And I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me.
Today was one of the worst days I've had in a really long time.
We had to put Olive to sleep. She couldn't eat and could barely walk and we just decided that we didn't want to watch her like that anymore. None of us have slept well for the past few weeks cause we kept expecting to wake up and find her dead. So I guess we'll sleep well tonight.
I haven't cried like this for a while. I liked my dog so much more than any guy.
The rain was nice. I was sorry it stopped.
My cousin is here and she watches everything I do. I freaked out today cause I felt so claustrophobic in my house. I want to be alone. I want to go for a walk right now but my parents won't let me go alone. I might get kidnapped.
I didn't know what to do with myself after Olive died today so I cleaned out my closet. It took like four hours. I got rid of almost everything in it. I found a cool hippy hat that makes me feel secure when I'm wearing it and I found my blanket that I carried around everywhere until I was about six. The blanket made me cry. And finding all of the things that my parents bought me that I didn't appreciate. I feel so undeserving of anyone's affection, even the slightest bit, let alone everything my parents do for me. I'm not good enough for it.
I want to take my blanket and go curl up and fall asleep in my dad's lap. I don't want to grow up or go to college.
Chris said I need a hug that lasts for a week. He's getting drunk and writing me a song. I guess that will do.
I can't believe I just used this fucking LJ to actually write about something. Someone shoot me.
We had to put Olive to sleep. She couldn't eat and could barely walk and we just decided that we didn't want to watch her like that anymore. None of us have slept well for the past few weeks cause we kept expecting to wake up and find her dead. So I guess we'll sleep well tonight.
I haven't cried like this for a while. I liked my dog so much more than any guy.
The rain was nice. I was sorry it stopped.
My cousin is here and she watches everything I do. I freaked out today cause I felt so claustrophobic in my house. I want to be alone. I want to go for a walk right now but my parents won't let me go alone. I might get kidnapped.
I didn't know what to do with myself after Olive died today so I cleaned out my closet. It took like four hours. I got rid of almost everything in it. I found a cool hippy hat that makes me feel secure when I'm wearing it and I found my blanket that I carried around everywhere until I was about six. The blanket made me cry. And finding all of the things that my parents bought me that I didn't appreciate. I feel so undeserving of anyone's affection, even the slightest bit, let alone everything my parents do for me. I'm not good enough for it.
I want to take my blanket and go curl up and fall asleep in my dad's lap. I don't want to grow up or go to college.
Chris said I need a hug that lasts for a week. He's getting drunk and writing me a song. I guess that will do.
I can't believe I just used this fucking LJ to actually write about something. Someone shoot me.