It's better by far to get paid.
Crash.
Now I am sad.
I feel as though the high-point of my day was first thing this morning.
Then class was good, lunch was pleasant, and then I came to work.
And because I worry too much about everything and take everything too seriously, and because money scares me I am now upset and doing that thing where I'm very quiet and feel very shy and look like like my dog just died. I'm not going to get paid next week, or the week after that for that matter. No. I will not see a paycheck until the 3rd of February. This would not be acceptable for an adult. I am a student, so I don't matter and people can tread on my life with no regard whatsoever and I will continue to photocopy and answer the phone and do all the other things that I do. It's lame, it's sad, but this really upsets me. I need to pay for books. I did everything I was supposed to, and I don't care if it's childish of me to say so, but it's not fair and I don't deserve this.
Fuck.
I want my girl to come and get me now. I know that she will make everything better and that we will go have fun this afternoon. And this weekend we will cuddle and sleep and cuddle and watch movies and cuddle, and that will make everything wonderful.
But now I am sad.
What would Kierkegaard have to say?
Now I am sad.
I feel as though the high-point of my day was first thing this morning.
Then class was good, lunch was pleasant, and then I came to work.
And because I worry too much about everything and take everything too seriously, and because money scares me I am now upset and doing that thing where I'm very quiet and feel very shy and look like like my dog just died. I'm not going to get paid next week, or the week after that for that matter. No. I will not see a paycheck until the 3rd of February. This would not be acceptable for an adult. I am a student, so I don't matter and people can tread on my life with no regard whatsoever and I will continue to photocopy and answer the phone and do all the other things that I do. It's lame, it's sad, but this really upsets me. I need to pay for books. I did everything I was supposed to, and I don't care if it's childish of me to say so, but it's not fair and I don't deserve this.
Fuck.
I want my girl to come and get me now. I know that she will make everything better and that we will go have fun this afternoon. And this weekend we will cuddle and sleep and cuddle and watch movies and cuddle, and that will make everything wonderful.
But now I am sad.
What would Kierkegaard have to say?