Losing It
i'm pretty sure that i'm losing it.
i'm back at my house (i don't say home) and things are changing.
My mother is with her mother, in New York. She's been there for about a year, i doubt she'll be home soon. My father is here with his sister who just got out of rehab and has no other place to stay, and WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. i know i should be more mature. but jesus christ. Yeah my parents are still married and he says that he loves my mom and mom tells me that i shouldn't worry about their "adult stuff" when i ask her if she still loves dad. FUCK MY PARENTS. FUCK MY FUCKING FAMILY. i don't want to talk to my brother. he's a fucking moron. i hate this keyboard. i don't know what to do with my self. and my best friend is a guy and i don't know why that bothers me... There is no one i can talk to. i'm fucking losing it. i feel like i don't have a place. anywhere. i think it would be easiest if i really just lost it all. went catatnoic or something. man.
Fucking girlfriend. Midge is her name. FUCK MIDGE... wait, that's my dad's job.
There's wine in the fridge. and i asked my dad whose it was (cause i know my aunt isn't aloud to be drinking, and he never has because of a lot of alcoholism in his family), and he tells me it's his, because he started getting drunk "since your mother left". What the fuck. while he and my aunt were out today (she was at work, and i suspect he was with Midge) i had a few swigs (damn good), slammed some doors, and broke a leg off a kitchen chair. i found a note my dad had wrote to his girlfriend... or should i say, "true love"... direct quote.
i'm not sure if my grandma getting sick was just a convenient way for my mom to leave. i believe so. FUCK THEM.
yeah, i'm a little bitter...
i'm back at my house (i don't say home) and things are changing.
My mother is with her mother, in New York. She's been there for about a year, i doubt she'll be home soon. My father is here with his sister who just got out of rehab and has no other place to stay, and WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. i know i should be more mature. but jesus christ. Yeah my parents are still married and he says that he loves my mom and mom tells me that i shouldn't worry about their "adult stuff" when i ask her if she still loves dad. FUCK MY PARENTS. FUCK MY FUCKING FAMILY. i don't want to talk to my brother. he's a fucking moron. i hate this keyboard. i don't know what to do with my self. and my best friend is a guy and i don't know why that bothers me... There is no one i can talk to. i'm fucking losing it. i feel like i don't have a place. anywhere. i think it would be easiest if i really just lost it all. went catatnoic or something. man.
Fucking girlfriend. Midge is her name. FUCK MIDGE... wait, that's my dad's job.
There's wine in the fridge. and i asked my dad whose it was (cause i know my aunt isn't aloud to be drinking, and he never has because of a lot of alcoholism in his family), and he tells me it's his, because he started getting drunk "since your mother left". What the fuck. while he and my aunt were out today (she was at work, and i suspect he was with Midge) i had a few swigs (damn good), slammed some doors, and broke a leg off a kitchen chair. i found a note my dad had wrote to his girlfriend... or should i say, "true love"... direct quote.
i'm not sure if my grandma getting sick was just a convenient way for my mom to leave. i believe so. FUCK THEM.
yeah, i'm a little bitter...