Fic: The Nanny
Title: The Nanny
Author: ariales
Rating: PG, Gen
Characters: Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura
Wordcount: ~740
Warning: Unbetaed, poor attempt at humor.
Summary: After a jutsu goes wrong, Naruto and Sasuke turns back into toddlers. Kakashi is forced to take care of them.
***
“Shouldn’t Sakura be more appropriate for this job?” Kakashi asks.
“Sakura is currently on her way to Iwa to study this medical jutsu and will be returning once she figures out how to reverse the technique made on those idiots,” Tsunade says as she gestures at the two small figures sitting on the corner. “In the meantime, you take care of them.”
“With all due respect, Hokage-sama,” he says politely, “I really don’t think I am the most suited person for this. I’ve killed many dangerous ninjas before. I grew up under the tutelage of the Fourth Hokage. I have learned how to master the Sharingan despite my non-Uchiha bloodline. I think my credentials speak for themselves.”
Tsunade points a finger at him. “And that is exactly why you’re going to do this. You will be taking under your wing two of the most powerful ninjas ever born - a jinchuuriki and the sole heir of the Uchiha.” Tsunade bares her teeth at him in a smile. “I think this is just the perfect job for an elite like you.”
Kakashi stares at a wide-eyed Naruto who is sucking on his thumb, then at Sasuke who is scowling at the world, his chubby little arms crossed against his chest.
“I hate my life,” Kakashi says.
***
Kakashi is not sure if Naruto and Sasuke could still understand him with their current status and all, but Sasuke seems to hate him while Naruto keeps trying to pull his mask off, so Kakashi thinks nothing really changed that much.
Kakashi gently pries Naruto’s chubby hand off him. Little Naruto shrieks and holds on to his finger while squeezing hard. Really hard.
Ow. Kakashi winces.
Little Naruto squeals in delight.
He puts them both in a crib and Sasuke immediately sits down to scowl properly at him. Naruto lifts his arms towards him, tries to clap his hands together and makes goo-ing noises for Kakashi to pick him up again.
“No Naruto. You stay there and sleep,” kakashi says sternly.
Little Naruto’s lip quivers and before Kakashi could do anything else, Naruto lets out an earsplitting cry.
"Aw, no,” Kakashi starts.
Sasuke glares at him even more before he reaches out to tap Naruto lightly on the head. Crying, Naruto glances at him as Sasuke shakes a rattle. Kakashi watches as Naruto slowly stifles his cries, wide blue eyes following the movements of the toy. Sasuke pushes the rattle into Naruto’s chubby hands, and Naruto stares at it for a moment before he tries to shake it himself. He laughs at the sound, completely forgetting Kakashi for the moment. Sasuke pats Naruto’s head again and Naruto purrs with delight.
Kakashi stares and thinks, well. All right.
Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad after all.
***
He rethinks that statement after feeding the toddlers ramen.
What? He can’t cook for shit.
And anyway, little Naruto fucking loves ramen. He keeps on making pleased noises as he slurps the soup from the spoon Kakashi is shoving in his mouth.
Sasuke is a different matter though. He flings the bowl on the floor when Kakashi places it in front him. Then for good measure, he throws his spoon at Kakashi’s face.
Kakashi wipes the soggy noodle off his cheek but can’t help the smile that is creeping up his face. He is grudgingly proud of his student’s aim.
Unfortunately, Naruto thinks this is a fun game Sasuke has devised and decides to throw his own bowl on Kakashi’s crotch before letting out an infectious laugh.
***
Sakura gets back that night after learning how to reverse the jutsu done on Naruto and Sasuke. She isn’t pleased to know that Kakashi made them eat ramen for lunch. She is even less impressed when she catches him putting the babies to sleep.
"You’re reading them gay porn as a bedtime story!” she shrieks.
“Ah,” Kakashi says as he marks the page of the book he is reading. “But it’s gay porn with a plot.”
There is a short silence as Sakura gapes at him. Sasuke makes a soft noise as he turns in his sleep and cuddles a sleeping Naruto.
"Sasuke seems to really like it,” he offers.
He is really grateful he is one badass ninja, which is the only reason he manages to dodge the punch Sakura gives him.
***
When Kakashi takes two S-class missions the next day, no one asks why.
It is less stressful than taking care of babies, he decides.
THE END.