(no subject)
I'm done. I refuse to take pride in an institution where those above me go behind my back to have me removed, where those in any sort of leadership position strive only for their only personal interests, and those who are supposed to help me don't trust me. I just had a doctor accuse me of being sick because I didn't want to be here. If I didn't want to be here I'd have left a long time ago. With all the shit I've been dragged through here, if that was the issue I could have solved it a year ago and saved myself the trouble I've been through since then.
Where is the pride in the institution? Everything I have found here centers around selfish, individual pride. Arrogance stemming from ones own personal accomplishments. Congratulations, you're the best. Surrounded by the rest of the best. Try stepping off your self-proclaimed pedestals and genuinely interact with those around you. I have no desire to be a part of this "long blue line." I have no desire to pledge my life in service to a force whose priorities are golf courses and remote controls. I am wasting my time and theirs.
Maybe this will make your right choice clearer. Maybe it will make it easier. To run and be safe, guarding yourself from the risk. Maybe this will help you to see things, to see me, in a different light. Maybe this has nothing to do with you. I don't really know.
I'm not scared like I was. I have an answer, for the first time since I came to this place. I don't have a clear direction, I only know that my place is not here. It's going to kill me to say goodbye, but hopefully knowing that I don't belong here will carry me through. I can't let go of everything. Never of the people here. But maybe they'll be better off without the burden that I am.
I haven't decided anything for sure just yet. This was just me sitting down this morning and writing what I've been thinking about. No decisions. I've got to give things more time, if only to let my temper cool down first.
Where is the pride in the institution? Everything I have found here centers around selfish, individual pride. Arrogance stemming from ones own personal accomplishments. Congratulations, you're the best. Surrounded by the rest of the best. Try stepping off your self-proclaimed pedestals and genuinely interact with those around you. I have no desire to be a part of this "long blue line." I have no desire to pledge my life in service to a force whose priorities are golf courses and remote controls. I am wasting my time and theirs.
Maybe this will make your right choice clearer. Maybe it will make it easier. To run and be safe, guarding yourself from the risk. Maybe this will help you to see things, to see me, in a different light. Maybe this has nothing to do with you. I don't really know.
I'm not scared like I was. I have an answer, for the first time since I came to this place. I don't have a clear direction, I only know that my place is not here. It's going to kill me to say goodbye, but hopefully knowing that I don't belong here will carry me through. I can't let go of everything. Never of the people here. But maybe they'll be better off without the burden that I am.
I haven't decided anything for sure just yet. This was just me sitting down this morning and writing what I've been thinking about. No decisions. I've got to give things more time, if only to let my temper cool down first.