Life update...
In case anyone one was wondering what happened in my life during my LJ disappearance, here are the not-so-exciting highlights...
I had a boyfriend for a brief period of time - approximately 3 1/2 months. We were friends for a couple of months and started dating shortly after he broke up with his girlfriend (he broke up with her for reasons completely unrelated to me). I thought...I don't know...I thought that because we were friends first - REALLY GOOD friends - that he wouldn't treat me the way he ended up treating me. I could nitpick and give you every last detail, but it would only upset me and there's really no point. What it comes down to, in the end, is that he's a boy and I need a man...someone who doesn't feel the need to change me (as subtly and nicely as he tried, I think he was trying to change me from the start), someone who is secure with himself and who he is, someone who doesn't need me (or any significant other) to feel complete.
After much thought (and beating myself up over the idea that if I had just been a better girlfriend, we would still be together), I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off without him. Just the way he broke up with me probably says it all - he abandoned me at a wedding (long story short, the venue was apparently the last place he was at a big event with his mother, who passed away 2 years ago, and this upset him...I offered to leave the wedding early, I offered to sit with him on the side and be there for moral support, and I offered to leave him alone and give him space...each and every offer was met with cruel words), then proceded to begin breaking up with me via text, only to finish the job over the phone. He went on to break up with me on Facebook within an hour, and untagged himself from the two pictures of us (even though he's kept himself tagged in pictures with other ex's).
He is apparently currently back with the girl he was dating before me...even though he had about a thousand issues with her and her friends. Plus, he shared some super-secret info about her with me - a couple years ago she got pregnant by her previous boyfriend, kept the pregnancy from her friends, then gave it up for adoption. All in all, not particularly scandalous...except for the fact that she continued to smoke and drink throughout the pregnancy. I don't know about any of you, but I find that morally repugnant...it's not something I could ever forgive her for doing. And yet...he claimed that one of the reasons he broke up with me was because "he could never see himself marrying me"...but he can see himself marrying her knowing that?!?
We've been broken up for a little over 2 months and I'm still upset about it, although I seem to be getting over it slowly but surely. But I HATE myself for still caring. I wish I could just get over him. But again, I always come back to the fact that we had been friends...he knew who I was before we started dating. I don't understand why he bothered if he didn't like me. And I don't understand how he could be so MEAN to someone who was a good friend.
In other news, my mom has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She found a lump in her breast, went to the doctor, and they had her get a mammography despite the fact she had gotten one earlier in the year. It still didn't show up on the mammography, so the doctors initially told her that she would probably just need a lumpectomy and radiation, but she should get an MRI just in case. She went for the MRI, and it turns out that the cancer had spread further than they thought...now she neeeds a mastectomy and chemotherapy...plus they were concerned that it might have spread to her bones, so they made her get a CAT scan.
The good news - the cancer has NOT spread into her bones...or anywhere else for that matter. It's still a relatively small mass in her breast.
The bad news - It's too large for a lumpectomy. So she needs to have one of her breasts removed, followed by reconstructive surgery and a reduction on her other breast (my moms boobs are HUGE...she's actually kinda excited that she'll be going down from a DDD to a D). She will probably need chemo, which may make her lose her hair. My mom has beautiful, thick, down-to-her butt hair. She has had long hair almost all her life...people are always telling her to cut it, but she loves it long. Losing it will break her heart. I know it will grow back, but she's 62 years old...it will never grow that long again.
In any case, I'm hoping surgery goes well...I'm hoping the chemo doesn't make her too sick...I'm hoping she doesn't end up losing her hair.
And this sucks even more because she just retired. She was looking forward to finally having time to do all these things...and now this. But she's tough, and her spirits have improved since the results of her CAT scan revealed that the cancer hasn't spread.
I took her out to this awesome pancake place the other day, then we stopped by my school so she could see the beautiful building that I work in...between the delicious pancakes and the exercise (I work on the 3rd floor, so she got a bit of a workout), I'd like to think I helped brighted her mood a little too.
Oh...and I suspect I may be suffering from depression, but I'm too stubborn to go to the doctor. I'm not sure if I'm really depressed, though.
That said, I'd like to end on a positive note. Good things that have happened:
In other news, I have survived the great ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE...I mean...Hurricane Irene. By the time it got to my neck of the woods, it had died down quite a bit. A lot of places are flooded, but I'm doing just fine.
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Don't be shy...
I had a boyfriend for a brief period of time - approximately 3 1/2 months. We were friends for a couple of months and started dating shortly after he broke up with his girlfriend (he broke up with her for reasons completely unrelated to me). I thought...I don't know...I thought that because we were friends first - REALLY GOOD friends - that he wouldn't treat me the way he ended up treating me. I could nitpick and give you every last detail, but it would only upset me and there's really no point. What it comes down to, in the end, is that he's a boy and I need a man...someone who doesn't feel the need to change me (as subtly and nicely as he tried, I think he was trying to change me from the start), someone who is secure with himself and who he is, someone who doesn't need me (or any significant other) to feel complete.
After much thought (and beating myself up over the idea that if I had just been a better girlfriend, we would still be together), I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off without him. Just the way he broke up with me probably says it all - he abandoned me at a wedding (long story short, the venue was apparently the last place he was at a big event with his mother, who passed away 2 years ago, and this upset him...I offered to leave the wedding early, I offered to sit with him on the side and be there for moral support, and I offered to leave him alone and give him space...each and every offer was met with cruel words), then proceded to begin breaking up with me via text, only to finish the job over the phone. He went on to break up with me on Facebook within an hour, and untagged himself from the two pictures of us (even though he's kept himself tagged in pictures with other ex's).
He is apparently currently back with the girl he was dating before me...even though he had about a thousand issues with her and her friends. Plus, he shared some super-secret info about her with me - a couple years ago she got pregnant by her previous boyfriend, kept the pregnancy from her friends, then gave it up for adoption. All in all, not particularly scandalous...except for the fact that she continued to smoke and drink throughout the pregnancy. I don't know about any of you, but I find that morally repugnant...it's not something I could ever forgive her for doing. And yet...he claimed that one of the reasons he broke up with me was because "he could never see himself marrying me"...but he can see himself marrying her knowing that?!?
We've been broken up for a little over 2 months and I'm still upset about it, although I seem to be getting over it slowly but surely. But I HATE myself for still caring. I wish I could just get over him. But again, I always come back to the fact that we had been friends...he knew who I was before we started dating. I don't understand why he bothered if he didn't like me. And I don't understand how he could be so MEAN to someone who was a good friend.
In other news, my mom has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She found a lump in her breast, went to the doctor, and they had her get a mammography despite the fact she had gotten one earlier in the year. It still didn't show up on the mammography, so the doctors initially told her that she would probably just need a lumpectomy and radiation, but she should get an MRI just in case. She went for the MRI, and it turns out that the cancer had spread further than they thought...now she neeeds a mastectomy and chemotherapy...plus they were concerned that it might have spread to her bones, so they made her get a CAT scan.
The good news - the cancer has NOT spread into her bones...or anywhere else for that matter. It's still a relatively small mass in her breast.
The bad news - It's too large for a lumpectomy. So she needs to have one of her breasts removed, followed by reconstructive surgery and a reduction on her other breast (my moms boobs are HUGE...she's actually kinda excited that she'll be going down from a DDD to a D). She will probably need chemo, which may make her lose her hair. My mom has beautiful, thick, down-to-her butt hair. She has had long hair almost all her life...people are always telling her to cut it, but she loves it long. Losing it will break her heart. I know it will grow back, but she's 62 years old...it will never grow that long again.
In any case, I'm hoping surgery goes well...I'm hoping the chemo doesn't make her too sick...I'm hoping she doesn't end up losing her hair.
And this sucks even more because she just retired. She was looking forward to finally having time to do all these things...and now this. But she's tough, and her spirits have improved since the results of her CAT scan revealed that the cancer hasn't spread.
I took her out to this awesome pancake place the other day, then we stopped by my school so she could see the beautiful building that I work in...between the delicious pancakes and the exercise (I work on the 3rd floor, so she got a bit of a workout), I'd like to think I helped brighted her mood a little too.
Oh...and I suspect I may be suffering from depression, but I'm too stubborn to go to the doctor. I'm not sure if I'm really depressed, though.
That said, I'd like to end on a positive note. Good things that have happened:
- I'm trying to be more optimistic about life in general.
- I've joined Match.com. I think it's a step towards getting over my asshole of an ex and finding someone who will love me just as I am.
- I read a lot of books this summer.
- I went to a co-worker's bachelorette party and had fun.
- My friend gave me a sheep pillow pet. His name is Sheldon. He makes me feel better when I'm sad.
- I've started working on my novel again...not a lot, but I try to write something every day, even if it's only a sentence.
- Just yesterday I reconnected with a former crush on Facebook...I'm over the crush and he's over the fact that I had a crush on him, so I think we're good to go. I missed his friendship...it's nice to be talking to him again.
In other news, I have survived the great ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE...I mean...Hurricane Irene. By the time it got to my neck of the woods, it had died down quite a bit. A lot of places are flooded, but I'm doing just fine.
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Don't be shy...