Damaged Not Broken 7/7 + Epilogue
Title: Damaged Not Broken
Author: ariafree (Moria)
Rating: R
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, OFCs, Tom Welling, Chad Michael Murray, Michael Rosenbaum, Adrianne Palicki and Christian Kane
Pairings: Jared/Jensen; Jensen/Tom
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the individuals mentioned above (with the exception of my 2 OFCs), I'm merely a writer wanting to tell a story.
Warnings/Spoilers: AU; MPREG; FEMSLASH
Summary: Jared Padalecki was a real player in high school. When 15 year old Aly knocks on his door claiming to be his daughter he soon realizes he has to confront his past head on. At the top of that list? Jensen Ackles. Aly's other father.
AN: I've made Jensen and Jared roughly the same age in this fic just so you're aware.
It was past time I started posting this 'verse to my LJ. Also, this 'verse is incredibly special to me. It's one of my absolute favorites that I've written and I just love living in this world. :)
Chapter 7:
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
“Where are we going?” Jensen asked as soon as he’d climbed into the cab of the truck.
Jared laughed, shaking his head. “Has anyone ever told you, you’re impatient? Haven’t you learned by now that if I’m keeping secrets from you it’s usually a good thing? I mean, what ever happened to the element of surprise?”
Jensen shrugged. “Oh, I know. I just like knowing ahead of time where I’m going, so I can plan things accordingly,” he replied.
Jared sighed softly. “Okay, I get your point. But it kind of defeats the purpose of a destination adventure, don’t ya think?”
“Yeah, probably,” Jensen freely admitted. He looked out the passenger window at the houses and businesses in town they passed as Jared drove.
They pulled into the parking lot of the local ice cream shop. Jared turned toward Jensen with a broad grin on his face.
“You wanted dessert, right, Jen?”
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but I’ll take it,” Jensen replied, following Jared as the other man headed into the building. He suddenly found himself surrounded by Jared’s all-encompassing heat when Jared pulled him close, easily slipping his hand into the back pocket of Jensen’s well-worn yet tight-fitting jeans.
“What flavor do you want, baby?” Jared murmured in Jensen’s ear. Jensen felt a shiver slide down his spine, his heart picking up speed as Jared’s lips and tongue grazed the outer shell of his ear. Swallowing convulsively, he willed himself to focus on Jared’s question rather than how warm he’d become just from thinking about things he really shouldn’t be in public.
“Chocolate,” he choked out, proud of himself for that small feat as he gave Jared a smile. Jared nodded, kissing the side of Jensen’s head before untangling himself from his boyfriend and making his way toward the counter to take their order.
Looking over his shoulder, his bangs falling into his eyes making him appear even sexier if it were possible, Jared’s heart swelled as he watched Jensen’s eyes flit over the other customers, trying to amuse himself while waiting on Jared to bring them their ice cream. There were moments like right now that he still couldn’t fully believe that Jensen was his boyfriend. He’d been hoping for it to happen for the past sixteen years. Now to suddenly have his greatest heart’s desire? To say that he was still incredibly overwhelmed by it all didn’t even come close to covering it.
Catching Jensen’s eye he mouthed “I love you,” winking at the other man as he did so. Heat curled in his belly, watching Jensen’s face flush. Jared felt rather proud of himself for being the one to put that look on Jensen’s face just with a simple movement of his eye.
Finally getting the cones he’d ordered, Jared made his way over to his boyfriend’s side, handing Jensen his cone, while beginning to devour his own.
“So, you ready to get out of here?” Jared whispered, his words coming out raw at the edges as the pure, nearly animalistic hunger he was feeling began leaking through his voice.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Jensen said, his own voice roughened and thick from the ice cream already coating his throat. Jared sighed heavily, taking a hold of Jensen’s hand in his own, smiling to himself as their fingers intertwined, attempting to ignore the twist in his gut that had made its presence known the minute Jensen’s voice began sounding drenched with want instead of just his normal southern twang.
After getting into the truck and gunning the motor, Jared pulled out of the parking lot as effortlessly as he’d first pulled into it. Heading towards the outskirts of town, Jared finished up his ice cream, watching as Jensen did the same. Biting back a grin he watched in amusement as Jensen’s fingers drummed on his leg in time to the song playing over the radio.
Within a matter of minutes they’d pulled off the road, the truck resting on an embankment overlooking Maryvale. Jared made sure the truck bed was facing all the beauty their small town presented. Getting out of the truck, he stretched, popping his back before turning his attention once again to his boyfriend.
Coming around to the passenger side of his truck Jared opened the door, holding a hand out for Jensen, which the other man took, squeezing briefly as he jumped out of the cab.
“Jared, what is this place?” Jensen asked, looking around him.
“Well, Jen, this is where I used to come when we were back in high school whenever I wanted to be alone. Especially after I’d just lost a game. Back then, as I’m sure you remember, I was a real ass. I thought I was goddamned royalty at Maryvale High and should be treated like it. But coming here and looking up at the sky, watching the stars come out, the whole experience made me feel really small, insignificant, ya know? It humbled me a bit. And being a seventeen-year-old guy who thought the world revolved around me I needed that in my life,” Jared admitted quietly, running a hand through his hair nervously. It pretty much terrified him having Jensen here with him, being so open and honest about a part of his life he’d kept to himself for years. But he loved Jensen. And sharing this with his boyfriend, sharing a secret like this with Jensen, Jared hoped the other man would finally start to realize that Jared had truly given him his whole heart. And that he had no intention of asking for it back.
“So, how many other guys have you invited up here to stargaze with you, Jare?” Jensen asked him, a smirk curling his mouth.
Jared smiled brokenly at Jensen. He should’ve known, especially with a history like he had, that Jensen wouldn’t have believed him right away. Fighting for what you wanted could really suck sometimes. But dammit if Jensen wasn’t worth every heart aching minute of it.
“You’re the first person I’ve brought here, Jensen. And now I don’t…I don’t know what else to do to prove to you that I’m in this for the long haul,” he murmured, tears glistening in his eyes, his thumb running along the nape of Jensen’s neck.
Jensen for his part looked stunned at Jared’s revelation. “Shit. Fuck, Jay. I’m so sorry, honey. First you show me the newspaper articles you’ve saved, and now you bring me to this spot which obviously means a great deal to you and I just…Christ, baby, I’m sorry. Tell me, what can I do to make it up to you?” he demanded, pulling Jared close, so close they were breathing the same air.
“Let me…just let me make love to you, Jen. I need you. I need to feel you underneath me, around me. I need this. Please, Jensen. I just…I need you,” Jared pleaded softly, burying his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck, drawing in a shuddering breath.
Carefully taking a hold of Jared’s face in his hands, Jensen waited patiently until Jared was looking him in the eyes. “You’ve got me. You’ve got me, Jay. You and me. We’re in this together, remember? You’ve got me, and dammit, I’m not going anywhere either,” Jensen murmured against Jared’s lips. He pulled Jared forward until his back hit the side of Jared’s truck. They stared at each other wordlessly for a moment with the air crackling between them. Then Jensen surged upward, easily capturing Jared’s mouth with his own. The two of them kissed in a frenzied manner for several minutes, Jared’s hand sliding up underneath Jensen’s shirt.
Moaning into the kiss Jensen leaned forward into Jared’s strong, gentle and warm touch. He felt like his whole body was on fire and he couldn’t get enough of it. Without warning Jared pulled away, his breathing harsh and labored sounding to Jensen’s ears. Jensen swallowed, flashing Jared a tense smile, realizing he was half hard.
“What the hell, Jay?” he demanded softly, his own breathing still slightly erratic.
Reaching out and stroking Jensen’s jaw for a moment, Jared finally pulled away from Jensen’s personal space all together and Jensen suddenly felt lost and cold without the other man near him. Shaking his head trying to clear it of unnecessary thoughts, his curiosity mounting as Jared easily yanked the tailgate of his truck down, Jensen wondered, not for the first time, what his boyfriend was doing.
“Help me?” Jared asked, turning toward Jensen, holding up a blanket he’d tucked into the bed of the truck as they’d been driving. Jensen helped Jared lay the blanket onto the flatbed, with laughter dancing in his eyes and a smile tugging at his mouth.
“So you do plan some things, huh?”
Jared shrugged, returning the smile. “Yeah, I guess. If I think they’re important enough.”
“And am I one of the important things in your life, Jared?” Jensen asked, rolling his bottom lip into his mouth.
Jared drew in a sharp breath, and grabbing Jensen by the hips effortlessly hoisted him up onto the flatbed of the truck.
“You better know the answer to that by now, Jen,” he growled huskily, his eyes flashing with a mixture of lust and possessiveness.
“Yeah, I do. But the question now is what’re you going to do about it?” Jensen asked softly, his eyes darkening the longer he stared at Jared.
Hopping up onto the flatbed next to his boyfriend Jared began mouthing at Jensen’s neck, heat flaring in his belly as the other man moaned deep in his throat. With his cock stirring in his pants, Jared removed his shirt, socks and shoes. He watched in mild amusement as Jensen discarded his own clothing before pulling Jared to him once again. Kissing languidly they stretched out on the blanket beneath them, Jared aching for some friction. Licking at the sweat that was sliding into the crook of Jensen’s neck, he rocked forward, groaning. Fuck. He was more than aroused at this point.
“Jen, baby…Dammit,” he cursed, staring at his boyfriend imploringly. Jensen, his eyes blown wide, panting, gave a curt nodded, trembling from having to hold back. His mouth curled into a smile when he heard Jared groan again. His amusement fading, Jensen unbuttoned Jared’s jeans before turning his focus to his own. Once all of their clothing was removed and they lay flush against each other Jared blindly grabbed at the backpack nestled in the corner of the flatbed. After successfully retrieving the lube which he’d found in the front pocket, he popped the lid on the small, warm tube in his hand. Quickly slicking up his fingers, Jared carefully began prepping Jensen, his fingers sliding into his boyfriend one at a time. Jensen breathed slowly out his nose, trying to adjust to the cold sensation of the gel, his boyfriend’s warm fingers and the euphoric feeling of breaking apart beneath Jared, simply because the other man held his heart.
“Do it, Jay. ‘m ready,” Jensen mumbled hoarsely, his eyes shining with love and trust. He smirked into Jared’s shoulder feeling the younger man shudder at the soft caress of his voice. And with a final deep kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, Jared slowly entered the tight heat, sweat beginning to slide down between his shoulder blades.
Jensen reached up, his fingers digging almost painfully in Jared’s hair, causing the other man to finally move, and move faster. Soon there was nothing but the sound of gasps, moans and whispered “Love you’s” hanging in the muggy night air between them.
Jared gently pulled away from his lover a few minutes later after successfully bringing Jensen over the edge, his lips feather light as they kissed first Jensen’s eyes, nose and jaw.
“Darlin’, you’re beautiful. I wish I could fall asleep with you in my arms every night,” Jared murmured drowsily, kissing the back of Jensen’s neck after pulling his boyfriend close.
“Well then, why don’t you move in with us?” Jensen asked tentatively, playing absentmindedly with Jared’s hand which rested possessively yet protectively over Jensen’s hip. Jensen waited nervously for Jared’s response. He smiled to himself as he felt Jared’s foot run along his calf. Jared could never stop touching him, not entirely, but then he realized he’d been doing the same thing. They kept having to prove to themselves that what they were doing was real and not just a very vivid dream. He shivered slightly, feeling Jared’s breath ghost along his bare skin.
“Yes. A thousand times yes, Jensen. I’d love to move in with you and Aly,” Jared whispered. Turning his head toward his boyfriend, Jensen’s heart soared as he pulled Jared in for one final kiss.
“That’s great, Jare. G’night, baby.”
“G’night, Jen,” Jared replied, finally giving into his contented exhaustion.
~*~
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
A few weeks later Jared had moved nearly all of his things into Jensen’s house. Both men were really enjoying waking up wrapped around each other practically every morning. And with each passing day Jared felt like he was home.
That afternoon Aly was over at the apartment helping Jared pack up the rest of his stuff. After she’d put the last box into his truck and shut the tailgate, Jared grabbed her around the waist, easily lifting her up off the ground into his arms, spinning her around in circles.
“Stop. No, no, no, no! Papa, stop!” Aly shrieked in between giggles, covering her eyes as she buried her face in her father’s chest.
Jared immediately halted, feeling as if he’d been sucker punched as he gently placed his daughter on her feet, putting a hand on Aly’s shoulder to steady her, but himself too as his heart began roaring in his ears. He felt dizzy, and he wasn’t entirely sure it was just because of how fast he’d spun them.
Aly stared at him in concern, covering the hand he had on her shoulder with her own. “Are you okay, Papa? Do you want me to call Daddy and Aunt Adrianne? We could have them come over here and you and Daddy could talk about this some more if you need to. It’s okay if you’re not as ready to move in with us as you thought. I’m happy to spend time here with you, Uncle Chad and Uncle Mike. Just as long as we’re together in some capacity, ya know? Papa?”
Jared swallowed thickly, tears welling in his eyes as he pulled Aly to his chest, hugging her tightly.
“Oh, sweetie. Aly, you sweet baby girl. No, I’m fine. I just…you called me Papa. You have no idea how much…You don’t know what that means to me, Aly. Thank you, sweetheart,” he said, kissing the top of her head. Aly pulled away from his embrace, staring at him incredulously.
“That’s why you’re crying? Wow, you and Daddy were meant for each other. He keeps crying over dog food commercials lately. I mean, it’d be one thing if it was like a really emotionally sad movie or something. I’d understand that, sure. But no, he’s been crying over every little thing. Including dog food commercials! Seriously, what the hell is up with that?” she demanded, shooting Jared a look of hopeless confusion. “But, uh, I’m glad you like me calling you Papa,” she continued, grinning at him.
“Yeah, I really do, Aly,” Jared agreed, returning the smile.
~*~
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
That same afternoon Jensen was pacing back and forth in his living room while Adrianne sat on his couch, staring at him with growing concern.
“Jesus, Jen, would you just sit down for two minutes and tell me what’s wrong!? You know you can tell me anything, honey,” she said, her frustration mounting as she ran a hand through her hair.
Jensen finally turned toward her, his face draining of color as he chewed on his lower lip distractedly. He’d never felt more relieved to have both Jared and Aly out of the house for the day. He really needed a few hours with Adrianne to come up with a battle plan. He could feel the desire to run begin to overwhelm him. Struggling to ignore it he finally sat down next to Adrianne on the couch.
Taking a hold of Adrianne’s hands in his own in an attempt to steady himself, he flashed her a broken smile, tears welling in his eyes for the hundredth time that day.
“I’m scared shitless right now, Adrianne. But I’m gonna tell you what’s going on because you’re the only one who’ll be able to knock some sense into me, you know? Tell me I’m being stupid and that…that I…Christ!” he cursed nearly inaudibly, his stomach rolling uncomfortably.
Rushing out of the room he crashed to his knees on the tile in front of the toilet in his downstairs bathroom just seconds before his lunch resurfaced. His body trembling, he let out a soft moan, grabbing at a wad of toilet paper to wipe at his mouth. The tears fell silently but fast and warm down his face. He truly hated this part. He felt so damn helpless.
“Oh, Jen. Have you told Jared yet?” Adrianne asked, empathy leaking into her voice the longer she watched her best friend, the concern she’d been feeling earlier tripling. Stepping away from the doorjamb where she’d been leaning watching Jensen heave up the contents in his stomach, Adrianne carefully pulled him to his feet, throwing his arm over her shoulder. And together they slowly made it back into the living room.
After they sat down on the couch again Adrianne looked Jensen over, relieved to see the color returning to his face. Jensen on the other hand was freaking out the longer he thought about everything. His head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts. He couldn’t be going through this again. He couldn’t be pregnant again. Even Adrianne’s words of comfort were too similar to what she’d told him sixteen years ago that overall it was making Jensen even more uneasy rather than calm like his best friend had intended.
“So, have you told Jared yet? That you’re pregnant again?” Adrianne repeated, watching her best friend avoid her gaze.
“No, I haven’t told him. I can’t,” he admitted softly, playing with a frayed thread on his jeans.
“Dammit, Jensen, I get that you’re scared. I do. But this isn’t sixteen years ago! He loves you. And he loves Aly. And he’s gonna love the hell out of that little one too, just you wait,” Adrianne insisted.
“How can you be so sure? I want him to know. Of course I do, Adrianne. But what if at some point during all of this domestic bliss Jared suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want any part of this life? What if he doesn’t want me?” Jensen asked, his voice wavering in fear.
Adrianne sighed heavily, running a hand over her face. This dance Jensen insisted on doing with Jared was getting old. She just hoped like hell that it was the hormones talking. Because the other option of Jared not being in Jensen’s life wasn’t an option at all. They’d all end up miserable as a result if that were the case.
Struggling to find the happy mixed in with all of the crap Jensen was determined to swim in, Adrianne found her own anger over the situation resurface. She’d watched these two men find each other again after sixteen years apart, she’d be damned if she would let Jensen destroy the happiness he’d rediscovered in having Jared be the largest part of his world just because he was terrified.
“Fuck you, Jensen. You’re a fucking coward, you know that? You need to grow the hell up and face Jared like a man. Be the man your parents raised you to be. He deserves the truth and you and I both know it. He’s gonna be thrilled. And you’re a goddamned moron if you think otherwise.”
“When the hell did you become such a Jared expert?” Jensen demanded sourly, glaring at her, a flash of jealousy flaring in his eyes.
Adrianne gave him a weak smile, relief flooding her. It was the hormones screwing with him.
“I’m not. That’s your department remember? I’m just his friend. Like I’m yours, Jen,” she said, running a hand soothingly over his arm. They looked up in surprise when they heard the slam of the backdoor. Jared and Aly were home. And the familiar warmth that usually flooded Jensen whenever he saw his boyfriend and daughter spending time together as if they’d been doing it all of Aly’s life didn’t come. Instead a cold block of ice settled in his stomach as he watched them put the boxes they’d brought over from Jared’s apartment onto the floor close to the backdoor.
Jared looked at him curiously as he and Aly stepped into the living room.
“So what exactly am I supposed to be thrilled about?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in Jensen’s direction.
Jensen paled, suddenly feeling woozy again he grabbed onto his best friend’s arm for support. Adrianne gave him a reassuring smile.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen. Just tell him the good news,” she whispered, squeezing his shoulder gently. Jensen nodded, turning his attention to Jared.
“Jared, come here,” he said, standing up from the couch and holding out his hands to his boyfriend. Jared walked forward, his hand warm in Aly’s as he and their daughter stopped in front of Jensen, identical looks of worry cutting across their features.
“Daddy?” Aly questioned hesitantly. Jensen leaned toward her, kissing her head.
“I’m all right, baby girl. I know you’ve been worried about me, but I’m fine. Although I do have something to tell you and Jared,” he said, giving his daughter a warm smile.
“Jen, what is it?” Jared demanded softly, his eyes searching Jensen’s for a clue to what was going on. In response Jensen cupped his face, kissing him slowly and deeply.
“Congratulations, Mr. Padalecki. You’re going to be a father. Again,” he murmured against Jared’s lips.
“You’re…you’re pregnant?” Jared asked slowly. Jensen nodded, smiling gently at his boyfriend. Upon hearing her father’s news Aly flung herself at Jensen, hugging him tightly, making herself comfortable next to him on the couch.
“I’m gonna be a big sister? This is so great, Daddy. And you’re happy, right?”
Jensen nodded again, unshed tears glistening in his eyes while holding his daughter. Turning his focus to Jared again, Jensen watched the man he loved nervously pace in front of them, running a hand through his hair.
“Jared, honey, what’re you thinking?” Jensen asked, his eyes roaming over his boyfriend. Jared abruptly stopped walking around the room standing in front of Jensen.
“You’re carrying my baby, Jen. You’re carrying our baby. I don’t…I don’t quite know how to sum up how I’m feeling right now. But if I had to tell you how I feel just to keep that happy glow on your face I’d have to agree with Adrianne. I’m thrilled, baby. Absolutely thrilled,” Jared replied, sinking to his knees in front of Jensen. “Dammit. Now where the hell did I put that thing?” he muttered, digging into his jacket pocket, frowning as he did so. Jensen watched him with growing curiosity, shooting Aly a bemused look.
“Do you have any idea what he’s doing?” he whispered to her. Aly just shrugged and shook her head. And then Jared finally pulled a small box from his pocket. He opened it up and inside was a gold band. Jensen swallowed thickly, smiling through his tears.
“Jensen, ever since we were teenagers you’ve been the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But it took our daughter to bring me back into your life. And for that and to her I’ll be forever grateful. I love you, Jen. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our family showing you just how much I love you. Will you marry me, Jensen?” Jared asked, waiting nervously for Jensen’s answer. Suddenly a loud sob ripped through the air.
“Oh, my God, you idiot, say yes!” Adrianne exclaimed, tears streaming down her face. Jensen laughed softly, shaking his head at his best friend before turning toward his boyfriend.
“Yes, Jared. Of course I’ll marry you, honey,” he said, his hand shaking as Jared slipped the ring onto his finger. Jared helped Jensen to his feet, kissing his fiancé. When they broke apart Jared leaned forward, his lips brushing Jensen’s forehead.
“So, can I tell Ashley all this good news?” Aly asked.
“Yeah. Yes, of course you can, sweetie,” Jared replied, his voice coming out husky sounding in his ears. It made Jensen’s stomach flutter when he heard it.
“Thanks, Papa!” she replied excitedly, hopping off the couch and heading to her room.
“Papa, huh?” Jensen asked, a warm smile on his face. Jared nodded.
“Yeah, it was just one of those things that happened by accident, but we both like it. So I’m thinkin’ it’ll stick,” he said.
Clearing her throat, Adrianne got up off the couch, easily pulling Jensen into a hug.
“I’m gonna take off. Let you two enjoy your night,” she said.
“You’re sure?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, hon. Chad promised to buy me a drink later anyway. Congratulations to you both,” Adrianne replied, hugging Jared.
Jared shot Jensen a bewildered look. “Adrianne likes Chad!?” he mouthed to his fiancé over Adrianne’s head. Jensen shrugged, an equally confused look cutting across his face.
After Adrianne left Jared pulled Jensen to him, his hands cupping around Jensen’s face. “It’s been quite a day, huh?”
“Yeah, it really has been,” Jensen said, sighing softly.
“You tired, darlin’?” Jared asked, his thumbs running over Jensen’s cheekbones.
“Mmmhmm, a bit,” Jensen murmured.
“How about you and I go take a nap? Then Aly and I will make us dinner. We could invite Ashley over, start making wedding plans?” Jared asked.
“Sounds good. Sounds real good,” Jensen agreed. Jared took a hold of his hand and led him to their bedroom.
TBC...
Author: ariafree (Moria)
Rating: R
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, OFCs, Tom Welling, Chad Michael Murray, Michael Rosenbaum, Adrianne Palicki and Christian Kane
Pairings: Jared/Jensen; Jensen/Tom
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the individuals mentioned above (with the exception of my 2 OFCs), I'm merely a writer wanting to tell a story.
Warnings/Spoilers: AU; MPREG; FEMSLASH
Summary: Jared Padalecki was a real player in high school. When 15 year old Aly knocks on his door claiming to be his daughter he soon realizes he has to confront his past head on. At the top of that list? Jensen Ackles. Aly's other father.
AN: I've made Jensen and Jared roughly the same age in this fic just so you're aware.
It was past time I started posting this 'verse to my LJ. Also, this 'verse is incredibly special to me. It's one of my absolute favorites that I've written and I just love living in this world. :)
Chapter 7:
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
“Where are we going?” Jensen asked as soon as he’d climbed into the cab of the truck.
Jared laughed, shaking his head. “Has anyone ever told you, you’re impatient? Haven’t you learned by now that if I’m keeping secrets from you it’s usually a good thing? I mean, what ever happened to the element of surprise?”
Jensen shrugged. “Oh, I know. I just like knowing ahead of time where I’m going, so I can plan things accordingly,” he replied.
Jared sighed softly. “Okay, I get your point. But it kind of defeats the purpose of a destination adventure, don’t ya think?”
“Yeah, probably,” Jensen freely admitted. He looked out the passenger window at the houses and businesses in town they passed as Jared drove.
They pulled into the parking lot of the local ice cream shop. Jared turned toward Jensen with a broad grin on his face.
“You wanted dessert, right, Jen?”
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but I’ll take it,” Jensen replied, following Jared as the other man headed into the building. He suddenly found himself surrounded by Jared’s all-encompassing heat when Jared pulled him close, easily slipping his hand into the back pocket of Jensen’s well-worn yet tight-fitting jeans.
“What flavor do you want, baby?” Jared murmured in Jensen’s ear. Jensen felt a shiver slide down his spine, his heart picking up speed as Jared’s lips and tongue grazed the outer shell of his ear. Swallowing convulsively, he willed himself to focus on Jared’s question rather than how warm he’d become just from thinking about things he really shouldn’t be in public.
“Chocolate,” he choked out, proud of himself for that small feat as he gave Jared a smile. Jared nodded, kissing the side of Jensen’s head before untangling himself from his boyfriend and making his way toward the counter to take their order.
Looking over his shoulder, his bangs falling into his eyes making him appear even sexier if it were possible, Jared’s heart swelled as he watched Jensen’s eyes flit over the other customers, trying to amuse himself while waiting on Jared to bring them their ice cream. There were moments like right now that he still couldn’t fully believe that Jensen was his boyfriend. He’d been hoping for it to happen for the past sixteen years. Now to suddenly have his greatest heart’s desire? To say that he was still incredibly overwhelmed by it all didn’t even come close to covering it.
Catching Jensen’s eye he mouthed “I love you,” winking at the other man as he did so. Heat curled in his belly, watching Jensen’s face flush. Jared felt rather proud of himself for being the one to put that look on Jensen’s face just with a simple movement of his eye.
Finally getting the cones he’d ordered, Jared made his way over to his boyfriend’s side, handing Jensen his cone, while beginning to devour his own.
“So, you ready to get out of here?” Jared whispered, his words coming out raw at the edges as the pure, nearly animalistic hunger he was feeling began leaking through his voice.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Jensen said, his own voice roughened and thick from the ice cream already coating his throat. Jared sighed heavily, taking a hold of Jensen’s hand in his own, smiling to himself as their fingers intertwined, attempting to ignore the twist in his gut that had made its presence known the minute Jensen’s voice began sounding drenched with want instead of just his normal southern twang.
After getting into the truck and gunning the motor, Jared pulled out of the parking lot as effortlessly as he’d first pulled into it. Heading towards the outskirts of town, Jared finished up his ice cream, watching as Jensen did the same. Biting back a grin he watched in amusement as Jensen’s fingers drummed on his leg in time to the song playing over the radio.
Within a matter of minutes they’d pulled off the road, the truck resting on an embankment overlooking Maryvale. Jared made sure the truck bed was facing all the beauty their small town presented. Getting out of the truck, he stretched, popping his back before turning his attention once again to his boyfriend.
Coming around to the passenger side of his truck Jared opened the door, holding a hand out for Jensen, which the other man took, squeezing briefly as he jumped out of the cab.
“Jared, what is this place?” Jensen asked, looking around him.
“Well, Jen, this is where I used to come when we were back in high school whenever I wanted to be alone. Especially after I’d just lost a game. Back then, as I’m sure you remember, I was a real ass. I thought I was goddamned royalty at Maryvale High and should be treated like it. But coming here and looking up at the sky, watching the stars come out, the whole experience made me feel really small, insignificant, ya know? It humbled me a bit. And being a seventeen-year-old guy who thought the world revolved around me I needed that in my life,” Jared admitted quietly, running a hand through his hair nervously. It pretty much terrified him having Jensen here with him, being so open and honest about a part of his life he’d kept to himself for years. But he loved Jensen. And sharing this with his boyfriend, sharing a secret like this with Jensen, Jared hoped the other man would finally start to realize that Jared had truly given him his whole heart. And that he had no intention of asking for it back.
“So, how many other guys have you invited up here to stargaze with you, Jare?” Jensen asked him, a smirk curling his mouth.
Jared smiled brokenly at Jensen. He should’ve known, especially with a history like he had, that Jensen wouldn’t have believed him right away. Fighting for what you wanted could really suck sometimes. But dammit if Jensen wasn’t worth every heart aching minute of it.
“You’re the first person I’ve brought here, Jensen. And now I don’t…I don’t know what else to do to prove to you that I’m in this for the long haul,” he murmured, tears glistening in his eyes, his thumb running along the nape of Jensen’s neck.
Jensen for his part looked stunned at Jared’s revelation. “Shit. Fuck, Jay. I’m so sorry, honey. First you show me the newspaper articles you’ve saved, and now you bring me to this spot which obviously means a great deal to you and I just…Christ, baby, I’m sorry. Tell me, what can I do to make it up to you?” he demanded, pulling Jared close, so close they were breathing the same air.
“Let me…just let me make love to you, Jen. I need you. I need to feel you underneath me, around me. I need this. Please, Jensen. I just…I need you,” Jared pleaded softly, burying his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck, drawing in a shuddering breath.
Carefully taking a hold of Jared’s face in his hands, Jensen waited patiently until Jared was looking him in the eyes. “You’ve got me. You’ve got me, Jay. You and me. We’re in this together, remember? You’ve got me, and dammit, I’m not going anywhere either,” Jensen murmured against Jared’s lips. He pulled Jared forward until his back hit the side of Jared’s truck. They stared at each other wordlessly for a moment with the air crackling between them. Then Jensen surged upward, easily capturing Jared’s mouth with his own. The two of them kissed in a frenzied manner for several minutes, Jared’s hand sliding up underneath Jensen’s shirt.
Moaning into the kiss Jensen leaned forward into Jared’s strong, gentle and warm touch. He felt like his whole body was on fire and he couldn’t get enough of it. Without warning Jared pulled away, his breathing harsh and labored sounding to Jensen’s ears. Jensen swallowed, flashing Jared a tense smile, realizing he was half hard.
“What the hell, Jay?” he demanded softly, his own breathing still slightly erratic.
Reaching out and stroking Jensen’s jaw for a moment, Jared finally pulled away from Jensen’s personal space all together and Jensen suddenly felt lost and cold without the other man near him. Shaking his head trying to clear it of unnecessary thoughts, his curiosity mounting as Jared easily yanked the tailgate of his truck down, Jensen wondered, not for the first time, what his boyfriend was doing.
“Help me?” Jared asked, turning toward Jensen, holding up a blanket he’d tucked into the bed of the truck as they’d been driving. Jensen helped Jared lay the blanket onto the flatbed, with laughter dancing in his eyes and a smile tugging at his mouth.
“So you do plan some things, huh?”
Jared shrugged, returning the smile. “Yeah, I guess. If I think they’re important enough.”
“And am I one of the important things in your life, Jared?” Jensen asked, rolling his bottom lip into his mouth.
Jared drew in a sharp breath, and grabbing Jensen by the hips effortlessly hoisted him up onto the flatbed of the truck.
“You better know the answer to that by now, Jen,” he growled huskily, his eyes flashing with a mixture of lust and possessiveness.
“Yeah, I do. But the question now is what’re you going to do about it?” Jensen asked softly, his eyes darkening the longer he stared at Jared.
Hopping up onto the flatbed next to his boyfriend Jared began mouthing at Jensen’s neck, heat flaring in his belly as the other man moaned deep in his throat. With his cock stirring in his pants, Jared removed his shirt, socks and shoes. He watched in mild amusement as Jensen discarded his own clothing before pulling Jared to him once again. Kissing languidly they stretched out on the blanket beneath them, Jared aching for some friction. Licking at the sweat that was sliding into the crook of Jensen’s neck, he rocked forward, groaning. Fuck. He was more than aroused at this point.
“Jen, baby…Dammit,” he cursed, staring at his boyfriend imploringly. Jensen, his eyes blown wide, panting, gave a curt nodded, trembling from having to hold back. His mouth curled into a smile when he heard Jared groan again. His amusement fading, Jensen unbuttoned Jared’s jeans before turning his focus to his own. Once all of their clothing was removed and they lay flush against each other Jared blindly grabbed at the backpack nestled in the corner of the flatbed. After successfully retrieving the lube which he’d found in the front pocket, he popped the lid on the small, warm tube in his hand. Quickly slicking up his fingers, Jared carefully began prepping Jensen, his fingers sliding into his boyfriend one at a time. Jensen breathed slowly out his nose, trying to adjust to the cold sensation of the gel, his boyfriend’s warm fingers and the euphoric feeling of breaking apart beneath Jared, simply because the other man held his heart.
“Do it, Jay. ‘m ready,” Jensen mumbled hoarsely, his eyes shining with love and trust. He smirked into Jared’s shoulder feeling the younger man shudder at the soft caress of his voice. And with a final deep kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, Jared slowly entered the tight heat, sweat beginning to slide down between his shoulder blades.
Jensen reached up, his fingers digging almost painfully in Jared’s hair, causing the other man to finally move, and move faster. Soon there was nothing but the sound of gasps, moans and whispered “Love you’s” hanging in the muggy night air between them.
Jared gently pulled away from his lover a few minutes later after successfully bringing Jensen over the edge, his lips feather light as they kissed first Jensen’s eyes, nose and jaw.
“Darlin’, you’re beautiful. I wish I could fall asleep with you in my arms every night,” Jared murmured drowsily, kissing the back of Jensen’s neck after pulling his boyfriend close.
“Well then, why don’t you move in with us?” Jensen asked tentatively, playing absentmindedly with Jared’s hand which rested possessively yet protectively over Jensen’s hip. Jensen waited nervously for Jared’s response. He smiled to himself as he felt Jared’s foot run along his calf. Jared could never stop touching him, not entirely, but then he realized he’d been doing the same thing. They kept having to prove to themselves that what they were doing was real and not just a very vivid dream. He shivered slightly, feeling Jared’s breath ghost along his bare skin.
“Yes. A thousand times yes, Jensen. I’d love to move in with you and Aly,” Jared whispered. Turning his head toward his boyfriend, Jensen’s heart soared as he pulled Jared in for one final kiss.
“That’s great, Jare. G’night, baby.”
“G’night, Jen,” Jared replied, finally giving into his contented exhaustion.
~*~
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
A few weeks later Jared had moved nearly all of his things into Jensen’s house. Both men were really enjoying waking up wrapped around each other practically every morning. And with each passing day Jared felt like he was home.
That afternoon Aly was over at the apartment helping Jared pack up the rest of his stuff. After she’d put the last box into his truck and shut the tailgate, Jared grabbed her around the waist, easily lifting her up off the ground into his arms, spinning her around in circles.
“Stop. No, no, no, no! Papa, stop!” Aly shrieked in between giggles, covering her eyes as she buried her face in her father’s chest.
Jared immediately halted, feeling as if he’d been sucker punched as he gently placed his daughter on her feet, putting a hand on Aly’s shoulder to steady her, but himself too as his heart began roaring in his ears. He felt dizzy, and he wasn’t entirely sure it was just because of how fast he’d spun them.
Aly stared at him in concern, covering the hand he had on her shoulder with her own. “Are you okay, Papa? Do you want me to call Daddy and Aunt Adrianne? We could have them come over here and you and Daddy could talk about this some more if you need to. It’s okay if you’re not as ready to move in with us as you thought. I’m happy to spend time here with you, Uncle Chad and Uncle Mike. Just as long as we’re together in some capacity, ya know? Papa?”
Jared swallowed thickly, tears welling in his eyes as he pulled Aly to his chest, hugging her tightly.
“Oh, sweetie. Aly, you sweet baby girl. No, I’m fine. I just…you called me Papa. You have no idea how much…You don’t know what that means to me, Aly. Thank you, sweetheart,” he said, kissing the top of her head. Aly pulled away from his embrace, staring at him incredulously.
“That’s why you’re crying? Wow, you and Daddy were meant for each other. He keeps crying over dog food commercials lately. I mean, it’d be one thing if it was like a really emotionally sad movie or something. I’d understand that, sure. But no, he’s been crying over every little thing. Including dog food commercials! Seriously, what the hell is up with that?” she demanded, shooting Jared a look of hopeless confusion. “But, uh, I’m glad you like me calling you Papa,” she continued, grinning at him.
“Yeah, I really do, Aly,” Jared agreed, returning the smile.
~*~
Maryvale, Texas
Spring 2010
That same afternoon Jensen was pacing back and forth in his living room while Adrianne sat on his couch, staring at him with growing concern.
“Jesus, Jen, would you just sit down for two minutes and tell me what’s wrong!? You know you can tell me anything, honey,” she said, her frustration mounting as she ran a hand through her hair.
Jensen finally turned toward her, his face draining of color as he chewed on his lower lip distractedly. He’d never felt more relieved to have both Jared and Aly out of the house for the day. He really needed a few hours with Adrianne to come up with a battle plan. He could feel the desire to run begin to overwhelm him. Struggling to ignore it he finally sat down next to Adrianne on the couch.
Taking a hold of Adrianne’s hands in his own in an attempt to steady himself, he flashed her a broken smile, tears welling in his eyes for the hundredth time that day.
“I’m scared shitless right now, Adrianne. But I’m gonna tell you what’s going on because you’re the only one who’ll be able to knock some sense into me, you know? Tell me I’m being stupid and that…that I…Christ!” he cursed nearly inaudibly, his stomach rolling uncomfortably.
Rushing out of the room he crashed to his knees on the tile in front of the toilet in his downstairs bathroom just seconds before his lunch resurfaced. His body trembling, he let out a soft moan, grabbing at a wad of toilet paper to wipe at his mouth. The tears fell silently but fast and warm down his face. He truly hated this part. He felt so damn helpless.
“Oh, Jen. Have you told Jared yet?” Adrianne asked, empathy leaking into her voice the longer she watched her best friend, the concern she’d been feeling earlier tripling. Stepping away from the doorjamb where she’d been leaning watching Jensen heave up the contents in his stomach, Adrianne carefully pulled him to his feet, throwing his arm over her shoulder. And together they slowly made it back into the living room.
After they sat down on the couch again Adrianne looked Jensen over, relieved to see the color returning to his face. Jensen on the other hand was freaking out the longer he thought about everything. His head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts. He couldn’t be going through this again. He couldn’t be pregnant again. Even Adrianne’s words of comfort were too similar to what she’d told him sixteen years ago that overall it was making Jensen even more uneasy rather than calm like his best friend had intended.
“So, have you told Jared yet? That you’re pregnant again?” Adrianne repeated, watching her best friend avoid her gaze.
“No, I haven’t told him. I can’t,” he admitted softly, playing with a frayed thread on his jeans.
“Dammit, Jensen, I get that you’re scared. I do. But this isn’t sixteen years ago! He loves you. And he loves Aly. And he’s gonna love the hell out of that little one too, just you wait,” Adrianne insisted.
“How can you be so sure? I want him to know. Of course I do, Adrianne. But what if at some point during all of this domestic bliss Jared suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want any part of this life? What if he doesn’t want me?” Jensen asked, his voice wavering in fear.
Adrianne sighed heavily, running a hand over her face. This dance Jensen insisted on doing with Jared was getting old. She just hoped like hell that it was the hormones talking. Because the other option of Jared not being in Jensen’s life wasn’t an option at all. They’d all end up miserable as a result if that were the case.
Struggling to find the happy mixed in with all of the crap Jensen was determined to swim in, Adrianne found her own anger over the situation resurface. She’d watched these two men find each other again after sixteen years apart, she’d be damned if she would let Jensen destroy the happiness he’d rediscovered in having Jared be the largest part of his world just because he was terrified.
“Fuck you, Jensen. You’re a fucking coward, you know that? You need to grow the hell up and face Jared like a man. Be the man your parents raised you to be. He deserves the truth and you and I both know it. He’s gonna be thrilled. And you’re a goddamned moron if you think otherwise.”
“When the hell did you become such a Jared expert?” Jensen demanded sourly, glaring at her, a flash of jealousy flaring in his eyes.
Adrianne gave him a weak smile, relief flooding her. It was the hormones screwing with him.
“I’m not. That’s your department remember? I’m just his friend. Like I’m yours, Jen,” she said, running a hand soothingly over his arm. They looked up in surprise when they heard the slam of the backdoor. Jared and Aly were home. And the familiar warmth that usually flooded Jensen whenever he saw his boyfriend and daughter spending time together as if they’d been doing it all of Aly’s life didn’t come. Instead a cold block of ice settled in his stomach as he watched them put the boxes they’d brought over from Jared’s apartment onto the floor close to the backdoor.
Jared looked at him curiously as he and Aly stepped into the living room.
“So what exactly am I supposed to be thrilled about?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in Jensen’s direction.
Jensen paled, suddenly feeling woozy again he grabbed onto his best friend’s arm for support. Adrianne gave him a reassuring smile.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen. Just tell him the good news,” she whispered, squeezing his shoulder gently. Jensen nodded, turning his attention to Jared.
“Jared, come here,” he said, standing up from the couch and holding out his hands to his boyfriend. Jared walked forward, his hand warm in Aly’s as he and their daughter stopped in front of Jensen, identical looks of worry cutting across their features.
“Daddy?” Aly questioned hesitantly. Jensen leaned toward her, kissing her head.
“I’m all right, baby girl. I know you’ve been worried about me, but I’m fine. Although I do have something to tell you and Jared,” he said, giving his daughter a warm smile.
“Jen, what is it?” Jared demanded softly, his eyes searching Jensen’s for a clue to what was going on. In response Jensen cupped his face, kissing him slowly and deeply.
“Congratulations, Mr. Padalecki. You’re going to be a father. Again,” he murmured against Jared’s lips.
“You’re…you’re pregnant?” Jared asked slowly. Jensen nodded, smiling gently at his boyfriend. Upon hearing her father’s news Aly flung herself at Jensen, hugging him tightly, making herself comfortable next to him on the couch.
“I’m gonna be a big sister? This is so great, Daddy. And you’re happy, right?”
Jensen nodded again, unshed tears glistening in his eyes while holding his daughter. Turning his focus to Jared again, Jensen watched the man he loved nervously pace in front of them, running a hand through his hair.
“Jared, honey, what’re you thinking?” Jensen asked, his eyes roaming over his boyfriend. Jared abruptly stopped walking around the room standing in front of Jensen.
“You’re carrying my baby, Jen. You’re carrying our baby. I don’t…I don’t quite know how to sum up how I’m feeling right now. But if I had to tell you how I feel just to keep that happy glow on your face I’d have to agree with Adrianne. I’m thrilled, baby. Absolutely thrilled,” Jared replied, sinking to his knees in front of Jensen. “Dammit. Now where the hell did I put that thing?” he muttered, digging into his jacket pocket, frowning as he did so. Jensen watched him with growing curiosity, shooting Aly a bemused look.
“Do you have any idea what he’s doing?” he whispered to her. Aly just shrugged and shook her head. And then Jared finally pulled a small box from his pocket. He opened it up and inside was a gold band. Jensen swallowed thickly, smiling through his tears.
“Jensen, ever since we were teenagers you’ve been the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But it took our daughter to bring me back into your life. And for that and to her I’ll be forever grateful. I love you, Jen. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our family showing you just how much I love you. Will you marry me, Jensen?” Jared asked, waiting nervously for Jensen’s answer. Suddenly a loud sob ripped through the air.
“Oh, my God, you idiot, say yes!” Adrianne exclaimed, tears streaming down her face. Jensen laughed softly, shaking his head at his best friend before turning toward his boyfriend.
“Yes, Jared. Of course I’ll marry you, honey,” he said, his hand shaking as Jared slipped the ring onto his finger. Jared helped Jensen to his feet, kissing his fiancé. When they broke apart Jared leaned forward, his lips brushing Jensen’s forehead.
“So, can I tell Ashley all this good news?” Aly asked.
“Yeah. Yes, of course you can, sweetie,” Jared replied, his voice coming out husky sounding in his ears. It made Jensen’s stomach flutter when he heard it.
“Thanks, Papa!” she replied excitedly, hopping off the couch and heading to her room.
“Papa, huh?” Jensen asked, a warm smile on his face. Jared nodded.
“Yeah, it was just one of those things that happened by accident, but we both like it. So I’m thinkin’ it’ll stick,” he said.
Clearing her throat, Adrianne got up off the couch, easily pulling Jensen into a hug.
“I’m gonna take off. Let you two enjoy your night,” she said.
“You’re sure?” Jensen asked.
“Yeah, hon. Chad promised to buy me a drink later anyway. Congratulations to you both,” Adrianne replied, hugging Jared.
Jared shot Jensen a bewildered look. “Adrianne likes Chad!?” he mouthed to his fiancé over Adrianne’s head. Jensen shrugged, an equally confused look cutting across his face.
After Adrianne left Jared pulled Jensen to him, his hands cupping around Jensen’s face. “It’s been quite a day, huh?”
“Yeah, it really has been,” Jensen said, sighing softly.
“You tired, darlin’?” Jared asked, his thumbs running over Jensen’s cheekbones.
“Mmmhmm, a bit,” Jensen murmured.
“How about you and I go take a nap? Then Aly and I will make us dinner. We could invite Ashley over, start making wedding plans?” Jared asked.
“Sounds good. Sounds real good,” Jensen agreed. Jared took a hold of his hand and led him to their bedroom.
TBC...