.