The awesomeness is exponential ;)
I feel a whole lot better now :D I've managed to simplify my life, thinking and decisions. This seems to be a whole lot more comfortable. I'm done fighting every thread of existance. It doesn't work, so why? I knew a long time ago that I needed to just wait it out, just let it ride no matter what until I came to the obvious conclusions. Now you're prolly wondering, as you read this, "what in the heck is that supposed to mean?"
Well, if I'm going along and acting upon what feels right to me, what is consistant with who I am and what i beleive, then each step I take will be right and true, because I trust in myself. That stuff really forms a tight circle...it's the way things work. In order to break that chain and create another, it takes a strong will and major dedication. One has to be sure.
That's the thing, I haven't been sure of anything in a long time. So full of maybes and non-committal bullshit. That's part of what made me put hate into myself, and into so much of what I saw around me. By allowing myself to be completely free and unattached to anything, i could neither embrace nor reject anything. It left me in a constant state of purgatory that I had to want to get out of. I didn't, at least not until very recently. It has taken me so very much time, and so very much agony.
I kept throwing shit away. More and more...until there was nothing left and I was forced to start out fresh. To some, it may sound easy, to others it is difficult. So if you think of it, every cpin has 2 sides and there is a vanatge point. Really, if you never saw the other side, and never had a way to figure out what was there, how do you do it? You either travel there, or you set up an experiment to figure it out. A lot of times it's both! You make your hypothesis and get together some educated guesses...then you have a good idea of what needs to happen to reach that other side.
It's funny, the best ways I learned how to come to the simplest, and most effective conclusions came from school and social intereactions(which happens at school whether you like it or not) Unfortunately, it is difficult to teach something with a direct method, there just is no hands-on intereaction to back it up and prove it's validity. Really though, when's the last time someone came right out and gave you a lecture and you had the patience, time, attention span, knowledge basis and(to top it off) the willingness to sit through it? Most would say never.
If you can be Johnny mnemonic about it and upload the shit, you got one on me. But don't you recall what happened there? That ability was facilitated by the addition of a device, coupled with training, intelligence, a certain cultuarl backround that supports the mind set to handle it. What did it do when taken to far? Shit was fucked up!
Perhaps I can reign this in for you.... I'm teaching you right now, I'm showing you what I'm thinking by putting forth illustrations, known symbols and forms of communication. I am doing what I can to braoden the spectrum and make sure that most who read this have a reasonable template to really "get it". It's actually impossible to span out and have everyone read one little thing and know exactly. That's why we have individual conversations with eachother for somethings, and put it up in bulletins to reach a larger audience with less effort.
I;m sure i talk about it a lot, enough of you have had to listen to me blather away about what I've learned, and where I learned it and who's responsible for warping my precious little impressionable mind ;) heehee Actually though, whether we like some of the shitty learning processes or not, it's not usually optional. There's a lot to learn from everything you experinece, whether it's school or some fucked up situations. Gp ahead, sit there and say "Fuck this shit, I do not want to be here and I do not see where in the fuck all this is applicable". Guess what? If you're experienceing it, it most certainly is! I hate to put of this "everything happens for a reason" type of thing, but what it boils down to is that if you're there, you're there, and there's always a choice to be made.
So, here I am, typing away, enjoying this a little too much ;) I really want to send out some major thatnks to Those who have focused a whole lot of time and energy and really helped me. 'm above and beyond appreciative! I love to show those that I care about, those that i know care about me, that I am endlessly thankful. This thanks is nicely bundled in with the friendships I share with others. I love to share, it's important. I also know it's important to care for myself. Well, "no man is an island" So the obvious answer to that is reasonable collabortation and togetherness. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a "collective". What I'm looking for is a give and take thing and mutual respect. Whatever brings that toghther, is fine by me. I live variety for somethings, and solidarity for others. I AM a walking, talking contradiction.....So much fun! Hooray! *sticks tongue out*
So, now that I've gone off on a tangeant and taxed my poor wittle tired ol brain, I'm quite finished with this linw of thought. Oh, and special thanks to the most recent edition of family of friends!
-Megan
Well, if I'm going along and acting upon what feels right to me, what is consistant with who I am and what i beleive, then each step I take will be right and true, because I trust in myself. That stuff really forms a tight circle...it's the way things work. In order to break that chain and create another, it takes a strong will and major dedication. One has to be sure.
That's the thing, I haven't been sure of anything in a long time. So full of maybes and non-committal bullshit. That's part of what made me put hate into myself, and into so much of what I saw around me. By allowing myself to be completely free and unattached to anything, i could neither embrace nor reject anything. It left me in a constant state of purgatory that I had to want to get out of. I didn't, at least not until very recently. It has taken me so very much time, and so very much agony.
I kept throwing shit away. More and more...until there was nothing left and I was forced to start out fresh. To some, it may sound easy, to others it is difficult. So if you think of it, every cpin has 2 sides and there is a vanatge point. Really, if you never saw the other side, and never had a way to figure out what was there, how do you do it? You either travel there, or you set up an experiment to figure it out. A lot of times it's both! You make your hypothesis and get together some educated guesses...then you have a good idea of what needs to happen to reach that other side.
It's funny, the best ways I learned how to come to the simplest, and most effective conclusions came from school and social intereactions(which happens at school whether you like it or not) Unfortunately, it is difficult to teach something with a direct method, there just is no hands-on intereaction to back it up and prove it's validity. Really though, when's the last time someone came right out and gave you a lecture and you had the patience, time, attention span, knowledge basis and(to top it off) the willingness to sit through it? Most would say never.
If you can be Johnny mnemonic about it and upload the shit, you got one on me. But don't you recall what happened there? That ability was facilitated by the addition of a device, coupled with training, intelligence, a certain cultuarl backround that supports the mind set to handle it. What did it do when taken to far? Shit was fucked up!
Perhaps I can reign this in for you.... I'm teaching you right now, I'm showing you what I'm thinking by putting forth illustrations, known symbols and forms of communication. I am doing what I can to braoden the spectrum and make sure that most who read this have a reasonable template to really "get it". It's actually impossible to span out and have everyone read one little thing and know exactly. That's why we have individual conversations with eachother for somethings, and put it up in bulletins to reach a larger audience with less effort.
I;m sure i talk about it a lot, enough of you have had to listen to me blather away about what I've learned, and where I learned it and who's responsible for warping my precious little impressionable mind ;) heehee Actually though, whether we like some of the shitty learning processes or not, it's not usually optional. There's a lot to learn from everything you experinece, whether it's school or some fucked up situations. Gp ahead, sit there and say "Fuck this shit, I do not want to be here and I do not see where in the fuck all this is applicable". Guess what? If you're experienceing it, it most certainly is! I hate to put of this "everything happens for a reason" type of thing, but what it boils down to is that if you're there, you're there, and there's always a choice to be made.
So, here I am, typing away, enjoying this a little too much ;) I really want to send out some major thatnks to Those who have focused a whole lot of time and energy and really helped me. 'm above and beyond appreciative! I love to show those that I care about, those that i know care about me, that I am endlessly thankful. This thanks is nicely bundled in with the friendships I share with others. I love to share, it's important. I also know it's important to care for myself. Well, "no man is an island" So the obvious answer to that is reasonable collabortation and togetherness. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a "collective". What I'm looking for is a give and take thing and mutual respect. Whatever brings that toghther, is fine by me. I live variety for somethings, and solidarity for others. I AM a walking, talking contradiction.....So much fun! Hooray! *sticks tongue out*
So, now that I've gone off on a tangeant and taxed my poor wittle tired ol brain, I'm quite finished with this linw of thought. Oh, and special thanks to the most recent edition of family of friends!
-Megan