Everybody sing with me one time
In between battling feelings of being an inadequate mother & wife there are also times where I just let everything coast along like setting my life on cruise control. Maybe I feel better right now because I have 2 days off from work in a row & after several weeks off my meds I started taking them again because I could feel the anxiety creeping back up & also things are progressing well with the pregnancy despite the Down syndrome. I can't help but wonder what if I chose an abortion? She's been fine all along & I never would have known if I hadn't kept her. I would never get over it. My mother still remembers her miscarriage & it happened more than 20 years ago.
Well, my birthday was last week & I pretty much did nothing, I did laundry & lied around on my crappy futon & later Phil brought me some pretty flowers & took me out to Bickford's for dinner but I couldn't enjoy my food because my stomach was all gassy & indigestion-like all day.
I haven't been eating too much junk but I'm not really exercising anymore because I'm too tired. I'm coming up on the 8th month of pregnancy & my weight gain has been pretty steady. Most of it is baby related, extra blood, fluids & developing milk but some of it is me too. Every week the numbers are up 2 or 3 pounds higher at the doctor's office but that is with all my clothes on. I'm really trying not to get too fat & I can't wait to diet again after delivery.
Childbirth preparation classes started this past Monday & they will continue for 4 more. I went to a breastfeeding class too the week before & I was surprised to learn all of the different benefits with breastfeeding babies. I didn't go through all that pain & swelling for nothing I'm using the milk that's coming. She can't get allergies from my breastmilk & it's free!
Okay that was a little gross. But it's only natural.
A week from Saturday I get married. Holy shit. I still need to find some shoes to wear but we have our rings & Phil has his suit & shoes & he looks oh so spiffy & the hall will be decorated by miss Kayla & Phil's mom next week so all the final details are falling into place. We still have to narrow down a spot for the ceremony & call the JP again so there's still more to do like checking on the progression of my cake which will be made by my old bakery buddies. Basically my ENTIRE family will be attending this shindig which makes me a little apprehensive but I think the whole day will be really fun. I'm sleeping over here the night before & if I think I'm nervous now it'll be a whole new story at the end of next week.
Well, my birthday was last week & I pretty much did nothing, I did laundry & lied around on my crappy futon & later Phil brought me some pretty flowers & took me out to Bickford's for dinner but I couldn't enjoy my food because my stomach was all gassy & indigestion-like all day.
I haven't been eating too much junk but I'm not really exercising anymore because I'm too tired. I'm coming up on the 8th month of pregnancy & my weight gain has been pretty steady. Most of it is baby related, extra blood, fluids & developing milk but some of it is me too. Every week the numbers are up 2 or 3 pounds higher at the doctor's office but that is with all my clothes on. I'm really trying not to get too fat & I can't wait to diet again after delivery.
Childbirth preparation classes started this past Monday & they will continue for 4 more. I went to a breastfeeding class too the week before & I was surprised to learn all of the different benefits with breastfeeding babies. I didn't go through all that pain & swelling for nothing I'm using the milk that's coming. She can't get allergies from my breastmilk & it's free!
Okay that was a little gross. But it's only natural.
A week from Saturday I get married. Holy shit. I still need to find some shoes to wear but we have our rings & Phil has his suit & shoes & he looks oh so spiffy & the hall will be decorated by miss Kayla & Phil's mom next week so all the final details are falling into place. We still have to narrow down a spot for the ceremony & call the JP again so there's still more to do like checking on the progression of my cake which will be made by my old bakery buddies. Basically my ENTIRE family will be attending this shindig which makes me a little apprehensive but I think the whole day will be really fun. I'm sleeping over here the night before & if I think I'm nervous now it'll be a whole new story at the end of next week.