(no subject)
hey. it's been awhile, but it's ok. i'm lazy.
anyway, i've been thinking a lot lately about death. i'll explain why...
the other night, i went to bed around 12:30. i was really tired but i never remembered falling asleep. so, i start hearing these really weird noises, and then got this horrible feeling, like the feeling that you get when you know that something horrible is about to happen to you. it's not really easy to explain, because to tell you the truth, i don't really understand it myself. but anyway, my body started trembling and i had these crazy cold chills going through my body, and i just knew that something was coming down upon me. i could hear something moving and everything, and then it stopped. i guess that's when i woke up, but when i did i was afraid to move. i really thought something was about to happen, but nothing ever did. i looked around and realized that there was nothing there, and decided it was a dream.
but that's why i've thought about it a lot. what would have happened if someone really was in my room about to kill me?
i've asked myself all of these different questions about life and death, because i really could die at any minute. it's crazy to think about. and it bothers me when people hold themselves back, and don't try to enjoy life and live the life that they want. people are always so worried about how they look and what people think about them that they forget how to actually have fun. i mean, it's your only time on earth, and it could end at any minute.
i think that if i were to die, i would be okay with it, because i'm happy with who i am and what i've done.
but me being able to accept it wouldn't really matter though, because my life would be over. i've always wondered what life would be like if i were to die. would it really affect other people's lives? would anyone other than the few people that i'm close to actually care? would anyone other than my family be at my funeral? ahh it's crazy to think about, because you never know.
ok. sorry. i know most of that probably doesn't really make any sense, but it was on my mind and i had to get it out. but yeah, i don't want to die, i just want to know what it would be like if i did.
but anyway, i'm going to bed. hopefully i'll talk to everyone later...
anyway, i've been thinking a lot lately about death. i'll explain why...
the other night, i went to bed around 12:30. i was really tired but i never remembered falling asleep. so, i start hearing these really weird noises, and then got this horrible feeling, like the feeling that you get when you know that something horrible is about to happen to you. it's not really easy to explain, because to tell you the truth, i don't really understand it myself. but anyway, my body started trembling and i had these crazy cold chills going through my body, and i just knew that something was coming down upon me. i could hear something moving and everything, and then it stopped. i guess that's when i woke up, but when i did i was afraid to move. i really thought something was about to happen, but nothing ever did. i looked around and realized that there was nothing there, and decided it was a dream.
but that's why i've thought about it a lot. what would have happened if someone really was in my room about to kill me?
i've asked myself all of these different questions about life and death, because i really could die at any minute. it's crazy to think about. and it bothers me when people hold themselves back, and don't try to enjoy life and live the life that they want. people are always so worried about how they look and what people think about them that they forget how to actually have fun. i mean, it's your only time on earth, and it could end at any minute.
i think that if i were to die, i would be okay with it, because i'm happy with who i am and what i've done.
but me being able to accept it wouldn't really matter though, because my life would be over. i've always wondered what life would be like if i were to die. would it really affect other people's lives? would anyone other than the few people that i'm close to actually care? would anyone other than my family be at my funeral? ahh it's crazy to think about, because you never know.
ok. sorry. i know most of that probably doesn't really make any sense, but it was on my mind and i had to get it out. but yeah, i don't want to die, i just want to know what it would be like if i did.
but anyway, i'm going to bed. hopefully i'll talk to everyone later...