y'all, I woke up laughing. This is that kind of dream

Sep 27, 2009 08:47

Welcome to this edition of "Stess has the most hilarious dreams of all time. Ever." !

There was a first part to it that was like, on a Saturday before, at the mall? And we saw this group singing, and there were these high school kids. And I don't remember their names now, so I'm making some up. There was this blonde girl who's name was like, Carol Ann or Bobbi Jo or something really Southern like that, and this guy named Cody maybe, and another guy named Trevor, and then a bunch of other kids. And Cody totally was in looooove with Carol Ann and wanted to ask her to the big dance, but we knew that Trevor had already asked her and she said she would go with him if he bought her a CD. She was one of THOSE types, that every guy likes and she'll go with the highest bidder. She was pretty and blonde, and inexplicably also wearing this totally 50's southern button up flowered dress and had ribbons and - yeah, she was hilarious. Anyway, Cody wanted to ask her to the dance and my friends and I tried to dissuade him and he was determined, and said he was going to do it.

Then there was this whole bizarre bit where my father and I were at the mall and going down the weirdest escalator ever, which was more like a slide (I'm installing a slide escalator in my next mall, let me tell you, this thing looked awesome). He took the stairs, but I hopped on the slide-scelator and went almost all the way down, but there was this woman partway down who was blocking the way, and i was like, hey, can I get past you? and then I looked and somehow she had gotten her finger caught under the plastic belt of the escalatorslide, and nobody could get past, if she moved her hand would get crushed as the thing tried to feed back through to the top. She freed herself, though, without even breaking a nail.

So, the next day we were at church. And it was seemingly a small church, but there was a lot of people there. And me and my friends were sitting there (and, rather unusually, none of my friends were people I actually know), and then they started doing announcements. And the group from the fair before gets up and starts singing this terrible little song, and apparently it was actually meant to advertise some fundraiser thing for a conference they wanted to go to, by raising money they were selling a CD of this awful little song? I was amused by it. And then, Cody goes up to the pulpit. I forget what happened, there was some confusion and he ended up saying something else, and people started to leave and then he goes "WAIT! I have to say this!" and my friends and I look at each other and are like, Oh he isn't really going to do this HERE.

Cody steels all his courage in his little high-school face and says "Carol-Ann, I think you are the prettiest most amazing girl that ever lived. Will you go to the dance with me? If you do, you win this lollipop!" (no lie, he hands her a lollipop, and like, a balloon) She smiles all sweet and takes the lollipop and considers him for a moment and then goes, "Gosh, Cody you sure are sweet. But I'm afraid I've already said I'd go with someone else. That is, if he buys me the CD." And then she hands him back the lollipop, and Cody looks like he would really just like to murder that person, and who comes up to the microphone? It's Trevor, here to defend his lady love. He says, "I got you the CD Carol Ann, right here! (he holds it up, and it is some random country music singer) You like right?" And Carol Ann does an amazing turn-with-blonde-curls-bobbing and says, very snidely. "No, I wanted Coldplay,"  His face falls.  "Dumbass" she adds under her breath. And I swear, at least four other guys stand up and have this look on their face, "Coldplay? Sweet! Now I know what to get you."

Trevor is still standing at the microphone looking dumbstruck and Cody laughes. And Trevor, who, let me remind you, is standing at the pulpit microphone in a church. On Sunday. Looks at him and goes. "You! You and me, jerk. You wanna have a fu....fu...." (everyone stares, open mouthed in horror at him) "Fuc....Fo....Folk..ing. Folk....Folk-dancing...Fight? Right now, outside!" Tears of laughter are now streaming down my face, and Cody is all like, "YEAH!" and all of the other guys who stood up are like, "YEAH!" and they all run outside to have a rumble. Folk-dancing style.

And my friends and I, who cannot possibly hold our laughter any longer, dive out the back door and start racing down corridors laughing SO VERY HARD until we just fall over. And I guess they were like, running behind me and kind of pushing each other as they ran and laughing and I just lost it, and said something to the effect of "What, are you two fighting over who gets to be my best friend? Are you going to have a folk-dancing fight too?" Only it was like, "Are....are you...two...going to...going..." because I was laughing so very, very hard that I could barely talk, and we were on the floor, crying, screaming with laughter, and I woke up and laughed out loud.

Folk-dancing hilarious. I love my dreams, seriously.

Actual conversation after this initial post:
Katy: I am so going to folkdance fight you the next time I see you  :D:D

Stess: omg i know

Katy: and this is great cause there is this "Skip to my Lou" move I have been dying to try

Stess: oh WHATEVER, bring it ON. Hell, i'll SQUAREDANCE Fight you. Elvira, beeetch. Elivira. WHAT NOW.

Katy: you wanna promenade with THIS? BRING IT! I will do-si-do your face!

Stess: Yeah, well, I'll SWING YOUR PARTNER ROUND-AND-ROUND, HA.

Katy: yea, well you better bow to this corner partner or I will end you...DIXIE STYLE!

Stess: You don't scare me none, I will TWO STEP on your GRAVE once I am done with you!

dreams

Previous post Next post
Up