What is 'real'?
Written on 5th July 2014:
I ought to be studying for JLPT N3 tomorrow. But you know what they say about procrastination. And that I'd tried five mock exams - sometimes having studied and most of the time without - and always, always get similar results, so I feel a little defeated. (No worries, I passed every single time. Considering the passing mark is 50%, that is no mean feat btw.)
Anyways, on to the fruits of my procrastination. After re-watching Inception for the 3rd time (because: 1. Briliant plot, 2. Di Caprio at a role he does best - ambitious man buried deep in his obsession, 3. Gordon-Levitt in suit fighting in zero gravity, 4. Srsly do I need to state more reasons because I think they may make me look like an airhead) and reading a cliched, brainless love story between a slave falling in love with his master (and suffering from serious Stockholm syndrome) while waiting for melatonins to take effect, the insipid issues the characters in the story were dealing with ('of course, he has to love me, he's my slave') made me think.
About what we humans consider 'real'.
I always thought I only have one foot firmly lodged in reality. After all, my two favourite quotes are 'Human kind / Cannot stand too much reality' (T.S. Elliot) and 'Reality is a shared imagination' (I forgot who said this). I would have tattooed them on my skin if they weren't too depressing and a healthy individual ought to be optimistic. I'm rambling. Sorry.
But, this theme - 'is an emotion real' - has also been been explored by the mass media a lot. There was that movie about a guy falling in love with an AI (I haven't watched it btw), and Japanese animes like Chobits, Time of Eve, etc. Similar to the love story with a slave I mentioned above, the core questions seem to be: if you fall in love with someone who behave a certain way because you programmed him to, he has no choice but to behave that way for you, does that make the love and the relationship real? Because the person you are in love with aren't behaving as their 'real selves'?
But as human beings, we tend to want to showcase the best versions of ourselves to our beloved (especially in the initial stages of dating. To the point that 9gag has some memes about the 'power' of make-up and so on. Oh, I'm rambling again!). Aren't we being our 'fake selves' to people we love, then? Isn't by default all relationships and all love aren't real, then?
That kind of 'showing our best version' can't last, you may say, and only after seeing each other at our worst and we decide to stick with each other, that's real love. Well, I agree. Free will seems to be the key point of determining whether a love/relationship is real or fake, then. 'Choosing' to stay with each other is the important thing, after all.
Except in our present world, who have the luxury of that free will, still? A couple is sometimes bound to stay together because: 1. of the children, 2. they have joint assets tied to their names/other monetary reasons, 3. don't want to cause embarrassment to the in-laws/family, 4. the government makes it hard to divorce (hey, I heard in Singapore signing an ROM costs hundreds of dollars, but a divorce would cost thousands), 5. don't want the stigma of being a divorced person, 6. their religion doesn't allow it, blah blah blah.
Some of these may sound like excuses to you, and you may insist that if they really hate each other that much they can still have a divorce anyway! Free will ftw! But to them, these may not be excuses but valid shackles. Esp reason #1, and reason #2 if you're a housewife whom both of you had decided to stay at home.
And then there are also arranged marriages! Before you feel anything toward the other person, you're already bound into an institution. Is the institution fake, then?