the burden of freedom
I generally think that freedom is a very burdensome thing. In a way, I don’t resent people who take it for granted or become lazy about it, because being really free is a lot of work.
And it’s overwhelming.
I have a postsecret photo on my bedroom wall that says,
“Sometimes I am envious of women unburdened by the freedom to be anything they want to be when they grow up”
I’m not really envious, but otherwise this accurately sums up how I feel about life. How it feels to be trapped in intelligence. By “promise” and “potential.” I sometimes wonder if I became depressed as a child because I found the burden of being quick-minded but trapped in mediocre settings too unbearable. So much freedom to choose becomes paralyzing and intimidating.
I find it difficult to express how there are so many things I want need to write and want to do but they’re slipping past me because I keep losing track and forgetting.
I certainly don’t have “genius” levels, but I feel alienated by the modern world because I can’t ever turn “it” off. I’ve been criticized by past lovers for being too “analytical” and “rational”, and people think that intellectualism means being out of touch with one’s emotions, but the truth is I’m a highly emotive person.
I, despise, with every. fiber. of. my. being. the question, “So what are you going to do with that [degree]?”
And it’s overwhelming.
I have a postsecret photo on my bedroom wall that says,
“Sometimes I am envious of women unburdened by the freedom to be anything they want to be when they grow up”
I’m not really envious, but otherwise this accurately sums up how I feel about life. How it feels to be trapped in intelligence. By “promise” and “potential.” I sometimes wonder if I became depressed as a child because I found the burden of being quick-minded but trapped in mediocre settings too unbearable. So much freedom to choose becomes paralyzing and intimidating.
I find it difficult to express how there are so many things I want need to write and want to do but they’re slipping past me because I keep losing track and forgetting.
I certainly don’t have “genius” levels, but I feel alienated by the modern world because I can’t ever turn “it” off. I’ve been criticized by past lovers for being too “analytical” and “rational”, and people think that intellectualism means being out of touch with one’s emotions, but the truth is I’m a highly emotive person.
I, despise, with every. fiber. of. my. being. the question, “So what are you going to do with that [degree]?”