(no subject)
I am working hard. Starting on Monday I will get only 1 and 1/2 days off from work. This is not bad, I really need the money before I leave for Missouri. I am starting to get nervous about money. I have only to worry about books and living expenses, but I still need to secure about 5,000 for the year. Hopefully I will get a stafford loan. I am pretty excited about this big move, it is still about 1 and 1/2 months away, but it is fast approaching. Just yesterday it was May and now all of the sudden July is right around the corner. I started packing my winter clothes for the move and I'm looking to start packing my decorations/tapestries this week. I have reserved my uhaul for the trip and Missy and I are going to take about two days and one night to get down there. I was talking with my mom and apparently my dad and mom are going to secretly follow me and missy as we tow my car to missouri. They want to take a vacation and see me off at the same time. Whatever, I was hoping to do this trip completely on my own, but I won't complain- I told them they can only follow us if they pay for our hotel and dinners = ). It is pretty crazy. This will be the first time in my entire life that I live in a different state from my parents all by myself. Not only a different state but half way across the country! What craziness. I am both terrified and excited. I get to make new friends, have my very own two bedroom apt. with an office! I get to experience middle america while at the same time pursuing the study of an ancient language from south asia! I will get to learn what it means to support yourself by both working and going to school full time! I know there will be nights were I cry myself to sleep and times when I am absolutely in over my head with school work. This will truly test my strength and will be a chance to prove to myself that I am not a kid anymore, even if not a full adult yet. This will be a chance to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be a scholar, a teacher, and a writer. A chance not to start over, but to step into a life I have been working towards since I could remember. It is funny when people are in one part of the life talking about their goals and where they want to be when they grow up and they imagine just waking up and bam! there it is, or that it never even comes to fruition. I think its surreal that its happening right now, the slow process of making yourself into the person you always wanted to be. Its self-awareness that only an obsessive person like myself would have. I know what I want, Im working towards it, and Im fully aware of the transformation in process.
I have also been considering where to go next, after missouri. I know it would be the rockstar dream to go to UVA for their phd program. But, I have been looking at University of Indiana... their program isn't nearly as strong as UVA, but it looks like a comfortable fit. It doesn't hurt that I have heard really good things about Bloomington Indiana. It is strange to even think about living in other states. I have lived all over the country, but I have been living in Virginia for my adult life and have been here long enough to consider it my homestate. THe rest of the country literally feels like a foreign country to me, the only continuity is language and television. The landscapes change drastically, as does the climate, and the general attitude of the people. The US is huge! Like GIGANTIC. I can understand why it really is hard to get people on the same boat when voting in elections. Everyone, everywhere, really do have different issues that are of more importance, and have different value systems influencing their decisions. I really wonder what Missouri will be like! What will I be like when I get back? I'm sure that since I will be in a university atmosphere not much will change. University are generally liberal/democratic (state universities at least) so whatever.
Anyways... I am just very very excited!
I have also been considering where to go next, after missouri. I know it would be the rockstar dream to go to UVA for their phd program. But, I have been looking at University of Indiana... their program isn't nearly as strong as UVA, but it looks like a comfortable fit. It doesn't hurt that I have heard really good things about Bloomington Indiana. It is strange to even think about living in other states. I have lived all over the country, but I have been living in Virginia for my adult life and have been here long enough to consider it my homestate. THe rest of the country literally feels like a foreign country to me, the only continuity is language and television. The landscapes change drastically, as does the climate, and the general attitude of the people. The US is huge! Like GIGANTIC. I can understand why it really is hard to get people on the same boat when voting in elections. Everyone, everywhere, really do have different issues that are of more importance, and have different value systems influencing their decisions. I really wonder what Missouri will be like! What will I be like when I get back? I'm sure that since I will be in a university atmosphere not much will change. University are generally liberal/democratic (state universities at least) so whatever.
Anyways... I am just very very excited!