And now an unveiling...
I am the most fickle person I know.
About things that I wouldn't think I could be fickle about.
And now, as usual, after those lengthy soft-spoken words of reassurance,
I feel much better.
*
From the moment she walked in my front door
I knew I couldn't.
M.H. loves me far more than any other person on the planet.
Even my parents.
(in a different sort of way, though)
**
This time 24 hours previous:
We are still moving all of the junk for the yard sale to the front room.
I am trying not to think of the hardest thing I will ever have to do.
The hardest thing is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid thinking about.
Time passes:
Talking to J.F. is helping me deal with the most difficult thoughts.
But I still feel terrible.
Those salt water faucets kept dripping while window pane shutters pinched
Open and shut. Open and shut.
Somewhere in between:
I took two of the pills that said "We'll help you sleep."
They took too long- my thoughts kept colliding.
Where is that cigarette? Why is my mom awake? I need this Luckyyy.......zzz.
***
When I woke up, it felt as if that wrestler was at my temples again;
this time he had a baseball bat.
Sour eyed and disputed we trudged our belongings to the porch.
(who in their right mind would buy this crap?)
We're off to a splendid start again.
[editors note: "We most definitely are not."]
Small breaks between the monotony ensue.
If only I had other things to talk about with my friends.
This is like counting down to midnight, except I'm not excited-
because the ball will be dropped on me.
I guess I should call.
Yes. See you soon. Bye.
Shower, dress, downstairs and we've arrived at the "I can't" part.
"Can't" will become "Shouldn't" will become "Won't".
From here on out we saw small flickers of light
that reminded us of beauty
we hadn't felt
because we were too self-absorbed to find.
If I try harder
if you smile in my direction
and constellations can stay the same
I think the truth will present itself.
And for the finish
I'll come back home
to whisper quietly
the only words you'll ever hear,
*because only I can say them.
Line 23 say 23 was a good number to think about if one wants to find a revelation.
About things that I wouldn't think I could be fickle about.
And now, as usual, after those lengthy soft-spoken words of reassurance,
I feel much better.
*
From the moment she walked in my front door
I knew I couldn't.
M.H. loves me far more than any other person on the planet.
Even my parents.
(in a different sort of way, though)
**
This time 24 hours previous:
We are still moving all of the junk for the yard sale to the front room.
I am trying not to think of the hardest thing I will ever have to do.
The hardest thing is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid thinking about.
Time passes:
Talking to J.F. is helping me deal with the most difficult thoughts.
But I still feel terrible.
Those salt water faucets kept dripping while window pane shutters pinched
Open and shut. Open and shut.
Somewhere in between:
I took two of the pills that said "We'll help you sleep."
They took too long- my thoughts kept colliding.
Where is that cigarette? Why is my mom awake? I need this Luckyyy.......zzz.
***
When I woke up, it felt as if that wrestler was at my temples again;
this time he had a baseball bat.
Sour eyed and disputed we trudged our belongings to the porch.
(who in their right mind would buy this crap?)
We're off to a splendid start again.
[editors note: "We most definitely are not."]
Small breaks between the monotony ensue.
If only I had other things to talk about with my friends.
This is like counting down to midnight, except I'm not excited-
because the ball will be dropped on me.
I guess I should call.
Yes. See you soon. Bye.
Shower, dress, downstairs and we've arrived at the "I can't" part.
"Can't" will become "Shouldn't" will become "Won't".
From here on out we saw small flickers of light
that reminded us of beauty
we hadn't felt
because we were too self-absorbed to find.
If I try harder
if you smile in my direction
and constellations can stay the same
I think the truth will present itself.
And for the finish
I'll come back home
to whisper quietly
the only words you'll ever hear,
*because only I can say them.
Line 23 say 23 was a good number to think about if one wants to find a revelation.