(no subject)
So I've been wanting to do this for a while, and it's going to be really hard but I'm going to leave this entry completely public.
This is an open letter of apology to anyone I've come in contact with in the last six years. I'm sorry if I've ever been a bitch, or seemed like I hated you, or anything like that. To be quite honest, I don't really remember the last six years of my life. There are little blips here and there, but it's mostly all a blur. I've been told stuff that's happened or stuff that I've done and I have no memory of it. My mom has told me stuff that makes me want to curl up into myself and disappear. I wish I could go back and take a lot of this stuff back.
Most of the reason I only had one close friend/don't really have any friends anymore is probably my fault, and I realise that now. Like I said, I don't remember a lot of the stuff I've done, but I'm sure I deserved everything that came my way. I'm actually almost crying as I type this up, because it's just making me realise how truly alone I am. I really don't have anyone I can talk to anymore. The one person that I used to be able to tell everything thinks I'm a shit friend, and I probably am. I don't even know anymore, most of the time I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. It hurts even more that she's moved on and has a best friend/best friends again, and I have nothing. Yes, you, you know I'm talking about you. And yeah, it hurts a lot thinking about what we had and how we'll probably never have it again. You were my best friend in the entire world, and I miss that like hell. I wish I could just re-do the last year, stop all this stupid stuff before it even started. I wish I still had a best friend, no not even a best friend, a second sister. You were so much more than a best friend, you were my family. It hurts that you still have a relationship with Lisa. I know that makes me sound petty and jealous, but it's true. I'm sorry for anything and everything that I've ever done, because I'm sure I don't remember most of what I did. Which is why I was so confused when all of a sudden you hated me and didn't want to be friends with me anymore.
This is getting long and off track. Basically I'm sorry to anyone I've wronged in the last six years, I really truly am.
To new friends: Sorry this is the first new post you're seeing, I'll try to post something happy soon haha.
This is an open letter of apology to anyone I've come in contact with in the last six years. I'm sorry if I've ever been a bitch, or seemed like I hated you, or anything like that. To be quite honest, I don't really remember the last six years of my life. There are little blips here and there, but it's mostly all a blur. I've been told stuff that's happened or stuff that I've done and I have no memory of it. My mom has told me stuff that makes me want to curl up into myself and disappear. I wish I could go back and take a lot of this stuff back.
Most of the reason I only had one close friend/don't really have any friends anymore is probably my fault, and I realise that now. Like I said, I don't remember a lot of the stuff I've done, but I'm sure I deserved everything that came my way. I'm actually almost crying as I type this up, because it's just making me realise how truly alone I am. I really don't have anyone I can talk to anymore. The one person that I used to be able to tell everything thinks I'm a shit friend, and I probably am. I don't even know anymore, most of the time I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. It hurts even more that she's moved on and has a best friend/best friends again, and I have nothing. Yes, you, you know I'm talking about you. And yeah, it hurts a lot thinking about what we had and how we'll probably never have it again. You were my best friend in the entire world, and I miss that like hell. I wish I could just re-do the last year, stop all this stupid stuff before it even started. I wish I still had a best friend, no not even a best friend, a second sister. You were so much more than a best friend, you were my family. It hurts that you still have a relationship with Lisa. I know that makes me sound petty and jealous, but it's true. I'm sorry for anything and everything that I've ever done, because I'm sure I don't remember most of what I did. Which is why I was so confused when all of a sudden you hated me and didn't want to be friends with me anymore.
This is getting long and off track. Basically I'm sorry to anyone I've wronged in the last six years, I really truly am.
To new friends: Sorry this is the first new post you're seeing, I'll try to post something happy soon haha.