smartpartment
every oz. of jagermeister i drink today is an oz. i don't have to move tomorrow. this bottle is my enemy! i will show you!
so yes, my soul is packed into boxes and i'm ready to move into Gurkie's Penthouse. moving always feels stressful for me, even when it's merely two days of putting stuff in and taking stuff out of boxes. but i just can't deal with change! i love my big empty apartment. let me stay here!
i was hoping this would be the apartment i'd get lucky in. you know, living alone! bachelor pad! no roommates to ask pokey questions! but no, the only 2 or 3 guys i ended up bringing back here were too old, gross, or going back to law school in 1 week. the coolest memories i have of this apartment were getting blasted with paul. we'd stay up till like 6-7 am drinking and playing video games, and then he'd drive home (sober.) summing it up in 20 words like that makes me sound like a loser for relishing something so trivial, but i stand by it.
the happiest times of my life in general were when i had like 1 small circle of friends. but with most people it's like, they have 3-5 circles of friends and 6-10 people in each circle. even myself, i'm no better, nowadays i have my little bridge circle, my online "art circle", my "friend circle" (ouch to all my other circles!) and my "work circle". isn't that the worst, to know so many people in such a shallow way, because you only know them for the few hours-a-week you spend in that circle activity? but what's the likelihood of meeting anybody in one circle who isn't totally grossed out or bored by your activities in another circle? no, it's good to keep everybody in their own circle.
"what kind of a stupid side track was that? you were telling us about your apartment."
"oh, okay. well here are things i fear about this new apartment"
1. what if Gurkie won't let me drill holes in her walls to install my cool surround system? will i just have to play all of my video games with headphones, or through the tinny speakers in the TV?
2. does she already have one of those spoon-holders you set on your stove? what if even though mine is prettier, she WON'T get rid of hers? will we just have two places to put our spoons?! or what if i get rid of mine, and then she moves out!! where will i put my spoons then!!
3. ditto for our vacuum cleaners, dishes, silverware, phones, blenders, microwave ovens, routers, light fixtures, and end tables. aaaah! we're going to have two of EVERYTHING!
4. she has all of these mushy tables that aren't really tables! if you eat on them and get food on them, it rubs into the fabric! and if you try to write on them, the pencil goes through the paper and rips it. so what will i draw on and write on and eat on when i watch t.v!!
5. my commute is going to be 2 flights of stairs longer than it used to be!
6. i won't have my own gym. i guess i'll have to get a membership at gold's gym or something? what is mens changing room etiquette? am i supposed to bring a bag with gym clothes and a towel? is it okay to be naked in there? am i supposed to shower too?
7. parking is horrible at her place, and i've had to park across the street/at safeway at least 5 times over the past year. what if i can't park anywhere? what if i invite someone over and THEY can't park anywhere?
so yes, my soul is packed into boxes and i'm ready to move into Gurkie's Penthouse. moving always feels stressful for me, even when it's merely two days of putting stuff in and taking stuff out of boxes. but i just can't deal with change! i love my big empty apartment. let me stay here!
i was hoping this would be the apartment i'd get lucky in. you know, living alone! bachelor pad! no roommates to ask pokey questions! but no, the only 2 or 3 guys i ended up bringing back here were too old, gross, or going back to law school in 1 week. the coolest memories i have of this apartment were getting blasted with paul. we'd stay up till like 6-7 am drinking and playing video games, and then he'd drive home (sober.) summing it up in 20 words like that makes me sound like a loser for relishing something so trivial, but i stand by it.
the happiest times of my life in general were when i had like 1 small circle of friends. but with most people it's like, they have 3-5 circles of friends and 6-10 people in each circle. even myself, i'm no better, nowadays i have my little bridge circle, my online "art circle", my "friend circle" (ouch to all my other circles!) and my "work circle". isn't that the worst, to know so many people in such a shallow way, because you only know them for the few hours-a-week you spend in that circle activity? but what's the likelihood of meeting anybody in one circle who isn't totally grossed out or bored by your activities in another circle? no, it's good to keep everybody in their own circle.
"what kind of a stupid side track was that? you were telling us about your apartment."
"oh, okay. well here are things i fear about this new apartment"
1. what if Gurkie won't let me drill holes in her walls to install my cool surround system? will i just have to play all of my video games with headphones, or through the tinny speakers in the TV?
2. does she already have one of those spoon-holders you set on your stove? what if even though mine is prettier, she WON'T get rid of hers? will we just have two places to put our spoons?! or what if i get rid of mine, and then she moves out!! where will i put my spoons then!!
3. ditto for our vacuum cleaners, dishes, silverware, phones, blenders, microwave ovens, routers, light fixtures, and end tables. aaaah! we're going to have two of EVERYTHING!
4. she has all of these mushy tables that aren't really tables! if you eat on them and get food on them, it rubs into the fabric! and if you try to write on them, the pencil goes through the paper and rips it. so what will i draw on and write on and eat on when i watch t.v!!
5. my commute is going to be 2 flights of stairs longer than it used to be!
6. i won't have my own gym. i guess i'll have to get a membership at gold's gym or something? what is mens changing room etiquette? am i supposed to bring a bag with gym clothes and a towel? is it okay to be naked in there? am i supposed to shower too?
7. parking is horrible at her place, and i've had to park across the street/at safeway at least 5 times over the past year. what if i can't park anywhere? what if i invite someone over and THEY can't park anywhere?